Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him?
I found an old mixed cd that I made about 2 or so years ago & this song came on that just made me really think about a lot. I have a lot going on with me, a lot that I'm trying to just let slide so I don't end up going fucking insane. Everyday has become so much more to me than it used to be & seriously beyond anything I've figured out that what I thought of myself is completely wrong. I am so tired of everyone telling me how stupid I am or how I'm so ignorant. Let me make this clear, .. I can't, .. for some reason let go. I don't know why, .. I don't know what it is , .. but I am not that type of person & I never will be. If I could, .. I would destroy everything about who I am so that some part of me would be stronger than it is. I have no nerve when it comes to this situation & I'm fucking sorry, .. because I don't know why. If I could , .. If there was anything I could do to change it I would. When I attempt to stand up , .. when I attempt to do anything, if it even makes her mad at me, I crumble. I feel pathetic enough without everyone reminding me every minute of everyday how fucking pathetic I am. I never once asked anyone to feel sorry for me, I never will. I put myself in this position. She told me they aren't together, .. & she told me she's being faithful. That's it. The end.
where did summer go?
left me to wonder when the bottle will tap out.
and the sun will arise.
i woke up yesterday with a hole in my chest...
(yet i feel no pain) numb to all feeling
(like in winters chill) to feel the warmth from this bottle is useless
(when you wake up it's gone) when you wake up it all starts again.
i learned to break yesterday.
destroy tomorrow.
i've watched each leaf fall off my tree.
i've watched the seasons change.
(yet i feel no pain) numb to all feeling
(like in winters chill) to feel the warmth from this bottle is useless
(when you wake up it's gone) when you wake up it all starts again.
(why?) it all starts again
(why step aside when you fall back in place?) it all starts again
(why? why? why?)
(Oh misery is so beautiful...)
(yet i feel no pain) numb to all feeling
(like in winters chill) to feel the warmth from this bottle is useless
(when you wake up it's gone) when you wake up it all starts again.
i need this...
where did summer go?
left me to wonder when the bottle will tap out.
and the sun will arise.
i woke up yesterday with a hole in my chest...
(yet i feel no pain) numb to all feeling
(like in winters chill) to feel the warmth from this bottle is useless
(when you wake up it's gone) when you wake up it all starts again.
i learned to break yesterday.
destroy tomorrow.
i've watched each leaf fall off my tree.
i've watched the seasons change.
(yet i feel no pain) numb to all feeling
(like in winters chill) to feel the warmth from this bottle is useless
(when you wake up it's gone) when you wake up it all starts again.
(why?) it all starts again
(why step aside when you fall back in place?) it all starts again
(why? why? why?)
(Oh misery is so beautiful...)
(yet i feel no pain) numb to all feeling
(like in winters chill) to feel the warmth from this bottle is useless
(when you wake up it's gone) when you wake up it all starts again.
i need this...