the dawn now comes
all i can say is wow. i have never been happier with another female human being in my entire life. someone who is true and is there no matter what my situation may be. wow. dedication from you came alot easier than any other. this of course is not to say it was easy or anything of that particular nature, just my efforts seem to have not gone unnoticed. wow. a part of me still thinks this may blow up in my face, i hope not. the possibility for failure is always there no matter how perfect things may seem my darling. thats being realistic. i know i hate it too. but what can i say? tonight was a real breakthrough for you and i. i can feel you and i coming ever closer by the day, and this is both exciting and savored at the same time. yes, you do make me happy. yes, i do love you. but, when i come to think about it, i can't really define an exact reason why. maybe this is what true love feels like. its just a feeling you know is love. it feels wonderful. as if a light has been rekindled in a cavern that has been dark for a very long time. i haven't been this content, happy, excited, loved, and anxious (in a good way) in all of my life. you make me believe that there is someone out there for everyone, even a person such as myself. you asked me once if i believed in soul mates, and i said to you that i think there is more than just one person for anyone. i wish to amend my statement a little tad. i think now that there is one person for anyone that is a perfect match. some go through their entire lives searching for that one person. i pray and hope against hope i don't have to do that. eventhough i am still uncertain as to whether or not you are mine, i can say this, you are as close to it as it can get up until now. i smile alot more when i am around you, which mike can back me up on that i do not smile very often. you have that ability in you to bring out that silly side of me eventhough i am serious by nature. and above all, you make me feel so damn good when i am around you. like i am the center of your attention and nothing else really maters. i hope you feel the same way about the way i treat you. all of our problems thus far seem now irrelevant. almost as if they never did happen and it has just been you and i since we met. wow. i think that because we both share certain qualities from other individuals whom we have been with in the past, bring us closer than most into a bond that even the greatest sword could not even fathom to scratch. it feels good and so i say wow. muah muah muah muah muah muah i love you.
o yeah, so im not leaving out anyone entirely, mike man, i hope shit works out with you. much love to ya man. i am here for you and i think shannon will be too. where we go one, we go all, never forget that man. i have always been a listening ear to you. much love to ya. good fucking night (I gotta be me) lol. all right all you jew bags, steers and queers and pieces of amphibious shiut, this journal is fucking done! lol! good night never neverland. i need some sleep so i am gonna put a goddamned movie on and fucking watch that son of a bitch. as soon as i unfold my motherfucking bed. lol. just messin with you guys. what would i be if i didn't curse as much as i usually do? like i said i gotta be me.
peace -Paul Xavier`