[FIC] Love Me Twice (… because I just can’t let you go) [20/??]
~Chapter Twenty~
For the next few days, Yunho and JaeJoong were busy running after the twins. With the nonstop crying, it was like double trouble. When one of them started wailing, not long after would the other twin start doing the same. For nights now, JaeJoong wasn’t able to get a mere four hours of sleep. He knew Yunho was doing the best he could with helping out also, but JaeJoong was soon beginning to think that two people alone couldn’t take care of a household with 3 young kids.
“If I knew taking care of kids was this much work, I probably would’ve though twice about having these two at the same time” JaeJoong told Yunho one afternoon after they had finally put the two boys to sleep. “Was Na Young ever this much work?”
“Compared to them, Na Young was an angel” Yunho sighed.
“Well, we can look at the bright side of things.”
“What bright side?”
“The fact that your so good at changing diapers” JaeJoong chuckled.
Yunho laughed along with him before resting his head on his lap and closing his eyes. JaeJoong ran his fingers through his hair gently, causing Yunho to groan in satisfaction.
“Tired?”
He nodded, “you too?”
“Of course.”
“I don't know about you, but I feel like I haven’t seen Na Young in days.”
“I know, I wonder what she’s doing now … you don’t think she feels a little left out do you?”
“There’s only one way to find out” Yunho said, getting up from his place and making his way down the hallway to her bedroom.
“Hey sweetie” Yunho greeted her as they entered in quietly, “What are you doing?”
“Just playing with my dolls” she murmured.
JaeJoong and Yunho exchanged worrisome glances when Na Young didn’t look up at them as she answered.
“Honey, are you ok?” JaeJoong asked, carefully kneeling down at her side.
As she nodded at him, Na Young's head slowly drooped down towards his shoulder on her left. Her hair was sprawled messily in front of her face and she was beginning to breathe heavily. “Na Young?”
JaeJoong quickly pressed his palm against her cheeks and forehead, and sure enough, Na Young had a fever.
“She’s sick” he told Yunho.
Yunho came by her side and picked her up off the floor. “Do we have anymore medicine to give her?” he asked.
“I’m not sure; I’ll go check.”
As JaeJoong went off, Yunho studied Na Young’s condition and saw tears streaming down her cheeks. How long exactly has it been since she was sick like this? In a way, Yunho was beginning to feel guilty because they had been fussing over the twins all this time instead of paying attention to her, maybe then they could have prevented her sickness from getting this bad.
“There isn’t any more” JaeJoong announced, rejoining them in the room.
“Alright, here” he passed Na Young over to him, “watch her for a few minutes, I’ll run out and get some.”
JaeJoong nodded at him before Yunho rushed out of the house quickly towards the drugstore.
“Come’ mere sweetie, how about resting for a while, hm?” he said soothingly, tucking her in to bed.
“Umma” she croaked out.
JaeJoong’s heart sincerely went out to her. He gave her hand a tight squeeze and kissed it gently. “Don’t worry, umma’s not going anywhere. I’m staying right here with you.”
“Umma” she repeated, “umma …”
“Shh, it’s ok” he comforted, running his thumb past her forehead. “It’s ok, don’t cry. You’ll be all better soon.”
She clutched on to JaeJoong’s shirt until he came to lie in bed with her. JaeJoong put his arms protectively around her and cradled her to sleep. “Umma …”
*~*~*~*~*~*
“There you are” Yoochun stated as he jogged down to the far end of the aisle where Junsu was busy restacking a shelf full of spices. “I’ve been trying to call you for the past 3 days. For a while it seemed like you were trying to avoid me” he said saddened.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just I’ve been really busy lately with work and all that I didn’t have the time to go and call you” Junsu said apologetically, gazing deep into his eyes.
“Is everything alright with you Su? You seem kind of … well, you look a little drained out.”
“I’m fine, really” he told him. Though in reality, Junsu was far from fine.
Yoochun stood behind him and carefully slid his arms around his waist, bringing a smile to Junsu’s face. His lips brushed against the back of his neck as he tightened his hold on him. Junsu’s hand flew up to clutch the back of Yoochun’s neck as he guided him towards his own lips.
He turned around fully so they were now face to face and kissed Yoochun with more passion. Yoochun nibbled on his bottom lip as he pressed their bodies closer together. Though Junsu was enjoying all of this, he found it hard to push away the sick feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach.
Pulling away slowly, Junsu cautiously rested his hands on his chest, earning him a questioning look from Yoochun. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, “It’s nothing, I’m just feeling a little dizzy.”
“Maybe you should take a break from work” Yoochun suggested.
“I’m almost done; besides, I wanna finish unloading this box more before calling it a day.”
“I’ll wait for you to finish then. I’ll take you to my place so we can eat dinner and maybe catch a movie I rented for the night?”
“Sure” he smiled.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“You know this is all our fault right?” JaeJoong sighed.
Yunho placed his arm around his shoulder and pulled him down to his chest, “I know, I feel just as bad.”
“If we’d been paying more attention to her just as we have toward the twins none of this would’ve happened.”
“Well, it happened already, so really, there’s not much we can do about it now.”
“But still” he grumbled, “She’s too small to be getting sick like that.”
Yunho chuckled at him, “Na Young has been getting sick like that since she was four months old. It’ll go away eventually … hey, how about I make us an early dinner so we can sleep early? We might as well take advantage of the time we have now before it gets disrupted again.”
JaeJoong nodded, and Yunho kissed the top of his head before strolling towards the kitchen. As Yunho was washing and cutting up some vegetables, he announced that he would go check up on the kids and Yunho told him to go ahead.
The first room he went to was the twins. He stooped down between In-Su and Ji Hoo’s cribs and caressed their cheeks gingerly. JaeJoong noticed In-Su was awake; yet, he was lying down quietly, gazing around the room curiously. JaeJoong made sure to pay special attention to In-Su and looked for any signs of him wheezing or anything like that. There was none, and he sighed out in relief to know that at least 2/3 of his babies were ok.
Shutting the door quietly, he walked over to Na Young’s room and pressed his hand around her face and neck. For now, it seemed like her temperature had subsided, but you never know, fevers have a way of shooting right back up again. He kissed her on the forehead before exiting the room and uniting with Yunho in the kitchen.
“They ok?” he asked.
“Yup, they’re fine.”
“And you?”
“I’ll live … hopefully.”
Yunho grinned at him before sprinkling water from the pipe in his face. JaeJoong looked at him baffled and did the same back to him. They ended up getting into a water fight, and before they knew it, the two of them were completely soaked from head to toe.
“You do know you’re cleaning this up right?” JaeJoong laughed.
“I don’t mind” he retorted, bringing his chin up and diving in for a kiss.
JaeJoong wrapped his arms around his shoulder, pressing his lips more firmly against Yunho’s.
“I need a shower” JaeJoong announced, breaking away from him.
“I’ll join you.”
“No!” he said suddenly.
Yunho looked at him skeptically, “why not?”
JaeJoong felt guilty when the look of hurt crossed over Yunho’s face. “I mean …”
Yunho stepped closer to him and grabbed the hem of his wet shirt, carefully lifting it up from JaeJoong’s body. He didn’t get far because JaeJoong had stopped him right above his crotch.
“Don’t” he whispered.
“It can’t be that bad.”
“It is, and until the scar isn’t gone completely I don’t want you to see …”
“I love you for you, not the way you look.”
JaeJoong turned his face from him and began walking away, “you don’t understand, you never will.”
“Then tell me what I don’t know.”
“… I’m embarrassed for you to see me like this. I don’t want you to think any differently of me.”
“You know me better Jae; I’d never do that to you.” Yunho said grabbing his shoulders and turning him back around to face him.
He held the sides of his face and kissed him for a long time. At first, JaeJoong showed no response, but Yunho moved his fingers and grasped his chin tightly, causing JaeJoong to return the act.
“Since when did you become so compassionate and understanding?” JaeJoong laughed a little through tears.
“A lot has happened when you weren’t here.”
“You’re telling me.”
JaeJoong let himself fall in to Yunho’s warm embrace and he drew lines across his drenched shirt outlining his toned chest.
“You’ve changed too from since that day” Yunho whispered.
“You don’t like my change?”
“No, I love it. It brings back the old memories again.”
He smiled at Yunho’s comment and tugged on his arm towards the bathroom. “We should replay those old memories again then.”
Yunho grinned at him as he locked the bathroom door shut. Although it didn’t matter, no one in the house was awake anyways to disturb them. Yunho prepared a bubble bath for them, and no matter how many times JaeJoong tried to tell him that they were too old for this, Yunho convinced him otherwise.
He got in the tub first and JaeJoong followed shortly behind, using Yunho’s legs as his cushion. He ran his hands up and down JaeJoong’s thighs before immersing themselves in a miniscule make out session.
Yunho made sure this time to let JaeJoong know how much he loved him and that the past was in the past. Nothing would bring up those distasteful events ever again unless they themselves did. ‘What is meant will always find a way’ was Yunho’s motto. It was a great miracle indeed when JaeJoong regained his memories again, and Yunho knew for a fact that he would get his message loud and clear tonight.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The next morning, Junsu woke up to the smell of hot breakfast on the table. He made a quick run to the bathroom to freshen up before going out to eat. He greeted Yoochun with a small hug and a peck on the lips before plopping himself down on a chair and digging in to his plate of food. As Junsu was eating, his cell phone vibrated in his back pocket and he quickly answered it when he saw who the caller was.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey Su, I just called to tell you that the date’s all set" Yunho stated cheerfully.
He froze and dropped his spoon down on the floor. Yoochun gave him an odd look before picking it up for him and getting him a new one, “you ok?”
Junsu hastily covered the mouthpiece with his hand, hoping that Yunho wouldn’t make out Yoochun’s voice on the other line, and scurried out of his seat to move to another room.
“Are you still there?” Yunho asked.
“Y-yeah, what was that again?”
“I told one of my friend’s about you and he agreed to go on a date with you. It’s scheduled for tomorrow night at the Chosun restaurant for 8:00. Got it?”
“Yeah, thanks” he responded uneasily.
“Good, his name is Choi Dong-Wook. He’s a tad older than you, but I figured that wouldn’t be a problem, will it?”
“N-not at all.”
“If you have anymore questions feel free to ask. I’m in a bit of rush now so I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Ok, bye hyung.”
Junsu closed his phone with shaky fingers as he let out a long sigh of relief.
“Who was that?” Yoochun asked coming into the room.
“No one really, just Yunho” he said, trying his best to sound casual, but even to him, his voice sounded hoarse and uneven.
“What’s going on Su?” he asked concerned. "And don't tell me it's nothing.”
Junsu felt like his heart was about to burst open any minute now. He hated lying like this, especially to Yoochun, the only person who could see right through him.
His throat felt constricted as he began, “I think we need to talk, but please, please don’t tell me I told you so.”
“Why would I say that?”
Yoochun took a seat besides Junsu and rubbed his back soothingly when he rested his head on his shoulder. “You know I love you right?”
“I know, I love you too” Yoochun whispered.
“And the last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you.” Junsu brushed away a few tears that slipped down his cheeks, “the only reason I’m telling you this is because I don’t want to put us at risk. I don’t want you to find this out later and end up hating me.”
“Junsu, tell me, what is it?” he urged him on.
He took in one last, deep breath, “Yoochun … Jae-hyung thinks I’m lonely and he’s trying to set me up with someone.”
“What?” he said, staring at Junsu with a perplexed expression.
“Please don’t be mad, I already tried telling them that I -”
“You didn’t tell them you were seeing someone already, did you?” he cut him off.
“I-I couldn’t. Jae-hyung would start asking me who it is and would want to meet you.”
“Su” he said in a low voice, trying his best to keep calm, “don’t you think this is the perfect time to tell them that I’m who you want to be with and who you are with at the moment?”
“… I can’t, at least not now.”
“When then? When you break a couple of other guys’ hearts and realize ‘ok, enough is enough?’”
Junsu looked at him, taken aback, “Try and be reasonable Yoochun.”
“I am being reasonable; in fact, I’ve been more understanding to the situation more than you have. You’re just not listening to me.”
“What do you mean I’m not listening?”
“I don’t understand why we can’t be openly about it now to them. They’ll find out sooner or later, what difference does it make if its now or if its tomorrow?”
“Jae-hyung already has a lot to deal with; our news just might be the thing that pushes him over the edge.”
“Yunho and Jae will come to terms with our relationship when they’re ready. What’s the real reason for stalling?”
Junsu’s lips quivered as he answered, “I’m afraid."
Yoochun grasped his shoulders harshly and turned him to face him, “If its one thing I won’t allow, it’s for them to separate us. I’m not going to let you go again, I promise you that much.”
“That’s not a guarantee” he said shaking his head.
“Maybe, maybe not, but I’m not giving up without a fight and you shouldn’t either.”
“… I’m going tomorrow night to meet him” he spoke almost in a whisper.
“Please don’t Junsu, don’t go.”
“It’s not like any real feelings will develop between me and some stranger I don’t even know.”
“Maybe not to you, but to him yes. It’s a possibility” Yoochun pointed out.
“I should go” Junsu said quickly, wanting this conversation to come to an end, “besides; my shift starts in another thirty minutes.”
He stood up and walked a few steps only before Yoochun reached out and grabbed his arm. “I’m begging you Su, please, don’t go tomorrow. If you truly love me you’d do that much for me.”
“Your still not getting it, are you?”
“What else is there to get?”
“Because of what you did before, it makes it even harder to confess everything that’s going on between us” he snapped.
“I haven’t raised my hand once at anyone in over a year. You don’t really believe that I still do that, do you?” Yoochun asked, feeling a bit hurt.
“I don’t believe it” he mumbled, “but they might still think so and that you’re dangerous and a bad influence for me.”
“For crying out loud Su, Yunho and JaeJoong are going to have to realize sooner or later that you’re a grown man who can make decisions for yourself, not some helpless child without parents who has to be babied by his older brother for the rest of his life. That’s not who you are!”
“… I really should get going” Junsu stated, attempting to pry Yoochun’s hand off him.
“Stay a while longer.”
“I can’t.”
“I don’t get you anymore. Why are you making this harder than it has to be?” Yoochun said in a low voice.
He gripped Junsu’s arm tighter to prevent him from leaving and he struggled to break free from his clutches.
“Let go, your hurting me” he said in a pained voice.
Yoochun’s hand shook as his fingers slowly loosened up one by one. “If you still don’t trust me 100%, what are you still doing here?”
He winced at Yoochun’s question, “What do you mean?”
“A relationship is supposed to be based on trust. If you don’t trust me completely, why are we even together in the first place?”
Junsu gazed at him with an aching heart, “I love you. Isn’t that enough?”
“Sometimes it isn’t Junsu … maybe it is better if you just leave.”
Junsu’s eyes began to burn from holding back his tears for so long, “Yoochun, I’m -”
“Please don’t say anything more” he pleaded, “just go.”
Junsu wanted to reach out for him, to hug him, kiss him even. There was so much he wanted Yoochun to know, all the confusion he felt, the pain he was going though, everything. In a way, he regretted telling Yoochun about this. If only he knew it might to lead to misunderstanding to come between them, Junsu would’ve found a way to deal with the lying and running around all by himself.
“If I leave … I’m not coming back.”
Yoochun didn’t even try to stop him, and instead, walked out of the room quietly.
Junsu’s tears streamed down his face like an overflowing river. He shut his eyes closed in the hopes that this was all just a bad dream he would wake up from any minute now. He knew for a fact that even though he was threatening Yoochun, he didn’t mean anything he said. He would always come back to him even if he decided to let him go today for real.
“Yoochun” he yelled suddenly, running after him, “please don’t be like this.”
Junsu embraced him as tight as he could, burying his face in his shoulder. “I love you.”
Yoochun too wrapped his arms around him, “let’s make a deal then.”
Junsu nodded, “anything.”
“You call your brother and cancel all the plans they arranged for you for tomorrow, and I’ll still be here by your side like I am now.”
He was hesitant for a moment before finally agreeing to his conditions.
Yoochun grinned down at him, “I don’t have a problem with waiting a bit longer to tell them, just don’t go behind my back and see other people just because you feel like you have to, ok?
Junsu smiled back at him, “ok.”
---
A/N: I apologize if this chapter seemed a little boring. I rewrote it over at least 7 times and it still didn't come out the way I wanted it to. And honestly, I have no idea how it came out this long. *sigh* So much problems with just one little chapter :( But yeah, I hope you guys enjoy it anyways xD