teenage woes
Why does life just kind of suck right now? Actually, no, not kind of. Why does life really suck? Why am I not happy. Like, at all. About anything. Why do I not feel right, but there's nothing I can put my finger on that is wrong? Why is nothing enough for me anymore. I'm acing all my classes, but I could really care less. My friends are being nice and friendly and fun, but whatever. My parents aren't being psycho, but I still find things to complain about them. My life is all going "according to plan", but at the end of the night, it just never adds up to 100%. I have a really great boyfriend that genuinely cares about me and is doing all the right things, but somehow, it just doesn't feel like enough. I find little things to complain about, and I'm not satisfied even though he's doing more than plenty of other girls' boyfriends I know. What the hell is wrong with me?
But the funny thing is, even if I had answers to all these questions, even if there were suddenly reasons to attribute all these dissatisfactions and funky emotions to... I really don't think I would be any happier. Knowing why would not really help, so I don't even know why I'm asking.
I am ready to be done. I want to put all of this behind me. All the awkwardness. All the not knowing. All the drama. Either that or I want to rewind to a time when I was so much happier and things were so much simpler. But I don't think time machines are going to be invented or affordable any time soon. So. Until then. I'm only as happy as I choose to be. Right? If only I could convince myself it's really that easy.
This is supposed to be one of the most fun times of my life.
I'm miserable.
But the funny thing is, even if I had answers to all these questions, even if there were suddenly reasons to attribute all these dissatisfactions and funky emotions to... I really don't think I would be any happier. Knowing why would not really help, so I don't even know why I'm asking.
I am ready to be done. I want to put all of this behind me. All the awkwardness. All the not knowing. All the drama. Either that or I want to rewind to a time when I was so much happier and things were so much simpler. But I don't think time machines are going to be invented or affordable any time soon. So. Until then. I'm only as happy as I choose to be. Right? If only I could convince myself it's really that easy.
This is supposed to be one of the most fun times of my life.
I'm miserable.