If it's still in your mind, it's still in your heart
if it's still in your mind, it is still in your heart
hoya/nicole
angst | 464 words
When she wakes up to an empty bed each morning, she thinks of him.
When she picks out her clothes and notices the bareness of the closet, she thinks of how his clothes usually took up the entire left side.
When she has toasts for breakfast and burns them slightly, she remembers how he used to sneakily change hers with his when she wasn’t looking.
When she takes the train in the morning to work, she fails to forget about their first meeting, where they had accidentally bumped into each other. She was very late for work, and her heel had broke - not to mention her dress was ruined by the drink he was carrying, but she didn’t regret a single thing about that day.
When she buys her favourite bubble tea, she never forgets the Taro Bubble Tea he would always order. When asked once, he told her he loves it because it’s purple in colour. She had rolled her eyes at him, yet she laughed because her purple boy is adorable.
When she takes a stroll in the park, she can’t help thinking about those quiet moments they spent together, just watching the children playing and running around. “When we have kids of our own one day, let’s bring them here and fly kites with them.” She had blushed furiously, while he just cheekily grinned and squeezed her hand lightly.
When she climbs up the stairs to the apartment they used to share, she thinks of those few times when she got tipsy and he had to carry her up while listening to her gibberish at the same time. She can’t remember the things she said, but she knows he would always smile and nodded at everything she mumbled.
Her favourite smile.
When she comes home after a long day, to the place that was once hers and his, she will collapse behind the door, along with her broken heart and shamelessly cry for his presence. Back then, when she still had him, he would envelop her into his arms and they would just stay in that position, sometimes for hours long - until she feels better and tells him that she stinks. He would then laugh and tell her he doesn’t mind one bit, giving her a kiss to further prove his point.
When she goes to sleep at night, she will force her eyes to shut quickly to avoid looking at the empty space beside her. She will tune out her thoughts, so that she won't be able to hear his "Good night, beautiful" echoing in her ears.
They say, “If it’s still in your mind, it is still in your heart.”
Perhaps it’s true then.
Perhaps it’s true that Lee Howon will always have a special place in her heart.