(Untitled)

[eternal5thwheel]

HELLO, VISITORS. Welcome to the City! Before you begin, let me lay out a few simple rules.

One: Do not touch, poke, harass, pester, prod, speak to, look at, lick, or smell Marron.

Two: Do not break anything while you are here.

Three: ENJOY THIS VIDEO OF MY BEAUTIFUL BODY!

[Cue shirtless flexing. Fourth wall away.]

Comments

Johnny's manly pride will not let this stand

[greatest_pirate]

Ha ha ha! Well done, well done. However, you fail to approach the absolute pristine condition of Johnny's magnificent frame!

[eternal5thwheel]

Oh? I beg to differ... SHOW ME YOUR BEST EFFORT, THEN!

[greatest_pirate]

[Strikes an artful post with his sword]

I shall convey the superiority of Unchou Shihan Iai style!

All they need is a Alexander Armstrong and it's like the three musketeers...

[eternal5thwheel]

The beautiful Mocha signature pose has been perfected through generations!

FFFFFFFFFF

[greatest_pirate]

You look more Vanilla than Mocha, my friend. You can't surpass the blazing glory of Johnny's soul! You've concentrated on mass and foregone having a more well-proportioned build.

DYING.

[eternal5thwheel]

What nonsense is this? My proportion is impeccable! Perfection! Every muscle toned, in perfect harmony with the others! "Mass," pah. You are jealous of my remarkable definition, puny wisp!

>:]

[greatest_pirate]

Haven't you noticed something? Your look is incomplete. You're missing something important.

Re: >:]

[eternal5thwheel]

I'll humor you. What is missing?

[greatest_pirate]

[Flashes him a picture.]

Women, of course.

[eternal5thwheel]

Beauty must always be cultivated... But I find I have all I need.