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Wednesday, December 9thBloody miserable day. Bin a lot of 'em lately an' I'm sick of it. Not in a good mood t'day at all. Syl came past yesterday an' told us Miss Wanda's shacking up with the fuckin' devil. Cos Tez doing that wasn't enough fer 'im, apparently. Syl was pretty shook up about it and said we couldn't go stayin' with Wanda. Could've
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But I still dunt know how I can go talk t'her, not 'n see that disappointed hurt in her eyes, knowin' I let her down that bad when I told her how I loved, when I showed her...
But I need t'work, and I need t'eat. I dunt want t'cook on my own, though, and so I came up t'the cafe quick, my chest feelin' tight, but Kate wasn't here when I got in. It's fair t'empty, which is strange, but there's some girls I think I recognize. I step over t'em 'n clear my throat. "Afternoon. Are - you're the ones as tell fortunes, right? From the Carnival?" I wonder 'f they'll know me from workin' with Syl. I dunt think so, but then lots must 'a seen her 'n me 'n Kate on Sunday.
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"Afternoon. Are - you're the ones as tell fortunes, right? From the Carnival?"
Should prob'ly give 'er the spiel we usually do, but I'm not in the mood.
"Unless there's another set o'Siamese twins wanderin' 'bout town, reckon you've found the right ones," I say, an' get out a packet of fags. Light one an' inhale. "Was you lookin' t'get a readin'?"
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My mouth tightens some. "No, I was just lookin'," I say hotly. "Why else would I be askin' that question?" It's easier bein' angry than sad.
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"No, I was just lookin'. Why else would I be askin' that question?"
"Well, duckie," says Faith, dry as y'like, "jus' lookin' is what people do to us a lot of the time, can yer believe it?"
Decide I should prob'ly say somethin' before Faith starts a proper row with a stranger.
"We can do you a readin', miss," I says. "Y'can either come to our caravan t'night, or else we can read 'ere. Got a set o'cards with us, though it ain't all that private 'ere." Caf's pretty quiet though, so she might go fer it. Would pay fer our lunch, anyway.
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I open my mouth t'answer, but she's talkin' 'gain only her voice is different. "We can do you a readin', miss," this one says. I'm fair t'sure it ain't the one glarin' at me who's talkin'. "Y'can either come to our caravan t'night, or else we can read 'ere. Got a set o'cards with us, though it ain't all that private 'ere."
I hesitate, lookin' 'round, but I dunt want t'go out t'the Carnival 'gain so soon. "I think it'd be best 'f I dint go out there just now," I say, and I sit down 'cross from 'em. "Here's fine. I can pay, and I can get your lunch, too, seein' as I'm interruptin' it."
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Give 'er a bit of a look.
"If you ain't wantin' to go to the Lot cos you've done somethin' bad there, best tell us now, cos we don't do business with them as 'urts our family," I tell 'er straight. "Otherwise, we're glad fer yer custom, an' buyin' lunch is right decent o'yer." Hold out me 'and. "I'm Faith. This is Hope. What kind o'readin' are yer wantin'? If you ain't 'ad one before, there's a few types. Can give general readin's - broad sense o'what might be in yer future an' the like - or we can answer partic'lar questions, like will 'e love me? -" answer t'that one is usually no, but you'll keep tryin' regardless o'what we tell yer - "or should I set up my new business? That sort o'thing."
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She offers her hand. "I'm Faith. This is Hope," she says, indicatin' the one who's bin doin' all the talkin', though it does sound two 'v 'em. What kind o'readin' are yer wantin'? If you ain't 'ad one before, there's a few types. Can give general readin's - broad sense o'what might be in yer future an' the like - or we can answer partic'lar questions, like will 'e love me, or should I set up my new business? That sort o'thing."There's the faintest tingle 'a power when I take her hand. I usually need a charm t'feel it, but it's there none the less. I take out payment, fer meal and readin'. "I - " I take a deep breathe - "can ( ... )
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"You know Syl?" Consider 'er fer a minute. "Alright, then." Stub me cig out an' get out the cards. "Shuffle these," I say to 'er, passin' 'em over.
"can she forgive me," the girl says, low and quiet, an' I think maybe that's why she ain't given us 'er name, cos I doubt she's talkin' 'bout 'er mum.
"We'll do an ellipse spread," I say. "They're good for direct questions, an' fer stuff about relationships." Take back the cards once she's given 'em a shuffle an' fan seven cards out into a V. "Hope sees what's in th'cards, an' I translate 'em," I say. "First card is fer the past."
Flip it over, an' it's the Three o'Cups.
"This one's th'Three o'Cups," I say, tappin' it. "A card o'sensuality an' selfishness." Interestin' start alright. Look at it, an' feel Hope seein' -
Blonde girl, jus' a teenager I reckon, an' there's a much older man pushin' down on 'er shoulders, an' 'is expression is all guilty excitement -Not sure what this 'as got to do with this girl, but afore I can ( ... )
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"We'll do an ellipse spread," she tells me. "They're good for direct questions, an' fer stuff about relationships." I hand her back the cards and she cuts seven cards out. "Hope sees what's in th'cards," she explains, "an' I translate 'em. First card is fer the past."
I nod and she turns over the card. "This one's th'Three o'Cups. A card o'sensuality an' selfishness." I wince, and they've got the Sight all right. "Bleedin' 'ell," she exclaims, "is there anyone not sleeping with Syl?" I blush some and bite my cheek, lookin' 'round, but no one's payin' attention. "Alright," she says after a breath, "You shagged Syl. Dunno exactly what that's got t'do with the first image we saw, yet. Blonde girl, pretty young, good lookin' in a neat sort o'way - It's that Miss O'Hara, ain't ( ... )
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"What we're seein' for Miss O'Hara happened long ago," I say. "But we wouldn't see it if it weren't connected to the now, an' to you." Could be a whole lot o'reasons fer that, but we can't really speculate, not knowin' 'em at all. Though I think it might 'ave somethin' to do with 'ow Miss O'Hara feels 'bout all this.
"Next card is fer influences on you at the moment," I say, an' turn the card over.
"The Five o'Cups, the Lord of Loss," says Faith. "That card's fer the overturnin' of things, an' fer anxieties."
Look at the card, an - she's lyin' on a bed, feet scratched to pieces, an' there's a boy leanin' over 'er, gettin' 'er cleaned up, an' I see rather than 'ear 'er say I couldn't bear it, t'walk in and see her face.
"Yer afraid," says Faith. "That she can't forgive yer. That's why yer 'ere talkin' to us instead of goin' to 'er." Faith gives 'er a bit of a look, like she ain't too impressed with that. I think of the scratches we saw on 'er, though, an' think she's prob'ly beatin' up on ( ... )
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"Next card is fer influences on you at the moment," she says, and then turns the card. The Five o'Cups, the Lord of Loss. That card's fer the overturnin' of things, an' fer anxieties," the first one tells me. I know it, that card, and I ain't surprised even if I dunt have their gift.
"Yer afraid that she can't forgive yer. That's why yer 'ere talkin' to us instead of goin' to 'er." She give me another hard look - she hardly looks my own age 'n she's throwin' me looks like she was my Ma. However guilty I'm feelin' it still sets my back straight. "What's next," I say feignin' coolness.
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"Tulzcha," I call out, "will you bring this lady a cup o'tea?" Takes 'er about ten seconds t'bring it, I swear. Not as nice as the tea in the Dormouse, but it'll do.
"That'll make yer feel steadier," I observe, an' then go back t'the cards. "Next card is fer influences on you in th'future," I say, an' flip it over. "Ten o'Cups, reversed. That's fer family discord," I say.
A farmhouse full of family - there's the boy who comforted 'er, must be a brother - an' everyone's tense, people're talkin' 'bout duty an' the face o'the oldest man, reckon that's the father, is furious...
"They'll want yer t'get married," I say, "yer family. Will get 'arder t'put 'em off as y'get older. An' it's not just regular family pressure, I don't reckon. They think you need t'get 'itched an' up the duff, though I couldn't say why. Reckon you know, though," I say, ( ... )
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She turns the next card. "Next card is fer influences on you in th'future. Ten o'Cups, reversed. That's fer family discord." I ain't ever had a readin' like this, but I remember an aunt sayin' a true readin' was never comfortable. She was right. I keep wantin' t'wince at the implications 'a the cards, but I keep my back straight 'n my eyes steady. Mostly.
"They'll want yer t'get married, yer family. Will get 'arder t'put 'em off as y'get older. An' it's not just regular family pressure, I don't reckon. They think you need t'get 'itched an' up the duff, though I couldn't say why. Reckon you know, though." Think they saw more 'n that, but she dunt say. I just nod, 'cause that one makes me feel tired. "That won't change," I tell her.
"Now then," Faith continues, the pace 'a the readin' pickin' up as they get the sense 'n the shape 'v it ( ... )
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"Th'next card is fer things outside o'you as can influence the situation." I turn it over an' feel meself frown, cos it ain't a nice one.
"Nine o'Swords - the Lord o'Despair," Faith says, 'er tone soundin' like what I feel. Look down at it, an' it's easy enough t'read.
"Biggest thing outside o'you that might 'old things back is 'er fear an' distrust," I say. "But I s'pose that don't come as a surprise. Seems like she's 'ad reason not t'trust people in the past, an' it's a lot t'get past." I sip me own cup o'tea, cos a readin' like this is thirsty work.
"Next card," says Faith, as we get closer t'the end, "is hopes an' fears." I dunno that we even need t'really read this one, cos what Tess fears is written all over 'er face, but I turn over th'card anyway. "The Hierophant ( ... )
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I catch my breath as the card turns. "Nine o'Swords - the Lord o'Despair," Faith says in a funeral voice. "Biggest thing outside o'you that might 'old things back is 'er fear an' distrust. But I s'pose that don't come as a surprise. Seems like she's 'ad reason not t'trust people in the past, an' it's a lot t'get past." Faith sips her tea, still looking down at the card.
"Next card is hopes an' fears," Faith says, and Hope names it. "The Hierophant."
She looks at it, and then her head jerks up, her eyes wide as she looks at me. "Is there never goin' t'be a readin' in this bleedin' town we don't see that fuckin' tower?" Faith sounds mad, and I guess I would be too 'f the damn thing kept intrudin' on my readin'. It makes me glad I ain't tried any scryin' 'r the like, not since what happened.
"Yer afraid that if people know 'bout you an' Miss O'Hara, they'll turn away from you or worse." Afraid, yeah, but that I think ( ... )
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"Last card's fer the overall outcome, if you follow th'fourth card's advice," I say. "Sort o'sums up the rest o'what came before."
Turn it over, an' smile a bit to see it. "That's the Strength card," I say, an' Hope looks.
Miss O'Hara, younger again, walkin' out in the dark... An' walkin' on the road, shoes splashed wi' mud... Tess lyin' in the arms o'that girl from the Apothecary, an' the girl walkin' away... Tess doin' magic in a place that shimmers with power, an' then lyin' in bed sweatin' out a fever... Miss O'Hara kneelin' with 'er 'ands pressed t'gether... Mrs Beddau who's married to the barman with 'er 'and on Miss O'Hara's, steady look passin' between 'em... Miss O'Hara lookin' at Tess awhile, an' at last crossin' the room an' lettin' Tess put 'er lips on 'er forehead."Yer both strong," I say. "And yer willin' to risk a lot fer what you really want. It'll stand you in good stead, an' if you do what's right, I'd say it's pretty ( ... )
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