[FIC] Love Me Twice (… because I just can’t let you go) [27/??]
“I don’t understand. Why would you want out?” Yoochun asked, hating the fact that right now his heart was filled with so much hurt and anger.
“Those two aren’t going to accept you back in anytime soon, plus … after all that’s happened so far, I don’t think I can do this to Jae-hyung anymore” Junsu told him, clutching onto his stomach with both hands.
“We haven’t even given them time to give us a chance yet, we can’t give up this early” Yoochun tried to reason with him.
“There isn’t anything left to do except beg, and even by doing that I doubt Yunho will let us slide so easily.”
Yoochun felt something was up, something Junsu refused to talk about. Having him breaking off with him like this certainly wasn’t like Junsu, and Yoochun was determined to get down to the bottom of this.
“I know this isn’t only about Yunho and JaeJoong, I can tell something’s wrong. What is it Su?” he asked gently.
When Yoochun reached out to touch him, Junsu took a step back and hugged himself with his hands. He didn’t want to look up at Yoochun face, fearing that he’d see hurt and disappoint cross over.
“I never fully understood what Jae-hyung went through with you until now. Even if you were angry then, why did you have to do that? Why couldn’t you find some other way to deal with your anger rather than taking it out on someone else?!” Junsu scolded as tears began trickling down the sides of his cheeks.
“I … I’m sorry -”
“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to. Don’t you realize what you’ve done? Jae-hyung is afraid of you because you hurt him severely back then. I can understand why he fears for me now, but I know you better than anyone else, including him. I know you’re not that kind of person. I know you feel bad for what you did in the past. I know you want to move on and forget what happened then, but do they know that?”
Yoochun glanced away from him, feeling ashamed at his own self.
“Don’t get me wrong” Junsu continued after taking a deep breath, “I still have feelings for you, but until Jae-hyung puts this whole ordeal behind him for good, we can’t be together” he whispered apologetically.
Yoochun understood where he was coming from. He knew Junsu would to anything to protect his own flesh and blood. He deeply admired the latter for that, but sacrificing their own love? How long could that last? Months? Years even? What if Junsu’s feelings for him have changed by then? Was he really willing to let Junsu go again after waiting all this time?
“What about me Su? What if I don’t want to part with you? You know how hard it was the first time; we don’t need to put ourselves through this all over again.”
When Junsu continued to remain quiet, Yoochun pressed on, “If apologizing is what you want me to do I’ll do it, I’ll do anything, just please don’t do this” he begged.
“Yoochun” he croaked out, “please don’t make this harder than it already is. I get that you’re upset, but right now … I need time to think, we all do.”
For the first time in a while, Junsu carefully glanced up at him and immediately regretted doing so. The sight in front of him broke his heart to pieces. He’s never seen Yoochun cry before, and it only made him feel worse about what he was doing to destroy him on the inside.
“My intention isn’t to hurt you, believe me. I just feel this is best for everyone’s interest. I … I don’t want Yunho and Jae-hyung to see you as a threat anymore.”
Yoochun shifted over to Junsu and wrapped his arms around his waist, surprising the latter by gently pulling him close, “If that is what you’re really after, then I don’t want to force you into doing anything your not willing to do. Just know one thing Kim Junsu. I’m not going to give up on us. I’ll come back when you’re ready to start over again.”
As much as his heart was hurting right now, if this was what Junsu wanted, Yoochun would do almost anything to make his wish come true.
Cautiously, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Junsu’s. Yoochun used one hand to tilt his head to the side while Junsu slipped his arms around his neck, allowing him more access to deepen their kiss. His tongue prompted Junsu’s lips apart, and he lapped it against all corners of his mouth. Junsu only wished then that this kiss of theirs would last forever and that nothing would have to urge them to break up yet again like this.
‘Would now be a good time to tell him?’ they both thought simultaneously.
Yoochun was the one to pull back first as the real reason for his visit to Junsu finally dawned on him, “There’s actually something I need to tell you, and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.”
“What is it?”
“I … got promoted in my job, so my boss is relocating me elsewhere.”
Junsu stared at him in disbelief, “w-what?”
Yoochun finally gained the courage to look up into his eyes and continued, “I’m leaving for America in a few days, and I won’t be back in Korea for another 2 to 3 years.”
Junsu suddenly felt confused and terribly sick in the stomach. Everything was happening too fast between them, they didn’t have time to breathe even. Now, before any final decisions were made, Yoochun’s suddenly moving away? To America? None of this made any sense to him at all.
“Su, are you ok?” Yoochun asked concerned.
He shook his head lightly, “I’m fine, it’s just … I’m a bit surprised is all.”
“Honestly, it came as a surprise for me too.”
“… Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe what he need is time apart from each other, just until things cool down around here” he said saddened.
“Why does it seem like you’re doing this reluctantly?”
“I’m not, just the thought of you moving so far away …” Junsu’s lips quivered slightly as more tears made their way down his cheeks.
Yoochun came around and embraced him tightly, “please, don’t cry.”
“I can’t … don’t go …” he pleaded, clutching on to his shirt with his right hand.
Yoochun grasped his arms firmly before kissing his forehead, “this isn’t goodbye. I’m going to come back for you. All you have to do is promise that you’ll wait for me.”
Junsu glanced up at him with tear-stained cheeks, “I’m sorry, I can’t promise you anything.”
Yoochun forced a smile before letting him go. “When I return, I’ll come back with the motivation to change Yunho and JaeJoong’s mind about me. I’m not giving up on us, or rather, I refuse to.”
“But, what if -”
“Shh” he placed his finger on Junsu’s lips, “I don’t want to hear it. They’re going to change their minds.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Yoochun grinned at him, “I’ll prove it to you once I come back. They have to agree to us. One day … one day I’m going to show them just how much I really have changed and how much I do love you.”
“Yoochun …”
“It’s time for the tears to stop coming now, don’t you think?” he chuckled as he swiped his thumb across Junsu’s left cheek.
He threw himself in Yoochun’s arms and hugged him tightly. “I really am sorry Yoochun.”
Yoochun rubbed his back up and down soothingly, “I know you are, and I understand. You want to protect Jae and I don’t blame you for that. He is your brother after all. I just hope all that we’re sacrificing right now will be worth it, that hopefully sooner or later they’ll come to realize that I’m not playing games with them. This is real, something I wish I could hold on to forever, someone like you.”
Outside the door, Yunho and JaeJoong were both leaning against one another, eavesdropping on everything and the two were saying. Junsu wasn’t the only one feeling guilty as this point, JaeJoong too began to understand the risks his brother was taking for him and wondered if he should do the same.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Yunho, what are we going to do?”
“What do you mean? What could we do?”
“… Junsu’s only doing this because of me” JaeJoong said, feeling at fault here.
“Jae” Yunho told him, holding the sides of his face with both hands, “Yoochun brought this onto his own self. He needs to see that people like him need to be punished for their wrongdoings. If I could I’d give it to him good myself. This is probably what’s best for everyone now.”
One of the twins cried out from the master bedroom and Yunho went off to go calm the baby down. “I’ll be right back.”
JaeJoong nodded and remained in the kitchen, moving slowly as he mounted to cleaning up the dishes from dinnertime. He scrubbed a few plates before his mind drifted back towards Junsu and Yoochun.
‘Can I really deal with Yoochun around again? Has he really changed for Junsu?’
Just then, the bedroom door creaked open and Yoochun walked out. When JaeJoong looked up and saw him, he stared at him dumbfounded and accidentally dropped one of the dishes back into the sink, causing Yoochun jumped in surprise. He turned to look back at JaeJoong, their eyes meeting briefly.
Yoochun suddenly began walking towards his direction and JaeJoong stayed frozen in his spot. When they were standing face to face, Yoochun opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out at first.
“I’m sorry JaeJoong. I really am. I actually … I was stupid to have done that to you then because you didn’t deserve any of it. You were always so kind and patient towards me even though I treated you differently. I sincerely regret doing all of it” he told him.
JaeJoong noticed his eyes were slightly red. ‘Was he … crying?’
“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but I do hope someday when you look back at this moment, you’ll know that I really have changed and that I’m truly sorry for hurting you the way I did.”
‘Do you mean that? Could I … trust you again? Is it safe for me to take the risk?''
“Then, I guess I’ll get going now.”
The same moment Yoochun turned to leave was the same time Yunho returned back from caring after In-Su. He shot Yoochun a sharp look before making his way around him towards JaeJoong, placing his hand on the small of his back.
“I hope you won’t be causing us anymore trouble from now on” Yunho told him.
“You can rest assure, I won’t be here for a while, so there’s no reason to gang up on me any longer. And also, I’ll give you a word of advice. Don’t do anything stupid you’ll repent later on.”
“Is that from said experience?”
“Yeah, it is. Not everyone gets a happy ending in life, and only those who do are considered the lucky ones.”
JaeJoong fisted Yunho’s shirt and nibbled on his bottom lip. He really wanted to put a stop to this, to his brother’s misery, but how could he without knowing fully that everything can be ok again if he and Yoochun are together?
“This I should’ve done a long time ago, and I’m sorry I waited this long to do it” Yoochun continued, “I’m sorry Yunho. While I’m gone though, I’d like you to do me a favor.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“Please keep Junsu happy and smiling always. Don’t let one day pass where you’re not able to see his bright personality shine. You’re probably unwilling to do this for me, but for his own sake, Junsu needs people around him. I’d hate for him to feel lonely during this period of time.”
Yoochun sighed heavily before saying, “I should get going.”
The front door opened and closed shut, allowing the man who once destroyed the couple’s lives to leave again, carrying with him a burden bigger than ever before.
“Yunho” JaeJoong whimpered, “What are we going to do? We have to do something to help.”
“We can’t do anything Jae; this is between the two of them. If time allows it, I’m sure this won’t be the last time we’ll see him. Like I said earlier, we all need time to think things through. Making rash decisions won’t help anything at this point.”
He bent his head and planted a light kiss on the inside of JaeJoong’s palms, “come’ on, let’s get ready for bed.”
“Ok, I’ll meet you there in a minute. I want to check up on Junsu.”
Yunho nodded and kissed him one last time before letting him go off to look after his brother.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Just as JaeJoong was about to knock, he put his ear close to the door and heard Junsu sobbing quietly.
‘What can I do to make things better for you Su? Nothing is easy for anyone right now. I’m sorry if I’m acting selfish, but if none of this had ever happened, I would give you my permission to see Yoochun openly whenever you wanted.’
He decided not to bother Junsu for the rest of the night and approached the bedroom where Yunho was waiting for him. JaeJoong snuggled closely with him in bed and entangled their legs together to keep warm.
“He’s right you know” JaeJoong whispered, “We are the lucky ones.”
“I know” Yunho retorted, gently stroking his hair, “and I’m grateful too. I’m never going to make the same mistake and lose you again.”
“Are you convinced that maybe Yoochun has changed?” he asked.
Yunho took a while to answer, “To some extend, yes, but I want to make sure that he’s serious about Junsu before making any final decisions.”
“Junsu and him really like each other you know.”
Yunho rolled on top of him and began grazing his lips down JaeJoong’s neck, “let’s not talk about them anymore. I just want us to focus on each other now.”
JaeJoong giggled as he ran his fingers through Yunho’s silky hair. He tilted his head to the side, giving Yunho more room to work with, humming in pleasure when he bit down on just the right spot.
His breath got caught in his throat as the man rubbed his palm against JaeJoong’s growing erection through his pants. Yunho pressed up against it firmer and slipped his hand underneath JaeJoong’s wife-beater, fondling his nipples with his thumb, teasing him to no end.
JaeJoong groaned mildly, throwing his head back in pleasure. Yunho enjoyed the sight in front of him, lips parted, panting heavily, hair messily spread across his face, his body reacting to Yunho’s every touch.
JaeJoong felt empty when Yunho removed his hands from where they were and secretly anticipated what was to come when the man untied JaeJoong’s pants, gliding the fabric down his legs. Yunho lower himself down, pushing his legs apart as far as they would go.
In one quick movement, he engulfed JaeJoong’s cock, making slurping sounds as he bobbed his head up and down his length. He ignored the feeling to gag when the bulging cock hit the back of his throat repeatedly once he saw the look of satisfaction embedded on his beloved’s face.
JaeJoong’s muscles contracted, and he moaned uncontrollably when he was nearing his edge. Yunho’s sped up his pace before he unloaded his cum all over the bed sheets. He fisted Yunho’s hair and yanked him upwards for a kiss.
“I love you so much …” he panted, “and I don’t care what others say anymore, you’re mine from now until the end of time.”
JaeJoong smiled up at him, “and your feelings won’t change?”
“God, never. No matter how old we get in the future, I’m never going to leave your side.”
Yunho embraced the latter tightly and pecked him lightly on the nose, “I can’t let you go Jae.”
“You don’t have to; I want to stay with you always too.”
“We should probably get some sleep.”
JaeJoong entwined their hands together, “but I’m not really tired.”
“Then what will make you tired?”
“Have sex with me” he said bluntly.
“Now?”
“Listen, don’t start something if you can’t finish it. Besides, I know you want it just as bad.”
Yunho smirked down at him, “fine, you’re right.”
Yunho stripped himself of his clothes then and made love to JaeJoong under the covers all night long. Two sweaty bodies moved together as one in perfect harmony and sweet cries filled the room until the sun rose early the next morning.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Sorry if I was a little hard on you last night” Yunho apologized as he watched JaeJoong getting dressed after taking a shower.
“Its fine, I liked it anyways.”
He grinned at JaeJoong and was about to say something else to him until they heard a soft knock against the bedroom door.
“Umma, appa, open up” Na Young said from the other side.
JaeJoong chuckled as he unlocked the door for their daughter and welcomed her into their room.
“Hi appa” she said to Yunho on the bed. “Can you lift me up so I can sit with you?”
He smiled devilishly at JaeJoong before turning to their little girl, “sorry baby, but your umma made a mess here last night that we need to clean up.”
JaeJoong shot him an outrageous glare, and Yunho only responded with a satisfied smile.
“If we can’t play on your bed then come outside so we can play there” Na Young said impatiently.
“Ok, I’ll be there in a minute. Get everything set up in the meantime, ok?” he said to her.
She nodded at him and walked back out to wait for her parents to come join her. Once she was out of sight, JaeJoong tackled Yunho on the bed and hit him on the chest hard.
“I can’t believe you just told her that!”
“Oh come’ on, she doesn’t even know what we’re talking about. Besides, you have to admit it’s kind of funny.”
“It’s not funny, it’s humiliating” he answered back, turning a dark shade of red.
“You’re right, I should be punished.”
JaeJoong rolled his eyes at him playfully before planting himself down on top of his stomach.
“You’re terrible, you know that?”
“And you’re amazing in bed.”
“Stop that!”
“I want a kiss” Yunho told him and puckered his lips.
“No.”
“Come’ on, please~?”
“You’re mean.”
“Fine, I’m sorry. Now can we kiss?”
JaeJoong shot him a half smile before leaning down and kissing his lips while grinding up against him agonizingly slow. Yunho grunted and urged him to go faster, but JaeJoong refused to comply.
“Jae, please, don’t tease.”
“You tease me all the time; you even humiliate me in front of our daughter. This doesn’t make us even yet.”
“O-ok, I won’t do it anymore, just -”
“Umma, appa!” Na Young shouted from the hall.
JaeJoong and Yunho stopped what they were doing immediately and scurried out of bed to see what was going on. When they met up with Na Young, she wore on a curious expression and stood outside Junsu’s bedroom.
“Did Uncle Su leave already?”
“Leave? Why would he leave?” Yunho asked confused.
“I don’t know; I can’t find him anywhere” she answered innocently.
The two exchanged uneasy glances; and JaeJoong was already ahead of Yunho as he stumbled forward and pushed open the door of his room fully.
“She’s right Yunho” he said anxiously, noticing that the bed felt cold and had been left untouched all night, “Junsu’s gone.”