DEEETROIT BASKETBAAAAALL!
My mom recently decided, I'm not entirely sure why, to surprise my dad, my bro and I with tickets to the Lions game. So yesterday we headed down to Ford Field, pumped for some football and to see the new stadium. Little did we know that we were in for a night of true comedy...it was absolutely hilarious. I won't get into all the specifics of the game, that could take eons. We'll start, though, with the Lions first drive of the game...wait, I don't remember it, it was ridiculously short. That pretty much set the tone for the entire game, with the Rams dominating and the Lions managing to screw it up at every available interval (sorry Lions, but I call them how I see them). The few good plays they managed were botched by penalties and whatnot, at which point my dad and I began to discuss possible punishments we would employ in practice if we were coaches (think lots of RUNNING). The game started to get so sad at the end that the stadium pretty much cleared out by the 4th quarter. As we were sitting in our seats during the 3rd, one guy leaving tapped my dad on the shoulder and told him to "turn the lights off when you leave"....yeah, 'nuff said. This is somewhere near the point where the ref confused the Lions' opponent, giving possession to Seattle rather than St. Louis. I guess the Lions are so skilled at losing that they can have turnovers to teams they're not even playing. Luckily, his blunder was probably witnessed by a crowd of oh, say about 12. I was laughing so hard and the audience was just ripping on him. Poor guy. This brings me to the crowd sitting around us. Interesting characters, as always. 1/2 of them were too drunk to traverse the stairs. A couple in front of us, who worshipped the Lions as they came on to the field to start the game, left the game at the end of the 1st quarter, yelling "Boo to the Lions". How articulate. Anyhow, the Lions set themselves up for some serious bashing with the "kids' club" question, or something along those lines. They were polling the mini-Lions fans in attendance "What do you think the Lions talk about in the huddle?" The kids responded with the answers the Lions organization was looking for "plays", "what they're going to do next", etc. etc. Our section of the stadium, however, had better ideas: "Why are we losing?" "You suck, no, you suck..." and others (you get the picture). As the game drew to a close, the boos from the crowd were only exceeded in decibels by the chants of "DEETROIT BASKETBAAAALLL!" Now that's looking on the bright side! We left the stadium around the beginning of the 4th quarter, and as we walked back to the car, a guy near us found a nice way to sum up the game: "Man, only the Lions can make those black jerseys look THAT bad." Amen, man, amen. It was tons of fun, though, on the upside.