Sometimes it isn't just a back rub...
I am having an issue with my fiance'. It's a major issue that goes back to our first month of actually being together. When I say actually being together I mean we were friends before that and then we started dating. Our sex life has never been great. When we first started hanging out together we stayed up all night woke up early for work I know that's always how it is for everyone but here comes the disappointment...
The first time we had sex I was so exhausted by from these late nights I started falling asleep in the middle of it...and to make things worse he started humming the Nintendo theme song to make me laugh...it worked I woke up we finished and went straight to sleep as I think both worked an early shift that day.
Its never gotten much better. Oh I'm not saying that we haven't had some great romps in the last three years if we hadn't I'm sure neither of us would have stuck around. But i like sex a lot. And he when we first started dating said the same thing that it was important to him and he would (because we were friends before we started dating) tell me about how him and his ex couldn't get though Troy because the always made out and had to leave the theater they wanted each other so much...he has never ever wanted me that much...hell I'm not even sure what i do to turn him on...we have never had heavy make out sessions...i wish we had he's never wanted to have sex with me in inappropriate places cause he had to have me right there and then...he doesn't even wanna do fore play with me anymore and he's the one who use to insist that i get off before he does...
He lived with his parents when we first got together and I lived with mine and had a kid so we didn't get much time to do anything but in Jan of 08 we started living together and things did change for a while a long while actually. After our first miscarriage a couple months into living together we actually decided we wanted to have a baby but it was a hit and miss thing if it happened great if it didn't oh well. and again we had so much fun with the sex that summer we were doing it at least three times a day (anyone who cares where my son was my parents take him on their holidays to visit family that i don't know) then in Oct of 08 we had another miscarriage and we decided OK we want a baby. In comes everything that we need to know when I'm Ovulating and the sex kinda turns mechanic which was my fault i will admit that.
OK March 09 I'm pregnant we are happy as heck and of course we both kinda don't wanna do anything to make me miscarry again so we avoid sex for the first 3 months...after that we have sex as much as we can seeing as he's tired and so am i. Well in the end months he like many men out there was afraid to have sex with me because he might hurt the baby (i looked like a blimp) and what not...when I finely had the baby a beautiful baby girl born December 13/09 six weeks later he was like a lion on a zebra...he couldn't get enough of me for a few days...
Spring into now...its been almost two months...if you wanna get technical a month and a half...I know this because we had sex the day before my period started in Feb and still haven't had it.
I don't know if he's scared of me getting pregnant again so soon (he doesn't want me to go on birth control because i have nothing but health issues on them) but we are using condoms and we found condoms that don't bother me and lets him feel everything...I'm starting to feel like he doesn't love me anymore...
I know what your thinking oh he's cheating on her...yeah in any other relationship i would say yes your right he is cheating on me...but we are always together except when he's at work and when he's on break he calls me...
He has never wanted me as much as he wanted his ex...this i have always known and I've come to accept it. She cheated on him...hurt him bad...like i said because i was the friend i had to hear about everything so i also know how much he loved her...
In the back of my mind i keep thinking he wants to go back to her and maybe he does maybe this relationship was just suppose to be a rebound (for both of us except my ex killed himself) but she's getting married to the guy she left him for...
I don't know what to think I just needed to get it out of my head a little vent.
He doesn't even kiss me with passion anymore maybe he's tired from the baby...but I'm the one with her all the time...I feed her, change her, am up with her at night when shes being funny (normally she sleeps through the night)...
Maybe he is cheating on me, he never comes home late from work, if he goes out by himself its to cubs for my son where he is a leader, I cant think of a time he's without me our baby or my son (who he calls his son just so everyone knows)
I did gain some weight while i was pregnant. I was on bed rest for about six months of it...i am trying to lose it not shedding as fast now that I'm almost thirty as my first one when i was twenty...but i am...and I'm getting my teeth fixed so i can smile again( lost a lot of them due to genetics, acid reflux and then to top it off the pregnancy)...
He does so much to try and show me how much he loves me. But i know it will never be as much as he loved her. it breaks my heart. I should have just told him when we were friends to go back to her...then i wouldn't be here typing this out and thinking how much he doesn't love me because he wants her...
Rereading this as im editing i think i realising that he just doesnt love me anymore...or maybe he never did...
thoughs are always welcome.
The first time we had sex I was so exhausted by from these late nights I started falling asleep in the middle of it...and to make things worse he started humming the Nintendo theme song to make me laugh...it worked I woke up we finished and went straight to sleep as I think both worked an early shift that day.
Its never gotten much better. Oh I'm not saying that we haven't had some great romps in the last three years if we hadn't I'm sure neither of us would have stuck around. But i like sex a lot. And he when we first started dating said the same thing that it was important to him and he would (because we were friends before we started dating) tell me about how him and his ex couldn't get though Troy because the always made out and had to leave the theater they wanted each other so much...he has never ever wanted me that much...hell I'm not even sure what i do to turn him on...we have never had heavy make out sessions...i wish we had he's never wanted to have sex with me in inappropriate places cause he had to have me right there and then...he doesn't even wanna do fore play with me anymore and he's the one who use to insist that i get off before he does...
He lived with his parents when we first got together and I lived with mine and had a kid so we didn't get much time to do anything but in Jan of 08 we started living together and things did change for a while a long while actually. After our first miscarriage a couple months into living together we actually decided we wanted to have a baby but it was a hit and miss thing if it happened great if it didn't oh well. and again we had so much fun with the sex that summer we were doing it at least three times a day (anyone who cares where my son was my parents take him on their holidays to visit family that i don't know) then in Oct of 08 we had another miscarriage and we decided OK we want a baby. In comes everything that we need to know when I'm Ovulating and the sex kinda turns mechanic which was my fault i will admit that.
OK March 09 I'm pregnant we are happy as heck and of course we both kinda don't wanna do anything to make me miscarry again so we avoid sex for the first 3 months...after that we have sex as much as we can seeing as he's tired and so am i. Well in the end months he like many men out there was afraid to have sex with me because he might hurt the baby (i looked like a blimp) and what not...when I finely had the baby a beautiful baby girl born December 13/09 six weeks later he was like a lion on a zebra...he couldn't get enough of me for a few days...
Spring into now...its been almost two months...if you wanna get technical a month and a half...I know this because we had sex the day before my period started in Feb and still haven't had it.
I don't know if he's scared of me getting pregnant again so soon (he doesn't want me to go on birth control because i have nothing but health issues on them) but we are using condoms and we found condoms that don't bother me and lets him feel everything...I'm starting to feel like he doesn't love me anymore...
I know what your thinking oh he's cheating on her...yeah in any other relationship i would say yes your right he is cheating on me...but we are always together except when he's at work and when he's on break he calls me...
He has never wanted me as much as he wanted his ex...this i have always known and I've come to accept it. She cheated on him...hurt him bad...like i said because i was the friend i had to hear about everything so i also know how much he loved her...
In the back of my mind i keep thinking he wants to go back to her and maybe he does maybe this relationship was just suppose to be a rebound (for both of us except my ex killed himself) but she's getting married to the guy she left him for...
I don't know what to think I just needed to get it out of my head a little vent.
He doesn't even kiss me with passion anymore maybe he's tired from the baby...but I'm the one with her all the time...I feed her, change her, am up with her at night when shes being funny (normally she sleeps through the night)...
Maybe he is cheating on me, he never comes home late from work, if he goes out by himself its to cubs for my son where he is a leader, I cant think of a time he's without me our baby or my son (who he calls his son just so everyone knows)
I did gain some weight while i was pregnant. I was on bed rest for about six months of it...i am trying to lose it not shedding as fast now that I'm almost thirty as my first one when i was twenty...but i am...and I'm getting my teeth fixed so i can smile again( lost a lot of them due to genetics, acid reflux and then to top it off the pregnancy)...
He does so much to try and show me how much he loves me. But i know it will never be as much as he loved her. it breaks my heart. I should have just told him when we were friends to go back to her...then i wouldn't be here typing this out and thinking how much he doesn't love me because he wants her...
Rereading this as im editing i think i realising that he just doesnt love me anymore...or maybe he never did...
thoughs are always welcome.