(no subject)

[eternityanight]

Today is our 11 month anniversary. 42 weeks, 304 days. Well, it'a a really long time. My heart is filled with an emotion only concieved in movies, plays & books. My soul is thriving off the energy my heart has created. I am whole. Once again. My life has been everything I love & hate. I have problems, faults, blemishes, but none of the above matters now. I am a human. A person. I feel alive this past 5 weeks like I never have before. It's been said by the wise that "if you love them let them go. If it's really love & meant to be; they will come back" It's the truth. I lfe him go, he came back & it's never been so wonderful. I am a fool. But all that doesn't matter. Fool or not. I love him with every fiber, every thread of my being. My life is so his to do with what he pleases as is myheart & soul. I've done things I'm not proud of. Said things I didn't mean in a moment of pain & vulnerability & yet none of that matters. This amazing human with whom I am lucky to be in the prescence of...loves me. He is my world. & yet, why can't I just say I am nothing without you. No, I must hope he stumbles upon these secret confessions one day. That he may know how I feel. Nathan, my dearest Nathan. I'm so afraid to lose you. I don't want to smother you, or not pay enough attention. Love is like a fire you must love & nurtyre it. But if you give it too much, it will smother out. It can burn forever or die out as quickly as it came. It may burn you, scar you, but the right amount of it will warm you, protect you. He has taught me soo much & for that I am thankful. My life has come at a crossroad. I am taking the parth that brings me closer to him. I pray we can endure it all. You learn, live, & love. I just hope I can be everything he needs. All he has to do is tell me & whatever he asks of me, I will do. Forever I am yours. Forever I will love you.
Nathaniel Allen Pannel. I love you.

Love always,
Mousie