Weatherproof fashion.

Sep 18, 2010 22:40

There are things I should be doing, like making the necessary formatting edits to my thesis (which is getting published), or finding out how to get from Heathrow to Euston Square station (I think), or finishing the last piece of the painting/collage/thing I have been working on, but instead I am listening to music and fangirling a certain singer songwriter and wasting time. It's cosy here in my living room, underneath a big lamp that emanates a nicely soft light... only... it's lonely and it's getting cold. Fall has arrived and I can't say I'm particularly thrilled about it.

Two nights ago, after an afternoon spent in pain (from the nerve that's still pinched in my back and that is still making my arm hurt/tingle), I had a minor meltdown. I looked into the mirror, at the slightly darker shades under my eyes, and asked myself what the hell I am doing here, in this fucking country with annoying, cold, rainy weather and lack of ice rinks (Ireland's only rink, which is 86km from Dublin, has been "temporarily closed" since like April), not to mention the overpriced housing (overpriced everything), lackluster cuisine and obnoxious drinking culture. What the hell am I doing here, working in a job that is obviously very bad for my body and that I don't even like all that much (though I don't hate it). But it got better, though I still despise the weather and how cold my room is and the fact that I need to wear 3 shirts to be comfortable at night. (I think I may need to start using the heating, not that it helps much.) Hopefully my new apartment will be slightly warmer; yes, I am going to move at the end of October/beginning of November - the girlfriend and I want to move in together; I hope we find a nice apartment with some reasonable rent. (I also can't wait to be rid of my irritating flatmate.)

I went shopping today in the morning and it was actually one of those days where everything goes well and shopping turns out to be a fun experience rather than a major pain in the ass. I ended up compiling an entire new outfit (with several variations to it), in hues of brown and red. I should take pictures, but basically I bought light/dark brown/black checkered shorts (with dark brown tights), a dark red "racerback" tanktop with quite some cleavage and buttons in the front, a red and a dark brown long-sleeve shirt (the same shirt, just different colors cause I couldn't decide), and a dark brown knit shirt with buttons in the front. It's funny how as it gets colder I find myself gravitating towards warmer, earthier tones - in the summer, I was all about blue and white and green and variations thereof, I really didn't wear red a lot though I usually love it. I also bought some underwear. Talking about underwear - I have bought some more interesting underwear since I've been in a relationship, but most of the lacy girly stuff still makes me shudder. It's funny - I am fairly girly in many ways, but underwear has never been one of those areas; I still feel best in plain (nice and nicely colored, but no frills) things. I kind of hate the lingerie section in shops most of the time. The things I bought today actually have decorations on them - progress? ;) (A fascinating topic, I know.)

So yes, the girl in me definitely had a fun morning. But you know what? While most of the time I enjoy my girly thing (though I am nowhere near as girly as some of the ladies I see around here), sometimes I really like looking into the mirror and thinking wow, you DO look gay. I like looking gay (however you want to define a gay look; I know how I define mine).
I saw a girl today with a very cool haircut - it was all short on one side, but kind of longer on the other, but not in a messy way. It was very beautiful and very feminine. I wish I could pull something like that off, but I don't have the head for short hair, and I am afraid I wouldn't feel comfortable with short hair.

I am hopefully going on a hike tomorrow; it better not rain.

PS: Since I mentioned the lack of ice rinks. You have no idea how much I miss skating. It's September, which is the time rinks usually reopen, the time I'd be able to go back to skating regularly... I can feel it in the air (and it makes me think of Moscow, and of Lille), and I miss it. I cried my eyes out the other night, not only for the reasons described above, but also because I can't skate. I keep telling myself that I need to find a new hobby, a new sport, but nothing quite feels right - nothing sounds attractive and like it could be good enough. It's a bit like trying to date someone new when you're still in love with your ex.

figure skating, weather, dublin, gay, ireland, shopping, fashion

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