What do you do when you catch them?
Who: Nari, Essdara
Where: Lower Caverns, Kitchens
Comment: A few days after Dara and Nari's last encounter, Dara manages to track her down. Of course, she doesn't quite know what to do once she /has/ her, but she gives a valient effort.
It is quite late in the evening, and the caverns have mostly calmed down. There are still a few people out and about, moving from baths to dorms or heading off for night duties for those unlucky enough to have them. Coming out of the dorms against the flow of traffic comes Essdara. Tonight, she is clad in a simple and light pair of breeches with a matching shirt, both in a pale blue. As she makes ehr ay into the caverns proper, her eyes cast about as if looking for someone.
Nari has tucked herself in a corner, trying to get herself a cup of klah. She's managed to get a mug, she's also just trying to juggle an arm-ful of hides and the klah pot as she pours. This is what we call a recipe for disaster.
Essdara grins, a feral little smile that shows entirely too much pleasure at finding her prey. Whatever spy network it is the cook has, it's served her well as she approaches the overburdened greenrider. Coming up beside her, she is careful to do her best to not startle the woman as she speaks. "Can I give you a hand, Nari? Pour for you, or hold those hides?"
Nari looks up and flashes a thankful smile. "Dara, hi." She surrenders the cup, keeping a hold of the hides for now. "You're a lifesaver, thank you." Nari throws the other girl a few curious looks, brief as they are, they're frequent.
Essdara accepts the cup and claims the pot of klah, and carefully applies one to the other. After handing it back to the greenrider, she pours another for herself and wraps her fingers around it, turning to watch her companion. "Been hoping to run into you, but the kitchens have been keeping me plenty busy of late. How are you holding up, with everything? Feeling any better about things?"
There's a faint sigh and a shrug from Nari. "Enh. Got into it a bit with Vanya. Had the misfortune of running across her while on a drunken hike. Don't ask." Nari shakes her head. "And just in case you /were/ wondering, alcohol and excercise don't work too well. No. Not really. Anyway, like I said, she and I got into it a bit."
Essdara makes a face. "Alcohol doesn't work very well with anything, I am finding. I'm sorry you had an arguement with her. She's a nice girl, but I think everything that's been going on has been really hard on her." A small smile for her. "But I am sure it was nothing you couldn't handle, drunk or not." A glance around, "Headed anywhere in particular? I don't want to hold you up."
"Er, no. Not a big argument. Mostly I told her she was full of crap because she kept insisting that I was being small minded and that I should give D'ven a chance to declare his undying love for me." Nari's opinion on the likelihood of that happening is plain in her tone. "And no, I've got no where to be. Aida asked me to find her at some point, but I figure I'll let her be for tonight."
Essdara grins. "Oh, good. Then, if you don't mind of course, I will claim you for a while." A glance around, considering possibilities. "I won't say it's impossible he would, and I won't say you shouldn't talk to him. But it isn't something I'd pin my hopes on. That... It'd be like someone telling me I should keep hoping Roa will decide she likes girls. It would be far too easy to go back to pining for her." She looks over at Nari, "And you deserve more than faint hopes and crushed feelings when it comes out he doesn't." She turns, towards the enterance to the stores. "Come with me, have a late snack and a very small glass of wine?"
"Trust me, Dara. I'm not harboring any delusions in that respect." Nari confirms with a faint smile. "And you can steal me if you'd like. She does look a little curious, heading towards the stores with the other girl.
*** They move to the kitchens. ***
Essdara leads Nari through the stores and into the kitchens. At this time of night, they are mostly abandoned. The hearths are banked and the only food going seems to be a pot of stew over some warm coals, just enough to keep the food warm. Once there, Dara leads her over to the small, secluded table the cooks tend to eat at. "Sit, while I get things?" She offers. Not waiting to see if Nari does, she moves away. A basket is procured from one of the ovens, and a skin is taken from where the better wines are stored. She returns after a moment, sitting down next to Nari, and offers the basket - carob coated nuts tonight, it would seem. "Been worried a bit about you. You seemed very unhappy the other day, at the waterfall. And... I wanted to make sure I didn't make things worse for you."
Nari does indeed sit and she offers a faint smile at Dara's words. "No. You didn't make anything worse." She can't fight the tiny blush that stains her cheeks in the dimmish light. "It was... a comfort. It was very nice... to feel wanted. In that sense." Shy, yes. Bashful even.
A gentle smile is offered to the greenrider. "I am glad, because you are." She breaks the seal on the skin, offering it to Nari. "Nari, I've a question for you. Dunno if it's one I should ask, or if it's appropriate, or any of that, but it's been bugging me. Why him? I mean... He's nice, and charming, and all of that... But at the same time, I don't think he's the type that will ever see relationships as anything more than a burden, and sex an entertaining passing of time."
There's a certain uncomfortable shifting in her seat and Nari shrugs. "I've known him since I was thirteen turns." Nari admits with a faint laugh, "Not, mind you that I think he even knew I existed until I Impressed at eighteen and we were Weyrlings together." She grows a bit pensive as she speaks, musing. "He always seemed to move in the brightest sunbeam. He drew the eye. He was tall and strong and brave and kind. He made me laugh. Gentle with his friends, sweet, though you'd not think it." She shrugs one shoulder again. "Do you want to hear something ironic?"
Essdara smiles a bit. "That's a long time to hold on to something like this. I admit, I haven't seen him as you have. Even the first time we met, our conversation was more serious than rumor would have made him out to have..." She shakes her head a little bit, then focuses back on the greenrider. "I want to hear anything you want to say, Nari. I admit, I'm... Not quite sure what to talk about now I've got you here, so I'd appreciate the hand."
"The reason he found out? I was acting strangely because he was telling me that he's started wanting to settle down." Nari confides in a gentle tone. "And he actually said to me that he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to settle with him." She lifts her brows, obviously looking for a laugh.
Essdara is a dissapointment on that front, not the slightest hint of humor touching her lips. "You mentioned something about that the other day. It must have been a very confusing moment, a hard conversation, to hear someone you love both put themselves down, and at the same time say that they want something you want to give them, when they haven't a clue you would. I'd've probably said something, too."
"That's just it. I didn't. I tried to get away from him because... I knew I was acting oddly. That's when he got Teraneth to ask Zally what my deal was." Nari sips her klah. "And ... there you have it." There's a pause and Nari tilts her head to the side. "But I somehow doubt you wanted to get me away just to ask me about D'ven. What's on your mind, Dara?"
Essdara grins a bit. "You are." She says, simply and without much help. "It just amazes me how someone like you comes to have such a low opinion of herself. I can't exactly claim that my self worth is particularly high, but I am getting better. I just don't understand how you came to that... You mentioned your first Flight, but it takes more than one idiot." She reaches into the basket for a carob nut, popping the small morsel into her mouth. "Also thinking about... Other things about you. About the other day. It was very nice, other than the sadness that caused it."
Blush. Nari ducks her head and just lifts a shoulder. "I was Fostered at Benden. Carlin's brood were all so very.. boisterous. The girls in particular tended to point out how... different I was than they were." Shaking her head and selecting a nut from the basket she pops it into her mouth, chewing slowly as she lifts her gaze to meet Dara's shyly. "And, yes. I've found myself thinking of it myself."
"I am forced to wonder what would have happened were you fostered here, or flat-out born here. Nothing wrong with being different. Faranth knows that if there was, I'd be in horrible amounts of trouble." She takes a small sip from the wineskin. "It's hard, though, to be different when others constantly berate you for it. It's led to some difficult lessons." She sets the skin down, and looks away from Nari and towards the deserted kitchens. "What do you think about it?"
"I... don't know." Nari admits softly. "It was... extremely nice." Nari seems bashful again, picking her words carefully. "And I don't know. Perhaps I wouldn't have been the same. Perhaps it isn't so bad that I am me."
Essdara looks back over at her and is quiet for a few moments. "No." She says, finally. "No, it's good that you are you. I like you. I just wish there had been less pain in making you you, that's all." She lapses quiet again for a moment. "Nari... Nari, I have, I admit, a complicated life. I'm still figuring a lot of things out in it, and I have some pains of my own that I am still coming to terms with. But I want to know you more. And I don't want the other day to be a one-off thing."
Nari is quiet for a long time and then nods, slowly. "I... I could really use a friend right now." The admission seems to make the greenrider a bit sad. "As for the rest, I think... I think you are incredibly sweet, Dara. And what you did helped, more than I think you know. I... I can't guarantee anything. I'm in such a confused space right now that I can't. But I'm not saying no to anything, okay?"
Essdara nods, offering a gentle smile. "Not asking for any promises, not asking for anything in particular. I just wanted you to know that. That you are wanted. I would never try to hold you back from whatever might happen, or try to replace other people. But I do like you." A small smile. "And I could use a friend as well. Mine have all been remarkably scarce of late. Or I have, not quite sure which, amounts to the same thing though."
"I like you too, Dara." Nari says softly. She plays with her mug of klah quietly. "And... I don't really see my options as that wide open at the moment. So." She shrugs a bit. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me Dara. Really."
Essdara tilts her head a bit, and smiles. "I haven't done anything but be your friend. Well, maybe a bit more, but... And you do have options, very many of them. There's a whole weyr of options, a whole world. You've a beautiful dragon who will take you anywhere you want to go. Never think you don't have them." She's quiet a moment. "Can I say something, Nari? That I probably shouldn't?"
Nari looks curious, head tilted to the side. "You can tell me anything you'd like, Dara." Nari lifts her mug for a drink, eyes on the other girl.
For a moment, Dara just looks at her, a curious little smile on her face. Then, she closes ehr eyes a moment and takes a breath, before looking at her with a more serious expression. "Nari, talk to him. Not because he might love you, you know my feelings on that. But because it helps. Because avoiding her for weeks didn't make the pain any less, and didn't make it any easier when we finally talked. Talk to him, because until you do, you are trapped. Trapped in your despair, trapped in your love for him, trapped in it all. And I want you to be free, you deserve that freedom." She glances away. "I know it's not my place to say that, but it's how I feel."
Nari sets her mug down and reaches for Dara's hand. She curls her fingers around the cook's gently and squeezes. "Thank you. I... I sort of planned on it. But... that's incredibly good advice. And I plan on taking it." Tentatively, Nari lifts Dara's hand up to her mouth and places a soft kiss on her knuckles.
Essdara looks back at her with a gentle smile, returning the squeeze. "I wish I could make that easier for you, Nari. I wish I could make all of this easier. But you are a strong and wonderful woman, and I know you will get through this. And you know if you need me, I'm usually here, or someone here will know." A soft blush across her cheeks emerges at that kiss, and a pleased smile. "Or even if you just get lonely or bored."
"Trust me. I'll come by." Nari sets her mug aside and then releases Dara's hand. "But. On that note. I should go find D'ven before my courage fails me."
Essdara nods, rising to her feet. "Good luck, Nari, and best wishes in it. No matter what happens, you know you're not alone." A crooked smile, "Just remember, he's D'ven. You've known him since you were thirteen, probably as well as he knows himself. You know you'll come out of this friends."
Nari flashes a bit of a grin and nods as she slips out of the kitchens.
Where: Lower Caverns, Kitchens
Comment: A few days after Dara and Nari's last encounter, Dara manages to track her down. Of course, she doesn't quite know what to do once she /has/ her, but she gives a valient effort.
It is quite late in the evening, and the caverns have mostly calmed down. There are still a few people out and about, moving from baths to dorms or heading off for night duties for those unlucky enough to have them. Coming out of the dorms against the flow of traffic comes Essdara. Tonight, she is clad in a simple and light pair of breeches with a matching shirt, both in a pale blue. As she makes ehr ay into the caverns proper, her eyes cast about as if looking for someone.
Nari has tucked herself in a corner, trying to get herself a cup of klah. She's managed to get a mug, she's also just trying to juggle an arm-ful of hides and the klah pot as she pours. This is what we call a recipe for disaster.
Essdara grins, a feral little smile that shows entirely too much pleasure at finding her prey. Whatever spy network it is the cook has, it's served her well as she approaches the overburdened greenrider. Coming up beside her, she is careful to do her best to not startle the woman as she speaks. "Can I give you a hand, Nari? Pour for you, or hold those hides?"
Nari looks up and flashes a thankful smile. "Dara, hi." She surrenders the cup, keeping a hold of the hides for now. "You're a lifesaver, thank you." Nari throws the other girl a few curious looks, brief as they are, they're frequent.
Essdara accepts the cup and claims the pot of klah, and carefully applies one to the other. After handing it back to the greenrider, she pours another for herself and wraps her fingers around it, turning to watch her companion. "Been hoping to run into you, but the kitchens have been keeping me plenty busy of late. How are you holding up, with everything? Feeling any better about things?"
There's a faint sigh and a shrug from Nari. "Enh. Got into it a bit with Vanya. Had the misfortune of running across her while on a drunken hike. Don't ask." Nari shakes her head. "And just in case you /were/ wondering, alcohol and excercise don't work too well. No. Not really. Anyway, like I said, she and I got into it a bit."
Essdara makes a face. "Alcohol doesn't work very well with anything, I am finding. I'm sorry you had an arguement with her. She's a nice girl, but I think everything that's been going on has been really hard on her." A small smile for her. "But I am sure it was nothing you couldn't handle, drunk or not." A glance around, "Headed anywhere in particular? I don't want to hold you up."
"Er, no. Not a big argument. Mostly I told her she was full of crap because she kept insisting that I was being small minded and that I should give D'ven a chance to declare his undying love for me." Nari's opinion on the likelihood of that happening is plain in her tone. "And no, I've got no where to be. Aida asked me to find her at some point, but I figure I'll let her be for tonight."
Essdara grins. "Oh, good. Then, if you don't mind of course, I will claim you for a while." A glance around, considering possibilities. "I won't say it's impossible he would, and I won't say you shouldn't talk to him. But it isn't something I'd pin my hopes on. That... It'd be like someone telling me I should keep hoping Roa will decide she likes girls. It would be far too easy to go back to pining for her." She looks over at Nari, "And you deserve more than faint hopes and crushed feelings when it comes out he doesn't." She turns, towards the enterance to the stores. "Come with me, have a late snack and a very small glass of wine?"
"Trust me, Dara. I'm not harboring any delusions in that respect." Nari confirms with a faint smile. "And you can steal me if you'd like. She does look a little curious, heading towards the stores with the other girl.
*** They move to the kitchens. ***
Essdara leads Nari through the stores and into the kitchens. At this time of night, they are mostly abandoned. The hearths are banked and the only food going seems to be a pot of stew over some warm coals, just enough to keep the food warm. Once there, Dara leads her over to the small, secluded table the cooks tend to eat at. "Sit, while I get things?" She offers. Not waiting to see if Nari does, she moves away. A basket is procured from one of the ovens, and a skin is taken from where the better wines are stored. She returns after a moment, sitting down next to Nari, and offers the basket - carob coated nuts tonight, it would seem. "Been worried a bit about you. You seemed very unhappy the other day, at the waterfall. And... I wanted to make sure I didn't make things worse for you."
Nari does indeed sit and she offers a faint smile at Dara's words. "No. You didn't make anything worse." She can't fight the tiny blush that stains her cheeks in the dimmish light. "It was... a comfort. It was very nice... to feel wanted. In that sense." Shy, yes. Bashful even.
A gentle smile is offered to the greenrider. "I am glad, because you are." She breaks the seal on the skin, offering it to Nari. "Nari, I've a question for you. Dunno if it's one I should ask, or if it's appropriate, or any of that, but it's been bugging me. Why him? I mean... He's nice, and charming, and all of that... But at the same time, I don't think he's the type that will ever see relationships as anything more than a burden, and sex an entertaining passing of time."
There's a certain uncomfortable shifting in her seat and Nari shrugs. "I've known him since I was thirteen turns." Nari admits with a faint laugh, "Not, mind you that I think he even knew I existed until I Impressed at eighteen and we were Weyrlings together." She grows a bit pensive as she speaks, musing. "He always seemed to move in the brightest sunbeam. He drew the eye. He was tall and strong and brave and kind. He made me laugh. Gentle with his friends, sweet, though you'd not think it." She shrugs one shoulder again. "Do you want to hear something ironic?"
Essdara smiles a bit. "That's a long time to hold on to something like this. I admit, I haven't seen him as you have. Even the first time we met, our conversation was more serious than rumor would have made him out to have..." She shakes her head a little bit, then focuses back on the greenrider. "I want to hear anything you want to say, Nari. I admit, I'm... Not quite sure what to talk about now I've got you here, so I'd appreciate the hand."
"The reason he found out? I was acting strangely because he was telling me that he's started wanting to settle down." Nari confides in a gentle tone. "And he actually said to me that he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to settle with him." She lifts her brows, obviously looking for a laugh.
Essdara is a dissapointment on that front, not the slightest hint of humor touching her lips. "You mentioned something about that the other day. It must have been a very confusing moment, a hard conversation, to hear someone you love both put themselves down, and at the same time say that they want something you want to give them, when they haven't a clue you would. I'd've probably said something, too."
"That's just it. I didn't. I tried to get away from him because... I knew I was acting oddly. That's when he got Teraneth to ask Zally what my deal was." Nari sips her klah. "And ... there you have it." There's a pause and Nari tilts her head to the side. "But I somehow doubt you wanted to get me away just to ask me about D'ven. What's on your mind, Dara?"
Essdara grins a bit. "You are." She says, simply and without much help. "It just amazes me how someone like you comes to have such a low opinion of herself. I can't exactly claim that my self worth is particularly high, but I am getting better. I just don't understand how you came to that... You mentioned your first Flight, but it takes more than one idiot." She reaches into the basket for a carob nut, popping the small morsel into her mouth. "Also thinking about... Other things about you. About the other day. It was very nice, other than the sadness that caused it."
Blush. Nari ducks her head and just lifts a shoulder. "I was Fostered at Benden. Carlin's brood were all so very.. boisterous. The girls in particular tended to point out how... different I was than they were." Shaking her head and selecting a nut from the basket she pops it into her mouth, chewing slowly as she lifts her gaze to meet Dara's shyly. "And, yes. I've found myself thinking of it myself."
"I am forced to wonder what would have happened were you fostered here, or flat-out born here. Nothing wrong with being different. Faranth knows that if there was, I'd be in horrible amounts of trouble." She takes a small sip from the wineskin. "It's hard, though, to be different when others constantly berate you for it. It's led to some difficult lessons." She sets the skin down, and looks away from Nari and towards the deserted kitchens. "What do you think about it?"
"I... don't know." Nari admits softly. "It was... extremely nice." Nari seems bashful again, picking her words carefully. "And I don't know. Perhaps I wouldn't have been the same. Perhaps it isn't so bad that I am me."
Essdara looks back over at her and is quiet for a few moments. "No." She says, finally. "No, it's good that you are you. I like you. I just wish there had been less pain in making you you, that's all." She lapses quiet again for a moment. "Nari... Nari, I have, I admit, a complicated life. I'm still figuring a lot of things out in it, and I have some pains of my own that I am still coming to terms with. But I want to know you more. And I don't want the other day to be a one-off thing."
Nari is quiet for a long time and then nods, slowly. "I... I could really use a friend right now." The admission seems to make the greenrider a bit sad. "As for the rest, I think... I think you are incredibly sweet, Dara. And what you did helped, more than I think you know. I... I can't guarantee anything. I'm in such a confused space right now that I can't. But I'm not saying no to anything, okay?"
Essdara nods, offering a gentle smile. "Not asking for any promises, not asking for anything in particular. I just wanted you to know that. That you are wanted. I would never try to hold you back from whatever might happen, or try to replace other people. But I do like you." A small smile. "And I could use a friend as well. Mine have all been remarkably scarce of late. Or I have, not quite sure which, amounts to the same thing though."
"I like you too, Dara." Nari says softly. She plays with her mug of klah quietly. "And... I don't really see my options as that wide open at the moment. So." She shrugs a bit. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me Dara. Really."
Essdara tilts her head a bit, and smiles. "I haven't done anything but be your friend. Well, maybe a bit more, but... And you do have options, very many of them. There's a whole weyr of options, a whole world. You've a beautiful dragon who will take you anywhere you want to go. Never think you don't have them." She's quiet a moment. "Can I say something, Nari? That I probably shouldn't?"
Nari looks curious, head tilted to the side. "You can tell me anything you'd like, Dara." Nari lifts her mug for a drink, eyes on the other girl.
For a moment, Dara just looks at her, a curious little smile on her face. Then, she closes ehr eyes a moment and takes a breath, before looking at her with a more serious expression. "Nari, talk to him. Not because he might love you, you know my feelings on that. But because it helps. Because avoiding her for weeks didn't make the pain any less, and didn't make it any easier when we finally talked. Talk to him, because until you do, you are trapped. Trapped in your despair, trapped in your love for him, trapped in it all. And I want you to be free, you deserve that freedom." She glances away. "I know it's not my place to say that, but it's how I feel."
Nari sets her mug down and reaches for Dara's hand. She curls her fingers around the cook's gently and squeezes. "Thank you. I... I sort of planned on it. But... that's incredibly good advice. And I plan on taking it." Tentatively, Nari lifts Dara's hand up to her mouth and places a soft kiss on her knuckles.
Essdara looks back at her with a gentle smile, returning the squeeze. "I wish I could make that easier for you, Nari. I wish I could make all of this easier. But you are a strong and wonderful woman, and I know you will get through this. And you know if you need me, I'm usually here, or someone here will know." A soft blush across her cheeks emerges at that kiss, and a pleased smile. "Or even if you just get lonely or bored."
"Trust me. I'll come by." Nari sets her mug aside and then releases Dara's hand. "But. On that note. I should go find D'ven before my courage fails me."
Essdara nods, rising to her feet. "Good luck, Nari, and best wishes in it. No matter what happens, you know you're not alone." A crooked smile, "Just remember, he's D'ven. You've known him since you were thirteen, probably as well as he knows himself. You know you'll come out of this friends."
Nari flashes a bit of a grin and nods as she slips out of the kitchens.