I Can't Take It Anymore

[essencedespair]

I usually dont get angry when i get upset, but i really... really am angered. My body is shaking, i feel cold... i feel like im gonna puke, and i feel like i could take someones life right now.

A few days back, my mom told me to "take care of the cans of soda sitting on the table in the front room". i didnt think they were mine. i hadnt been in the

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[essencedespair]

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She calls me back out into the kitchen cause she wants things thrown away. as if she couldnt do it... and that i needed to mop the kitchen.

I have no way to vent my anger, without it being violent, so i tried to sleep, and i focused my adrenaline on cleaning. ive done alot of cleaning. yet she still bitches.

She called me out there, then had to have a conversation with me... about nic.

Mom: i feel bad for nic.
Me: ...
Mom: He's his own worst enemy. It must be hell.
Me: ...
Mom: He's a good kid, besides the times he aggrivates me, otherwise hes a good kid. He doesn't get into trouble.
(lets pause here)
"He doesn't get into trouble"

no fucking shit.
(resume)
Me: *growls to self* Oh yeah... never gets into trouble. Of course, cause any time something wrong happens, he says "I didn't do it".
Mom: What?
Me: forget it. *walks out*

i swear to fucking god... i cant stop shaking... im like... getting sick from this. i feel like im gonna throw up... my anger... i just feel so hated.

Fucking no one talks to me unless they want something or i am in my "life sucks, i want to die" mood.

Fuck that.

No one loves me here... so why do i stay?

[thaisaxchik08]

I love you matt, and i talk to you all the time, so you cant say that no body talks to you unless they are in an emo mood or want something. sure i talk to you when im emo, but i talk to you other times too! and you know that i will always lsten (or read rather) when you need to vent or talk...

<3 you
katie