welcome back

[etherealsquid]

five seconds after you left I finally had something to say. I can't remember it now, and if I can I don't feel the words resonate anymore. I went outside to talk to someone, no one, anyone, and the moon. Nobody was there and the moon hid behind clouds. So yelling into the sky and the cold about betrayal and depresion and anger, I raved and ranted (like I said I would, eventually) until I ran out of anything new to say. Then I ranted it all through again.

I'm a dramatic fool, I can't break moments and I live my life with symbolism.

I cut my hair after that. I used scissors until someone gave me a buzzer. I kept cutting until there wasn't anything left to cut.

I have to sit here now, in the quiet emptyness of way the hell too lateness, and there's nothing to distract me, no matter how much I try.

I don't know what I feel right now, I don't know what I want to feel. I'm angry and numb and sad all together.

The worst feeling I have is just because I was looking forward to this. excited you were coming home, and you crushed it in an hour or two.
No, not the worst feeling.

I don't know what I'm typing, nummmmmb is my mind and I'm geting less coherent.
My thoughts are scattered, disjointed.

and I'll miss you anyway.
(That might be the hardest part.)

This is the sound of my head imploding.