find my way
i awake to a quiet world full of silence. the tempests are still raging as far as i can tell. this is far from over, but at least for now, i can refocus myself in time to anticipate whats coming. the truth for once came out last night. and some more truth will come out now. i wish i had never met sudry. i wish she would just die or go away. the shit that we went through for things to end up like this is so petty. i cannot believe she would do anything like this to me. its appaling at best. now i am at a crossroads as to what i should do with the two parties involved. i have never gone along with popular opinion. yes audry, alot of people now know the whole situation. there is someone else who cares. so much for your fantasy of being able to try to hurt me and toy with me without people finding out. never ask me to do that again. if i could cry i would. i cannot cry about anything. i have way too much to deal with. my plate is full. hmmph. i wonder how you really felt about me audry. i wonder if you lied to me then. what should i do with you two? you know what though? i was thinking, just because you two thought i would call the coops, maybe i should just because i can. but naw. if i wanted to do something to any of you, i wouldnt be so nice. jail is just too easy. if you are afraid of the law, damn son, you dont know what i could do then. ever wonder why i am not afraid of anyone? keep fucking lieing and you will find out. as for you audry, wow. did you really want ot have my child or were you lieing to me at that time too? how many times did you lie to me? i lied only once to you, i learned my lesson and did not do it again. somehow words cannot express the shame i feel just for knowing you. adam was right about people like you audry. i treated you like a princess and this is what i get in return? is that fair? maybe i should equalize the situation. but no. not just you but alot of other people would not be amongst the rest of the world. but you know what else? you arent worth the time, effort or worth anything. you will always be nothing more than just a liar to me. oh and by the way you cannot apologize to me. there is no making up for this. even if you dont want to. when you face your own death, you will remember all of this and cry yourself to death. someone who you had a future with, someone who genuinely cared for you, you tore down with your various webs of deciet and lies. wayne man, i pray this doesnt happen to you. because if it does. dont call me. i will only say i told you so. its a codl world out there people, i am only showing you all what you have shown me. i cant be nice all the time. i warned all about decieving me. it seems as though i talk to trees. but at least the trees listen. what does that say about you?
-Jonny Boy
-Jonny Boy