its been a week
its been a week and this past weekend was so hard not only cause it was thanksgiving. But because i was in and out of the doctors office on thursday and friday night and then on saturday and sunday night i was in the hospital. It was hard cause i was sitting there alone knowing he would have been there with me if he could have been. If he hadnt been so STUPID....
Today i was so mad at him i was taking a bath and i was crying and screaming that he was supose to be here that we were supose to be together right now not me trying to figure out how im going to get to FUCKING Quebec for his funeral...its not fair.
even my parents thought this was the one....i hate my life...he made it happy and he made me want to be everything i was being while he was around...but now...what am i doing it for....wasnt i good enought to live for???
either way on thursday the doctor attemted to treat me for one thing...then on friday they treated me for something else...then saturday at the hospital they treated me with a stronger medication for the first thing i went in for...and sunday night they completely changed the direction told me to stop everything and try this other medication...hopefully...this will work but so far it sucks ad isnt working....
I miss paul. I miss him with all my heart. I cant get over this at least not yet...so with in the next few weeks PLEASE bare with me when i randomly go through my saddness and maddness....ty...
Today i was so mad at him i was taking a bath and i was crying and screaming that he was supose to be here that we were supose to be together right now not me trying to figure out how im going to get to FUCKING Quebec for his funeral...its not fair.
even my parents thought this was the one....i hate my life...he made it happy and he made me want to be everything i was being while he was around...but now...what am i doing it for....wasnt i good enought to live for???
either way on thursday the doctor attemted to treat me for one thing...then on friday they treated me for something else...then saturday at the hospital they treated me with a stronger medication for the first thing i went in for...and sunday night they completely changed the direction told me to stop everything and try this other medication...hopefully...this will work but so far it sucks ad isnt working....
I miss paul. I miss him with all my heart. I cant get over this at least not yet...so with in the next few weeks PLEASE bare with me when i randomly go through my saddness and maddness....ty...