random talk
Let’s get real. It’s amazing how you know you’re doing something wrong, but you still do it because it’s only harmless. No one will get hurt at the end, right? I’m out of here in seven and half months; I don’t need anything to tie me to this place. Dontcha wish there was some kind of cure for senioritis? Things are just flying around in the air, and you’re trying to keep track of what’s going on but at the same time you don’t care. You just want to fly around and enjoy your freedom. I’m just doing a bare minimum job on whatever I need to do-- school work, my two jobs, Grad school applications. Grad school? Me? I’m probably not even qualified enough for graduate school. Who in their right mind would accept me into their program? I can’t even get a grip of my own life, what makes you think I can handle grad school? Apparently people think I can. Where am I going to end up? Maybe not even Ohio, Pennsylvania, Colorado or Maryland. Maybe Texas or back to the good old Golden State. People say you have control of your own life, your destination, but you know what really has the reins? Money. As much as this sucks, y’all gotta admit it. Money. Every fricken thing costs money. To even live costs money. There’s no place on this planet where you can live without the use of money. Why am I complaining? I’m in the top 2% of richest people on this living planet and I’m worrying about money. You’d think after seeing a third-world country--or for a politically correct term, developing country-- or after serving a few missionary trips or after doing hours of community service or after fundraising so much money for the disadvantaged I’d be more grateful for what I have, for what my family has given me. Believe me, I know I am lucky; I know that I should appreciate what I have. It’s so hard to financially support all my dreams, my wishes, my goals. Lately I have been taking the time to read random political articles, and I’ve taken a special interest in the children’s health bill that was recently in the House. Bush vetoed the bill, but the House tried to override it. The bill is to cover the 10 million children that are not poor enough to qualify for Medicaid but do not make enough money for private health care. Republican Bush said that he is willing to come to a compromise, and give only so much money to cover 6 million children (which is already active) but the Democrats are asking for expansion and an increase of $35 billion dollar more over 5 years which will add nearly 4 million uninsured children to the program. The complete health care program is suppose to happen in 2012 and support 10 million children, but if the government is unable to find nearly $40 billion dollars to cover the additional 4 million children that the Democrats want to include they may drop the program overall. Their proposal for getting the additional $40 billion dollars is increasing cigarette taxes from 39 cents per pack to $1 per pack. I see the pros and cons of this bill. My only concern is that they cannot decide which uninsured children they will cover. They say that perhaps illegal children may be covered and perhaps families making over $80k will be covered. They need to better define the income of families, and which children will be qualified for the program. Not only have I been paying attention to this bill, I’ve also been following the candidates for Presidency 2008. Democrat Hillary Clinton supports a national wide health care plan, but does not believe the 12 million illegal immigrants should be part of this plan. $110 billion dollars to pull off this ideal health care plan, but is it worth it? What about those who are more at high risk, or those who do more harm to their bodies? Should they pay more taxes? I’ve never been fond of politics, but after my summer in California I realized it’s my responsibility as an USA citizen to really care for my own country. If I let things pass by me, imagine how many other people are doing the same. Who is actually paying attention to what bills are being passed? Who’s paying attention to what’ being lobbied in the House? Living in California has knocked some senses in me, or maybe not. Maybe I’ve changed so much in college that I can’t decide who I really am anymore.
Any chance of getting some peace of mind before I graduate? Yeah right.
Every Grand of Sand
In the time of my confession,
in the hour of my deepest need
When the pool of tears beneath my feet
flood every newborn seed
There's a dyin' voice within me
reaching out somewhere,
Toiling in the danger and in
the morals of despair.
Don't have the inclination to
look back on any mistake,
Like Cain,
I now behold this chain of events
that I must break.
In the fury of the moment
I can see the Master's hand
In every leaf that trembles,
in every grain of sand.
Oh, the flowers of indulgence
and the weeds of yesteryear,
Like criminals,
they have choked the breath
of conscience and good cheer.
The sun beat down upon the steps
of time to light the way
To ease the pain of idleness
and the memory of decay.
I gaze into the doorway of
temptation's angry flame
And every time I pass that way
I always hear my name.
Then onward in my journey
I come to understand
That every hair is numbered
like every grain of sand.
I have gone from rags to riches
in the sorrow of the night
In the violence of a summer's dream,
in the chill of a wintry light,
In the bitter dance of loneliness
fading into space,
In the broken mirror of innocence
on each forgotten face.
I hear the ancient footsteps like
the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there,
other times it's only me.
I am hanging in the balance
of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling,
like every grain of sand.
Any chance of getting some peace of mind before I graduate? Yeah right.
Every Grand of Sand
In the time of my confession,
in the hour of my deepest need
When the pool of tears beneath my feet
flood every newborn seed
There's a dyin' voice within me
reaching out somewhere,
Toiling in the danger and in
the morals of despair.
Don't have the inclination to
look back on any mistake,
Like Cain,
I now behold this chain of events
that I must break.
In the fury of the moment
I can see the Master's hand
In every leaf that trembles,
in every grain of sand.
Oh, the flowers of indulgence
and the weeds of yesteryear,
Like criminals,
they have choked the breath
of conscience and good cheer.
The sun beat down upon the steps
of time to light the way
To ease the pain of idleness
and the memory of decay.
I gaze into the doorway of
temptation's angry flame
And every time I pass that way
I always hear my name.
Then onward in my journey
I come to understand
That every hair is numbered
like every grain of sand.
I have gone from rags to riches
in the sorrow of the night
In the violence of a summer's dream,
in the chill of a wintry light,
In the bitter dance of loneliness
fading into space,
In the broken mirror of innocence
on each forgotten face.
I hear the ancient footsteps like
the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there,
other times it's only me.
I am hanging in the balance
of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling,
like every grain of sand.