embrace zein failure
the depression comes in waves. one day i'm fine; shit rolls off me like water. then, a couple days later, something happens and i get in this horrible funk. then it's over.
i really still like this chick. tried to date, but it went sour. our friendship was in the balance there for a while, then i cared less and less. in a fit of despiration to satiate myself, i sad things, albeit true, that were just plainly wrong. then a couple days later, i'm cool me i knew i was.
skip a couple weeks. recent. we hang out. it's fine. we watch the superbowl. i'm cool. something i remember; something i liked. yet i know it'll never go the way i want; not even slightly. i'm sure she knows how i feel, but doesn't want to risk anything. i'm almost to the break line. it's either going to end badly (me going into complete solitude) or nothing at all. i don't want the prior, but the latter sounds much worse. for god's sake, i'm damn near twenty-seven and this shit is still confusing. why do i bother with girls if i know how it's going to end eventually? that's right, i remember. because i give a shit. figure that.
fuck.
i really still like this chick. tried to date, but it went sour. our friendship was in the balance there for a while, then i cared less and less. in a fit of despiration to satiate myself, i sad things, albeit true, that were just plainly wrong. then a couple days later, i'm cool me i knew i was.
skip a couple weeks. recent. we hang out. it's fine. we watch the superbowl. i'm cool. something i remember; something i liked. yet i know it'll never go the way i want; not even slightly. i'm sure she knows how i feel, but doesn't want to risk anything. i'm almost to the break line. it's either going to end badly (me going into complete solitude) or nothing at all. i don't want the prior, but the latter sounds much worse. for god's sake, i'm damn near twenty-seven and this shit is still confusing. why do i bother with girls if i know how it's going to end eventually? that's right, i remember. because i give a shit. figure that.
fuck.