I am beautiful in every single way.
So I went to this class tonight... Well, first I went to one called "aero dance", which is basically aerobics, with our new gym instructor who is very energetic and kinda gay - I got a compliment from him, on being good. It's been a while since I've done aerobics, so I wasn't actually very good, but it was fun. But after that I went to a class called "flexible strength", which is taught by our other gym instructor, who is a ballet teacher - she's petite and graceful and all these things I sort of am not.
But.
I felt a bit clumsy here and there, but it was still within tolerable levels - as in, I didn't feel super awkward and useless. And then at the end she tells us that tomorrow is her ballet class (I'd signed up for last week's class, but then changed my mind, deciding that I may not dare). And then she looks at me, specifically, and tells me to "you should come" and tells me that "you're good, you've basically got it already, and you've got the muscles", then proceeds to show me a thing she'd noticed while we were doing one of the moves - she told me that "this is you turn-out" (see what wikipedia has to say in explanation) and that I have the muscles for that already and yadda yadda, lifting my leg to the side and pointing out the muscles. It was such a little thing, really, but it totally made my evening, because after such a long time, I felt like I could be naturally good for something, and I felt beautiful - you know, that special kind of beautiful that is about more than just the way you look? The kind of beautiful that I usually only feel while I am skating.
This comes at exactly the right moment, because I had been contemplating at all this just last night, after thai boxing and after, while I was stretching in front of the mirror wall at the gym, I realized that wow, I've got some nice muscles (more so than ever, I think) and that I love it. I've got quite some thigh muscle now, and just generally leg muscle, and actually my back and my arms and shoulders are a lot leaner as well, and my abs - lol, the thai boxing (which I only just got back to again after my summer "break") and the running and prolonged workout because my girlfriend is a bit crazy when it comes to sports, well, all of those have definitely been good for me. And I had been also contemplating about the dancing last night, about how I maybe should do it, even just for fun and just dance (like nobody's watching) and let go, because I dance and move much better when nobody's watching (or when I forget about people watching). So yeah, I think I am going to that ballet class tomorrow evening - and it's gonna be awkward, yes, but I'd wanted to do a bit of ballet anyway, because it's gonna be good for my skating (which I fully intend to go back to as soon as I get out of here and move somewhere where they actually have an ice rink!).
Feeling beautiful, the inner kind of beautiful, is such a precious thing. I'd forgotten how good that feels.
PS: Have some acoustic Gaga - this is brilliant!
But.
I felt a bit clumsy here and there, but it was still within tolerable levels - as in, I didn't feel super awkward and useless. And then at the end she tells us that tomorrow is her ballet class (I'd signed up for last week's class, but then changed my mind, deciding that I may not dare). And then she looks at me, specifically, and tells me to "you should come" and tells me that "you're good, you've basically got it already, and you've got the muscles", then proceeds to show me a thing she'd noticed while we were doing one of the moves - she told me that "this is you turn-out" (see what wikipedia has to say in explanation) and that I have the muscles for that already and yadda yadda, lifting my leg to the side and pointing out the muscles. It was such a little thing, really, but it totally made my evening, because after such a long time, I felt like I could be naturally good for something, and I felt beautiful - you know, that special kind of beautiful that is about more than just the way you look? The kind of beautiful that I usually only feel while I am skating.
This comes at exactly the right moment, because I had been contemplating at all this just last night, after thai boxing and after, while I was stretching in front of the mirror wall at the gym, I realized that wow, I've got some nice muscles (more so than ever, I think) and that I love it. I've got quite some thigh muscle now, and just generally leg muscle, and actually my back and my arms and shoulders are a lot leaner as well, and my abs - lol, the thai boxing (which I only just got back to again after my summer "break") and the running and prolonged workout because my girlfriend is a bit crazy when it comes to sports, well, all of those have definitely been good for me. And I had been also contemplating about the dancing last night, about how I maybe should do it, even just for fun and just dance (like nobody's watching) and let go, because I dance and move much better when nobody's watching (or when I forget about people watching). So yeah, I think I am going to that ballet class tomorrow evening - and it's gonna be awkward, yes, but I'd wanted to do a bit of ballet anyway, because it's gonna be good for my skating (which I fully intend to go back to as soon as I get out of here and move somewhere where they actually have an ice rink!).
Feeling beautiful, the inner kind of beautiful, is such a precious thing. I'd forgotten how good that feels.
PS: Have some acoustic Gaga - this is brilliant!