loser...
i feel like such a loser. i have so much time to update this journal especially since my dad's computer is hella fuckin fast cuz he's a computer guy. tyler called me tonight and i know he was with zach cuz they're in disneyland together..it kills me. cuz i wanna hang out with tyler but being around him just reminds me of zach and if me and zach are gonna be broken up forever i don't think i can deal with it. i wanna be friends with him but i'm gonna have to get over it for awhile, ya kno? when ur sad...have you noticed that all of a sudden every song you hear somehow appeals to you? it sucks. and i hate being sad.
i haven't even applied to solano yet. i don't even have a transcript to give to them. i'm such a procrastinator. yeah, i was gonna go to sac state, but that's more money than i wanna spend my freshman year in college. and i don't know what the hell i'm gonna do. part of me wants to get a second job, go to school, move out and get an apartment...but then part of me just wants to keep my one job, go to school for a semester and then move back here to go to school...but then i don't really want that. But i feel like i have no one in california. me and emily really aren't cool anymore because she spends every waking moment with will and he controls her every move. tyler is moving to fucking north dakota and his family is gonna go to washington. me and zach i'm still awaiting the outcome of that decision. it sucks how your fate can be held in the hands of one person. my mom is a piece of crap and she hates me so i can cancel that one. i do have shawn...and cassi...and of course my jasmina. i love her. and then there's heather but she's in fucking buckwheat county. and i have a lot of acquaintances..i don't know. maybe when i start school i'll meet some more people.
i've kind of not been hangin around the people i was around here. lately i've been around caitlin she's been my friend since 8th grade when i moved here...so its cool. i'm usually around her boyfriend and his friends and her boyfriend's brother is my friend tim who came to visit me in cali so that's cool. i'm really ready to leave...but i have family coming saturday and sunday...so i am mucho excited. oh...you know what? there's this girl lacey here and she has the EXACT same birthday as me and i've never met anyone with the same birthday as me...and she is really a nice girl so i'm probably gonna try and keep in touch with her. and now i'm just rambling so i'm gonna go...
i haven't even applied to solano yet. i don't even have a transcript to give to them. i'm such a procrastinator. yeah, i was gonna go to sac state, but that's more money than i wanna spend my freshman year in college. and i don't know what the hell i'm gonna do. part of me wants to get a second job, go to school, move out and get an apartment...but then part of me just wants to keep my one job, go to school for a semester and then move back here to go to school...but then i don't really want that. But i feel like i have no one in california. me and emily really aren't cool anymore because she spends every waking moment with will and he controls her every move. tyler is moving to fucking north dakota and his family is gonna go to washington. me and zach i'm still awaiting the outcome of that decision. it sucks how your fate can be held in the hands of one person. my mom is a piece of crap and she hates me so i can cancel that one. i do have shawn...and cassi...and of course my jasmina. i love her. and then there's heather but she's in fucking buckwheat county. and i have a lot of acquaintances..i don't know. maybe when i start school i'll meet some more people.
i've kind of not been hangin around the people i was around here. lately i've been around caitlin she's been my friend since 8th grade when i moved here...so its cool. i'm usually around her boyfriend and his friends and her boyfriend's brother is my friend tim who came to visit me in cali so that's cool. i'm really ready to leave...but i have family coming saturday and sunday...so i am mucho excited. oh...you know what? there's this girl lacey here and she has the EXACT same birthday as me and i've never met anyone with the same birthday as me...and she is really a nice girl so i'm probably gonna try and keep in touch with her. and now i'm just rambling so i'm gonna go...