watch something, then do something, then think about something
watch watch WATCH!
But don't read any plot summaries or reviews or anything. My dad rented the movie yesterday, and I, being so bored and not wanting to do homework or sleep (or even eat dinner, for that matter) saw it with him. I knew virtually nothing about the movie, considering I had never even heard of it, but my dad did tell me two things:
1. Amin has confessed to eating human flesh.
2. Amin loves Scotland.
Yeah, it was another cold, hard slap back into reality and I love it when movies, or books, or music does that to me. It pulls me out of the small Californian bubble I love to retreat into when life becomes too much to bear and thrusts me out into the world, where reality is no longer my reality but another one I know only vaguely about.
It was a good movie. I recommend it highly.
My stress levels have now decreased somewhat, because I got my QUEST requirements done, I've mailed in my legal documents to UCSD and an abnormal schedule this week has given me extra time to do the Stats homework that was due Friday. However, AP testing begins next week and surprise surprise, I haven't even started studying. I know I'm not going to do well. I've done much better than my, or anyone else's expectations, in the past. But this year, with QUEST and college enrollment and graduation, there's just no energy left in me.
Or perhaps there is no incentive.
But I will study, at the minimum for an hour the day before, and I will suffer through those hideously long and boring tests.
Something a nurse said to me while I was volunteering at the hospital made me think about something. The conversation went like this:
[gibberish, in my years]
-Uhhh...what?
-You don't speak Punjabi?
-No.
-Oh, then what do you speak?
-Tamil.
-Oh really? Where are you from?
-India. Tamil Nadu.
-Oh I love how you introduced yourself as an Indian. Other kids these days, I ask them where they're from and they say "America!" It's ridiculous.
This led me thinking...what the hell am I? This is classic inner struggle of The Immigrant but I think that the fact that it is so common undermines the impact it has on us and on our lives.
I wish I could explain it now but I've sat five minutes, just staring at the blank screen, thinking about how I can effectively convey the feeling of being two things at once. I've typed some things, then erased them with the all-too-convenient 'Delete' key and still, there is nothing, nothing, I can think up of to say this. I need examples. Yet, there are none. It's a feeling, something strangely inherent but unfamiliar simultaneously, something that's possibly not rooted in anything except for my own attitudes, stereotypes and biases of the two races.
But it all goes down to this:
Why do I introduce myself as 'Indian'?
I've been in America for 13 years. In India, it was five. I feel nothing towards the Indian culture, except maybe some slight spite and disgust. I am not an Indian patriot. I cherish traditional American values like freedom.
So why would I do it? I've never thought about this before, so this just makes it all too confusing. There is no answer for me, no guidance to an answer. Nothing.
Man, has this entry been random.
But don't read any plot summaries or reviews or anything. My dad rented the movie yesterday, and I, being so bored and not wanting to do homework or sleep (or even eat dinner, for that matter) saw it with him. I knew virtually nothing about the movie, considering I had never even heard of it, but my dad did tell me two things:
1. Amin has confessed to eating human flesh.
2. Amin loves Scotland.
Yeah, it was another cold, hard slap back into reality and I love it when movies, or books, or music does that to me. It pulls me out of the small Californian bubble I love to retreat into when life becomes too much to bear and thrusts me out into the world, where reality is no longer my reality but another one I know only vaguely about.
It was a good movie. I recommend it highly.
My stress levels have now decreased somewhat, because I got my QUEST requirements done, I've mailed in my legal documents to UCSD and an abnormal schedule this week has given me extra time to do the Stats homework that was due Friday. However, AP testing begins next week and surprise surprise, I haven't even started studying. I know I'm not going to do well. I've done much better than my, or anyone else's expectations, in the past. But this year, with QUEST and college enrollment and graduation, there's just no energy left in me.
Or perhaps there is no incentive.
But I will study, at the minimum for an hour the day before, and I will suffer through those hideously long and boring tests.
Something a nurse said to me while I was volunteering at the hospital made me think about something. The conversation went like this:
[gibberish, in my years]
-Uhhh...what?
-You don't speak Punjabi?
-No.
-Oh, then what do you speak?
-Tamil.
-Oh really? Where are you from?
-India. Tamil Nadu.
-Oh I love how you introduced yourself as an Indian. Other kids these days, I ask them where they're from and they say "America!" It's ridiculous.
This led me thinking...what the hell am I? This is classic inner struggle of The Immigrant but I think that the fact that it is so common undermines the impact it has on us and on our lives.
I wish I could explain it now but I've sat five minutes, just staring at the blank screen, thinking about how I can effectively convey the feeling of being two things at once. I've typed some things, then erased them with the all-too-convenient 'Delete' key and still, there is nothing, nothing, I can think up of to say this. I need examples. Yet, there are none. It's a feeling, something strangely inherent but unfamiliar simultaneously, something that's possibly not rooted in anything except for my own attitudes, stereotypes and biases of the two races.
But it all goes down to this:
Why do I introduce myself as 'Indian'?
I've been in America for 13 years. In India, it was five. I feel nothing towards the Indian culture, except maybe some slight spite and disgust. I am not an Indian patriot. I cherish traditional American values like freedom.
So why would I do it? I've never thought about this before, so this just makes it all too confusing. There is no answer for me, no guidance to an answer. Nothing.
Man, has this entry been random.