[FIC] Love Me Twice (… because I just can’t let you go) [13/??]
~Chapter Thirteen~
Yunho met up with Junsu an hour later at the fair and hurriedly asked where JaeJoong was.
“He went off somewhere looking for Na Young” he stated.
“By himself?” Yunho questioned incredulously. “How in the world could you let him go off by himself when he’s pregnant like that?” he scolded the latter.
“I-I don’t know alright! I panicked and my first instinct was to split up to look for her faster than to go together” he replied agitatedly.
Yunho was trapped yet again between looking for his daughter and looking for his husband. His life he realized had always revolved around choosing between two things that were the dearest to him. He bit his bottom lip, deciding on who was in more danger now, his pregnant husband ready to give birth any minute now or his five-year-old daughter who could easily be taken advantage of because she’s clueless about what goes on in the outside world.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do, you go look for Jae and I’ll go after Na Young. I’ll call you if I find her now hurry up and go!”
Junsu nodded slowly, allowing his words to sink in before racing across the arena to search of his brother.
*~*~*~*~*~*
As JaeJoong carried on with the search, his stomach began to ache. He stopped walking for a moment and moved over to a corner away from the crowd and leaned against the railing that looked out over a small lake. He suddenly felt nauseous, but weirdly enough, he didn’t throw up. He knelt down on the floor until he felt the pain in his lower abdominal subside a little. He took in deep breaths to level out to heartbeat, and once he figured it was back on track, he rose from the ground cautiously, only to bump into someone none other than Junsu.
“There you are hyung” he exclaimed. “What’s wrong, you don’t look too good?” he observed.
JaeJoong shook his head, “I-I’m fine, did you find her yet?”
“… Not yet” he answered saddened.
“Let’s keeping looking then, she’s bound to be here somewhere.”
Once again, they called out for Na Young, which resulted in them receiving dirty looks and weird stares from the people around them, but obviously the two didn’t mind. Na Young’s safety was at stake here, and JaeJoong just wanted to be reassured that she was alright.
37 minutes later
Junsu stopped walking when he felt his phone vibrating in his back pocket. He pulled it out then and slid it open, relieved to hear from Yunho that he found Na Young and the location they’re waiting for them.
He shut his phone close after their conversation ended and turned to JaeJoong with a smile.
“Yunho found Na Young! They’re waiting for us by the photo booths.”
JaeJoong mind froze at the mention of Yunho’s name. Was Yunho really here helping them look for Na Young all this time? How? Why? So many questions ran through his mind, but his first reaction was solace to know Na Young was ok, even if she was with Yunho at the moment.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Did you have a fun birthday today?” Yunho asked his daughter who was sitting quietly on his lap, cradling her in his protective arms once more.
Every now and then he would plant sweet kisses on her forehead. He missed having his family around, he missed Na Young being her cheerful self around him. Everything in his life has changed so drastically from a year ago; all he wanted was for time to turn backwards so he can redo everything all over again.
Na Young only nodded her head against his chest. “When are you coming home appa?”
Yunho gazed down at her, unsure about how to answer the question. He gave her another peck against her cold cheek. “I’m not sure honey.”
“I miss you”, she mumbled and traced her small finger on the lines in his palms.
“Appa got you something” he announced in an attempt to distract her and she picked up her head and looked at him curiously. Yunho reached into his back pocket and pulled out a silver heart-shaped necklace. Na Young watched the piece of jewelry intently and her eyes lit up when Yunho placed it in her small hands.
“You see, it has you’re name written on the front, Na Young.”
A smile slowly met her lips as Yunho helped to put the necklace on her.
“Thank you appa” she said and glided her arms around his neck for a small hug.
She released him three seconds later and turned back to face the crowd of people making their way in and out of the fair’s entrance. She spotted JaeJoong and her uncle headed towards them from afar and forcefully pushed herself off of Yunho with tears streaming down her cheeks. Yunho called out for the little girl, but when he looked up and saw the two advancing towards them, he too stood up from his seat, uncertain as to whether he should approach JaeJoong or not.
Yunho hadn’t seen him in nearly three weeks, and he so badly wanted things to go back to the way they used to be before all these problems and insecurities began pouring themselves into the couple’s lives.
Yunho mustered up enough courage when he saw the way JaeJoong held onto their daughter worriedly, checking her to make sure she was ok and unharmed. He walked carefully to JaeJoong’s direction, but to his surprise, the latter turned his back to Yunho and began walking away. Yunho made an attempt to get his attention, but JaeJoong simply paid him none. He hasn’t even seen JaeJoong look up at him once since they arrived.
“Jae” Yunho said calmly as he grasped his wrist lightly to turn him around to face him.
JaeJoong obediently turned to him without putting up a fight. Yunho’s touch had sent shivers down his spine; he’d so badly missed the feeling of being handled by Yunho. The look in his eyes had caused JaeJoong to realize that if he had taken a second look, he would go back to the man in a heartbeat.
Yunho noticed JaeJoong’s complexion was paler than usual and that he’d gain a bit of weight since the last time he’d seen him. He lifted his fingers to brush the hair out of Jae’s face, but he quickly turned his face from Yunho.
“Don’t” he whispered, “why are you here?” JaeJoong asked without looking up at him.
“I was worried when I heard from Junsu you lost Na Young, and I also wanted to wish her a happy birthday.”
“Oh” he replied shortly. “Is that all?”
Yunho contemplated his question for a moment, “And I thought maybe we could talk for a few minutes.”
JaeJoong shook his head at him, “I don’t have time for you right now.”
“Jae, please” he began, “don’t be like this.”
Little droplets of rain were beginning to make their way down the stormy skies. JaeJoong wrapped Na Young in his arms tighter than before and proceeded backwards.
“It’s getting late, we should get going.”
“Jae, I can’t … I can’t stop thinking about you, just allow me to explain everything to you once and -”
“There’s nothing to talk about Yunho.”
Just hearing JaeJoong call him by his name gave Yunho a little bit of hope.
“Yes there is, please Jae” Yunho begged, “let’s talk things out.”
Yunho made another attempt to touch him, to prevent him from going off any further, but JaeJoong made sure to keep his distance from him.
“Just go home; I’m tired of all this drama. I don’t want to go back to you just yet.”
Yunho didn’t make another effort after hearing this as he felt like a knife pierced itself through his heart. Why wouldn’t JaeJoong allow him to explain himself? It had already been so long, Yunho didn’t understand why he wouldn’t give in to him already?
Yunho saw JaeJoong taking Na Young and proceeding out of the fair. He wanted to go towards them again and work things out, but his legs felt like jelly. He forced himself to move them on his own, but a hand suddenly halted his actions.
“He needs more time” Junsu told him.
“How long more, I need to know how long it will take Su?” he pleaded in despair. “The babies are due in less than 6 weeks, what else am I suppose to do?”
“I’m not sure; I mean I can’t force hyung to go back to you, that’s all on you now.”
Like his brother, Junsu too turned his back to him and made his way towards the car they came in.
He hadn’t realized it, but tears slowly made their way down Yunho’s face as he broke down into more tears. He wanted to have JaeJoong by his side again, to hold him in his arms lovingly and whisper that he loves him and always will. There just had to be a way for him to forgive and forget his stupid mistake he’s made in the past, there just had to.
The rain had begun to come down harder now, and lightening flashed through the sky, indicating that thunder would follow up soon. Yunho felt cold and wet, but as long as JaeJoong and Na Young weren’t near him, he couldn’t care less about anything anymore.
He shakily picked up his phone from the ground and dialed a familiar number well known to his memory. He pressed the receiver against his ear and waited patiently for the other line to get picked up.
“Hello?”
“Forget everything I said before … I-I need you’re help.”
“Yunho, are you sure?”
He nodded, regardless of whether the other could see him or not.
“Please Min; I feel like I don’t have any other choice left.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll do whatever I can to help; actually, I think I already know what we can do.”
“Will it work?”
“I’ll do as much as I can to make it work, but the rest is up to Jae and you to decide where to go from there.”
“… Let’s do it.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Hyung”, Junsu asked as he entered the bedroom where JaeJoong was with Na Young sleeping soundly besides him. “You alright?"
The latter adjusted the pillow beneath his head before answering, “Yeah, I’m just a bit tired.”
“I don’t blame you” Junsu chuckled, “we’ve had once crazy night tonight.”
Junsu passed his hand gently over Na Young’s head as to not wake her up. “Thank goodness she’s alright.”
“I know, I don’t know what would’ve happened if we didn’t find her.”
“… You mean Yunho?” he corrected.
JaeJoong gazed up at him slowly, “what?”
“You mean you don’t know what would’ve happened if Yunho didn’t find her?”
The elder sighed, “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean … staying away from Yunho all this time. Should I really be doing this, especially to Na Young?”
“I’m not sure; I don’t want to tell you what I think you should do because I could be wrong. All I’m gonna say is put yourself in Na Young’s place, think what she thinks, see what she sees.”
Junsu patted him on the leg, “get some sleep hyung, you need it” he told him before exiting the room.
Once he was gone, JaeJoong heaved out a long, exasperated sigh. He felt so lost, and after seeing Yunho today, he was tempted to back to him then, but knowing Changmin was still around made him feel slightly uneasy. He knew needed to come to a solution and fast, because just like Yunho, he didn’t want to birth the twins if Yunho wasn’t there by his side.
“Appa …. don’t leave …. Appa …..” Na Young suddenly groaned in her sleep.
JaeJoong looked down at her, feeling his heart aching for her.
He had made up his mind then that after the next week, even if Changmin was still around, even if all odds were against them, for Na Young and the twin’s sake alone, he was going to go back to Yunho.
*~*~*~*~*~*
A few days later
“Come’ on sweetie; let’s get you ready to go out” JaeJoong announced, sweeping his little daughter up in his arms and carrying her back to the bedroom.
“Where are we going umma?” she asked in a high pitched voice.
“We, my dear, are going to the mall. Don’t you want to help me pick out some things for the babies when they come?”
Na Young nodded at him, “like what though?”
“Things like food, clothes, cribs, strollers, milk formulas, bibs, toys, and so much more.”
“If you buy toys for the babies, can you buy me some too?” she asked him innocently with glistening eyes.
JaeJoong let out a small chuckle as he reached to unbutton her pajamas from the night before, "sure."
When he worked his way up from the bottom to the top, he realized that Na Young had a silver necklace hanging from her neck. He took the small, silver heart in his hands and studied it for a moment, noticing that Na Young’s name had been engraved on its surface. JaeJoong wondered then why he never noticed her wearing it before.
“Where did you get this from?”
“Appa gave it to me on the night of my birthday.”
JaeJoong studied the jewelry in his hands for a moment, rubbing his thumb across the surface where their daughter’s name was imprinted. JaeJoong nervously pressed his lips together as he opened the locket. He let out a small gasp when he layed his eyes on what was presented before him.
On one side of the locket was a picture of Yunho and JaeJoong smiling happily on their wedding day, but the other side of the locket was left empty. JaeJoong figured a picture of their 3 kids was supposed to go there after the twins were born.
He hastily closed the locket and went back to getting Na Young ready. After slipping on a new clean shirt and pants, he combed her hair and placed hairpins in her hair to keep the strands in place.
“There, all done” JaeJoong cheered. “Now go wait out in the living room with uncle Su while umma gets ready ok?”
Na Young nodded at him and took her doll from the bed before proceeding out the door. JaeJoong followed behind her to lock the door shut and returned to his luggage to pick out an outfit to wear.
Tears slowly welled up in his eyes as he brought his hand up to his chest. These past few weeks without Yunho hurt so much, and seeing him again a few days before had made him realize that he indeed wanted to return back to him more than ever.
He wanted to be by his side again because for one, he was still deeply in love with Yunho. He wanted to, yet, something in his heart said otherwise. JaeJoong wanted Yunho to learn the reason for leaving him wasn’t because Yunho had been standing him up all this time, but because he felt as if Yunho was distancing himself from him slowly. The love and protection he received from the man was slowly fading away, and JaeJoong wondered why it had taken Yunho so long to notice that he had been pushing them farther apart day by day?
JaeJoong wished he had the ability to remember his past again, but could only wonder now if Yunho had been the same long ago. He pushed the idea out of his mind and decided against it, there could be no way Yunho took him for granted like he did these past few months.
Five minutes later, he returned back out to Na Young and Junsu, and they all left together and went their separate ways - Junsu to work and JaeJoong and his daughter to the mall.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“… and then he was all … Junsu, are you even listening to me?”
Junsu’s head perked up at the sound of his name, “Sorry Yoochun, did you say something?”
“Haha, very funny” he replied sarcastically, “But really, what wrong’s?”
Junsu sighed, “I’m just really worried about Jae-hyung. He seems to be over-thinking his separation with Yunho.”
“And … that’s bad?”
“Well, no. I honestly think he should go back to hyung before he and the twins get hurt.”
“Did you tell him that?”
Junsu shook his head, “what if it’s not right? What if my suggestion gets him hurt even more? I worry for him a lot, mainly because he’s my only family I have left.”
“I think the two of you are over-thinking this whole separation thing” Yoochun commented.
Junsu gazed up at him, “why do you say that?”
Yoochun chuckled as he placed his arm around Junsu’s shoulder, “Su, there’s only so much you can do. I think the only person who can make things right is Yunho. We’re just going to have to be patient until he can show Jae what he wants him to.”
Junsu stood directly in front of Yoochun and leaned into him, allowing his head to rest peacefully in his embrace.
“I just want hyung to be happy.”
“He will be soon.”
“And I just want to be happy too.”
“And what exactly makes you happy?”
Junsu didn’t answer him, but instead, enveloped his arms around his waist, pulling their bodies closer to one another, and secretly wishing they could stay the same way they are now forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Look umma, isn’t this color pretty?”
JaeJoong’s gaze followed to where his daughter’s was, “Yes, it extremely pretty” he beamed.
“Can we get these ones then?”
“Hmm, let’s just pick three out of the seven colors they have, besides, their quite expensive” he murmured the last part mostly to himself.
“Ok, then get the pink, and the blue, and the yellow ones.”
“Good choices, I liked these best anyways” he replied, grabbing a handful of them as he placed them neatly in one corner of the shopping cart.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
Na Young nodded cutely at him, “very hungry.”
“Then let’s grab a bite to eat first before going off home.”
“Ok” she agreed, walking side by side near her mother.
After paying for everything with his credit card, JaeJoong carried five bags and gave Na Young two of lightest bags he knew she’d be able to carry towards the small diner across the street where they’d go for lunch.
“Need some help with that?” a stranger asked.
JaeJoong’s head automatically perked up at the sound of the voice, but because he was straining to lift the baggages in his hands, his eyes only made it halfway to stare at his feet.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Are you sure? You look like you could use a hand or two?”
He shook his head at the man, “I’m ok, honest.”
Without waiting for JaeJoong to further accept his offer, the man took the shopping bags out of his grasp.
“W-what are you - Changmin?”
Changmin smiled down at him, “long time no see. Mind if we go someplace to talk for awhile?”
JaeJoong stared at him wide-eyed and his mouth dropped open. So many emotions swarm through his mind at that moment. Why was Changmin here? What could he possibly want to talk with him about? How did he even know he was here to begin with? But more importantly, had he only come back to make his relationship with Yunho even worse?
The only way to find out all the answers to his questions was to take the risk and talk to him. But JaeJoong wondered also if it was worth it.
“I remember you” Na Young giggled besides them.
Changmin chuckled at her, “I remember you too.”
He glanced back from Na Young to JaeJoong, waiting for hear his response. However, he never got one.
“Where are you guys headed?”
“To lunch” Na Young replied on behalf of JaeJoong.
“Sounds good, lunch is on me then.”
“Actually, that isn’t needed, thanks anyways” JaeJoong said hurriedly as he grabbed his shopping bags back from him.
“Sorry, I was only trying to help.”
“Well nothing personal, but I don’t need you’re help.”
“Jae wait! There’s something important I need to discuss with you” he said catching him by his arm before he had a chance to go off far.
“Can it wait?”
“There isn’t much time left for that.”
JaeJoong turned back to him quizzically and eyed him up and down. Judging by Changmin’s expression, JaeJoong guessed that his reason for showing up could either be counted as a good sign or a bad one.
“Come on” Changmin urged again, “let me explain everything. I promise, it won’t take long.”
When he took back the shopping bags from JaeJoong again, he realized he had no choice but to follow along reluctantly with Na Young.
---
A/N: Sorry for the long chapter, but I really didn't want to split it into two parts^^ But hopefully it should make up for the 2 ½ months I’ve been away for, maybe? :) And just so you know, something big is about to happen again soon >__<