Star Wars Holiday Special AKA Why God, Why?
Arg! I keep turning up the heat in my apartment, but it's still fucking freezing in here. It's all my windows fault, they refuse to keep the cold air out!
Anyway, let's talk about the Star Wars Holiday Special for a bit. It's hard to explain it, but I'll try. You know how some things are so bad they're funny? Well this was so bad it skipped funny and went right to painful. I felt like I was watching my childhood being raped. It's the kind of pain I would associate with having your skull bashed in with a hammer until nothing was left but a redish smear on your shoulder.
Half of it was wookies wandering around their sitcom house... growling. And there were no subtitles for them, you just kinda had to imagine what was being said for most of it. And why the hell was Chewie's family so UGLY? Kelley and I seemed to agree the reason Chewie was never home was because of how disfigured they were.
And what was up with that virtual hooker machine halfway through? And don't try to tell me it was anything BUT that. It was wrong, just wrong.
The cartoon was probably the best part of it, and the animation was beyond terrible. Why was Han Solo squinting all the time? Since when did Han squint!?!
The ending actually made me want to kill myself. Leia singing, Han Solo being all like: "You guys are like my family" and Luke... just kinda being there. WTF was he even doing there?
But, there was a silver lining, I now have an all new appreciation for Episodes I, II and III. I don't think I will ever be able to call them bad Star Wars movies, not when there is something so much worse lingering around the corner.
*Shudder*
-Scarred For Life, LS
Anyway, let's talk about the Star Wars Holiday Special for a bit. It's hard to explain it, but I'll try. You know how some things are so bad they're funny? Well this was so bad it skipped funny and went right to painful. I felt like I was watching my childhood being raped. It's the kind of pain I would associate with having your skull bashed in with a hammer until nothing was left but a redish smear on your shoulder.
Half of it was wookies wandering around their sitcom house... growling. And there were no subtitles for them, you just kinda had to imagine what was being said for most of it. And why the hell was Chewie's family so UGLY? Kelley and I seemed to agree the reason Chewie was never home was because of how disfigured they were.
And what was up with that virtual hooker machine halfway through? And don't try to tell me it was anything BUT that. It was wrong, just wrong.
The cartoon was probably the best part of it, and the animation was beyond terrible. Why was Han Solo squinting all the time? Since when did Han squint!?!
The ending actually made me want to kill myself. Leia singing, Han Solo being all like: "You guys are like my family" and Luke... just kinda being there. WTF was he even doing there?
But, there was a silver lining, I now have an all new appreciation for Episodes I, II and III. I don't think I will ever be able to call them bad Star Wars movies, not when there is something so much worse lingering around the corner.
*Shudder*
-Scarred For Life, LS