life: time change bites me on the ass every damned year
Every year, and I swear this, I swear this to high holy heaven-though I don't believe in heaven, only in the dissipation of all my neurons into wormdust, but did I, would I swear-that EACH AND EVERY DAMNED YEAR it catches me by surprise.
I am like an especially slow-to-learn beagle in the clown circus, the one wearing the cape who keeps falling off the podium into the pool instead of jumping through the hoop.
So every year I have to keep slogging on through until something reminds me, some little thing, usually, like smelling something funny and realizing I haven't bathed in two days; or the fact I've run out of milk for my coffee three times in a row; or hearing the cat cry because I've slept for fourteen hours straight and she's pissed.
But every year at some point I lift my head and realize for the past three weeks or so something has been living in my head telling me I am shit and everything I touch is pure crap and everything sucks and nothing will ever get better.
And that's when I realize daylight savings time has come and gone, and I am experiencing what some people call depression, but I call "the alien that takes over my brain."
This is when I need to make it a point of taking a shower and going outside to sit in whatever sunlight there is and aim my eyeballs at the sky and remind myself the Goa'uld had nothing on this fucker, whatever it is, but I am much stronger than my brain chemistry.
And there have been times in my life where everything really did suck, but this is not one of those times. So, in honor of that, I give you a song I wrote back then with my friend Pivo called "Everything Sucks," that my loopy band Joe Schmoe used to play with hilarious conviction:
Life is on an eternal quest of getting better, and we with it.
[ X-posted to Dreamwidth with
comments | How to use OpenID ]
I am like an especially slow-to-learn beagle in the clown circus, the one wearing the cape who keeps falling off the podium into the pool instead of jumping through the hoop.
So every year I have to keep slogging on through until something reminds me, some little thing, usually, like smelling something funny and realizing I haven't bathed in two days; or the fact I've run out of milk for my coffee three times in a row; or hearing the cat cry because I've slept for fourteen hours straight and she's pissed.
But every year at some point I lift my head and realize for the past three weeks or so something has been living in my head telling me I am shit and everything I touch is pure crap and everything sucks and nothing will ever get better.
And that's when I realize daylight savings time has come and gone, and I am experiencing what some people call depression, but I call "the alien that takes over my brain."
This is when I need to make it a point of taking a shower and going outside to sit in whatever sunlight there is and aim my eyeballs at the sky and remind myself the Goa'uld had nothing on this fucker, whatever it is, but I am much stronger than my brain chemistry.
And there have been times in my life where everything really did suck, but this is not one of those times. So, in honor of that, I give you a song I wrote back then with my friend Pivo called "Everything Sucks," that my loopy band Joe Schmoe used to play with hilarious conviction:
Life is on an eternal quest of getting better, and we with it.
[ X-posted to Dreamwidth with
comments | How to use OpenID ]