Drama!
Who: Anaddui, Asynnida, Naros, Essdara
Where: Anaddui's Weyr
Comment: Dara's relationships collide.
Anaddui slips from Aurenth's back and helps Dara down. Taking the basket from its rope on the green's neck, she steps into the weyr and invites the others inside. Its warm and dry inside. "Come and sit down and make yourselves comfortable." SHe says in a friendly manner.
Essdara slips down off the green with a smile, moving towards the inside of the weyr with Ana. "Thanks for having us up, hon. After this long of captivity with iwnter, I don't get why the caverns are so crowded with spring here." She shifts a bit, glancing back at the others who came back with the dragon.
Naros is still grinning vaguely after the flight, and sadly being comfortably cozy with three women (technically four?) probably isn't the reason. Well okay one of the women might be. As he slips off of Aurenth he murmurs a repeated, "Thank you." to Dragon and Rider. He still smiles bemusedly as he looks distracted as he murmurs to himself, undoubtedly thoughts about the flight up. His eyes look absently around the area, but it's clear he almost doesn't see it as he continues looking back towards the Dragon and making small airplane models with his hands and moving them through the air as if practicing thoughtfully.
Asynnida slips off from the green, keeping silent with awe written on her face. The runner then glances over at Anaddui and Essdara, flushing a shade of red and shuffling herself shyly. She takes to shifting herself slowly and slightly away from everyone, quite uneasy by the looks of it.
Anaddui puts the basket on the table and begins to unpack the various foods inside. The bowl of stew hasn't spilt, and the rider sighs happily. She goes to grab spare bowls and plates and cutlery, waving to everyone to please sit down. "Come on, make yourselves comfortable. It's going to be much quieter here. Dara, do you know how to break seals?" She juggles the bottle of wine that was a gift from another rider.
Essdara smiles a bit and reaches for the bottle. "'Course I do, hon." Her voice is a bit quiet, but she deftly sets about opening the wine bottle before offering it back. "At least the food is good tonight, dinner gets spotty sometimes..."
Naros makes his way towards the group again as Anaddui gestures. He offers solemnly, "It's very different. The riding versus watching. The greens are so very much more active. I don't think they glide as much... which is strange since they're smaller. But maybe that's just because there were four of them." Clearly he's not an expert on the subject of dragons and their flying but it's also clear he's utterly distracted by it.
Asynnida skitters in a bit, settling in a seat and pressing her lips together as she takes to looking around. Flushing a darker shade as she grows more uncomfortable and shifts herself restlessly. The runner offers nothing still, simply silence.
Anaddui notes the tension in the room and begins to wonder what's going on. Shrugging, she tuck into the stew. "She's one of the more agile greens out there, Naros." Anaddui smiles. "And she's strong; see how she carried all of us with no trouble? And yeah, the cavern was so noisy! Moreso than usual. Glad to have my own weyr to retreat to. Wine, anyone?"
Essdara's answer is quick. "No, thank you." She looks to Asynnida a moment,with an almost visible wince, before turning back to Anaddui. "Aurenth is a superb flier, there is noone who can deny that." She says. "And I envy you having somewhere to hide from the world. It's something I desire often."
Naros nods at Anaddui, "Very strong. But then I suppose they all are. Does stronger make them a better flier?" He asks of Anaddui curiously finally looking over at her curiously. Continuing to be utterly oblivious of tension and filling up conversation. He does add to Essdara, "You could hang around the forges, few people go there when they're being worked, the heat and the noise. But if you get used to it you can tune the noise right out you just get used to it the steady rhythm and beats. At least the good smiths are steady. Some apprentices..." He sniffs mildly, as if he wasn't an apprentice.
Asynnida gives a small nod of her head for the offer, "Not much, please... If you don't mind." The runner offers, flushing a bit. No, she's not looking at Dara nor is she looking at Anaddui much. Nor Naros. She distracts herself by looking at her feet, keeping an intense gaze there. "Must be nice... Having a place alone... Like this..." She presses her lips together after that, simply allowing silence to take over again.
Anaddui cocks her head. "Well, stronger just means they can carry more weight and have more stamina. Aurenth has that over shorter distances the more weight she carries. Agility is more measured in how flexible they are; like in Fall how quickly they can dodge and flame a clump of Thread." Nodding to Asynnida, she pours a small measure of wine into a glass and passes it over to the runner. "Naros? Or are you a bit young for this?" The greenrider grins. "Oh, Dara, you are always welcome here. You know that." Aurenth sticks her head into the room to keep it out of the wind, but leave enough room for the guests. Her meaty breath steams over Naros briefly as she snorts.
Essdara nods softly, "I know, Ana, it's just hard to find you most of the time, and I don't like just showing up without asking first. And this is /your/ retreat, not mine." She looks over to Asynnida, and forces a smile. "One of the perks of risking your life every few days to keep the rest of us safe." She looks to Naros. "THat's louder than I can take, I fear. Usually, I go to the hatching grounds..."
Naros blinks, belatedly at the wine. He looks confused for a moment, and then ahs. Apparantly since the wine didn't have anything to do with his thoughts it got forgotten. He draws himself up a bit, "I'm not too young for it. I just don't usually drink it much, a little bit shouldn't be bad." He after all isn't exactly what one might call tiny. He blinks then, not facing the creature he glances around a moment, "Did you get steam baths in he...?" He starts to turn his head and yelps in surprise eyes widening before offering a careful, "Mmm hello again." He offers to Aurenth before looking back to Anaddui and looking thoughtful. "Is that mostly decided at birth or does training and upbringing greatly affect it? The agility that is?" He does give Essdara a nod and a mild, 'ah'. But it's just an absent thing before looking back to Anaddui again.
Asynnida takes the wine, offering a small smile. She takes a small sip of it and takes to listening quietly. She glances over at Dara, sighing a bit. "Please... Don't smile like that..." She murmurs and then distracts herself by looking at the wine.
Anaddui nods again. "Mostly it's genetic, yes. But much of it comes from training. Some of it is due to the food they eat too; foods high in metals seem to help with the strength of the bones and muscles." She twirls her glass of wine before giving Essdara a nervous smile. Something is going on, but she knows Dara will tell her when she's ready. Pouring a glass of wine for Naros, she pushes it over to him and grins. "She likes you." Aurenth puts her head down on the edge of the rug. Hey, it's cold out there! "Asynnida, do you want something to eat?" The greenrider offers.
Naros arches a brow at that, "The foods they eat?" He looks thoughtful, "Maybe the composition affects. Hmmm but no it can't be like alloying. Well I suppose I could compare input vs output but..." He wrinkles his nose, and glances at Aurenth for long moments before shaking his head, "Nevermind I'm sure it can't be that important." Naros then blinks at Anaddui, "Really?" He looks to Aurenth again studying, "Well she's a fascinating crea...erhh person? I'm sorry what's the polite way to speak to them?" He clears his throat and then offers apologetically, "I'm still new to this, I'm not weyrborn." Asynnida and Essdara and their byplay gets an absent look but.. hmmm learn about dragons and study one, or pay attention to Essdara and her mayhem. Apparantly Aurenth wins out. Though he continues to smile pleasantly enough.
Essdara's smile fades at syn's request, and she looks down with a flush. She glanes at Naros again, and for a moment the expression on her face shows the desire for him not to be here; it's so hard smoothing things over with someone outside. She sighs softly and looks back and forth between Ana and Asynnida a moment, distraught.
Asynnida nods her head a bit, "If.. it's not... Too much trouble?" The runner keeps quiet then, glancing at Dara then back towards the wine. She simply takes to twirling what little is left in the cup, not looking up anymore and just distracting herself.
Anaddui notes the distraught Dara and wrinkles of worry appear on her mouth. Seeing that Asynnida's glass is nearly empty, she offers a refill, as well as a generous portion of the stew. "Bread, Syn? To mop it up?" Aurenth's prescence seems to fascinate the apprentice Smith and Ana is more than willing to answer any questions. "Yes, she does like you. Just address her as Aurenth, that way you won't confuse her." She winks.
Naros nods then, "A very fascinating Aurenth then." He offers contently. He gives an absent look over the rest of the group for a moment longer then he's back to looking at Aurenth and asks, "How old, are you?"
Essdara glances at Naros; he's as distracted as he is going to get. She looks to ASynnida, and then to Anaddui, with a soft sigh. "Ana? Umm. Well." A great, articulate start. Another sigh, and a deep breath. "I think we're a bit tense cause, umm, we've kinda been close the last few days..." She looks down. "I've never been good at restraint, and I'm, ummm. Well, she's really nice. And I've not done /anything/ since before turn's end..." A blush, but she looks up, a bit defiant. "And, well. I want more, too." She looks to Asynnida, and back. "With you. And with her. And I know I am not saying this well, but I have to say something or one of us is going to end up fainting from the nervousness."
Asynnida shakes her head, "No thank you..." She murmurs to both wine and bread. She finishes off her wine and takes a bit if the stew into her mouth. The runner doesn't say anything, simply listening to Dara before she simply turns a dark red. Her gaze moves towards Dara, staring at her for a moment before she looks to the stew and stares at it without another word.
Anaddui stares at Essdara blankly for a moment, letting the words sink in. "You mean, you've been with her..." She points to Asynnida. "And you weren't going to tell me? Huh, good thing the living cavern was so crowded tonight, or I might never have found out." Aurenth lets out a low rumble. "So who do you want; me or her? You have to decide, as unfair as that sounds. Get back to me if you have to, but I want to know where we stand." She crosses her arms angrily. Naros is forgotten for the moment.
Naros seems content to be distracted for most of the time. That is until Aurenth lets out a rumble then he's jumping back a bit in confusion he looks at Anaddui, and then sees that she has her arms crossed angrily. He lets out an almost wailed and confused, "What did I do!?" He looks from Rider to Dragon, in confusion. Then the apprentice freezes a moment, he pauses and lets the last few seconds replay in his mind and then coughs, "Oh...Ooooooh. Oh?" The last curious one gets a look between Asynnida and Anaddui, after all Essdara he knew about. His eyes though do widen and he looks almost like he's blushing and then makes a mental note to invent an invisibility machine later while he looks for some corner to stare at.
Essdara frowns, softly. "It's not like that, Ana. I seek to hide nothing from you, but I certainly don't get much chance to actually tell you anything, except when I happen to run into you when you have a few minutes to spare." She shifts her weight with that defiant expression hardening. "And I will not choose. Dragonriders are not, by nature, monogamous. You can't promise me that you will be, and I don't want you to try. You know who I am, Ana. You know what I've been like. I am sorry this is how that came out. I would have preffered it otherwise. But I didn't get that choice. If I'm not good enough as I am, as I have become in no small part for you, then that is your choice. But it won't change my loving you, and it won't change my caring for my friends, and wanting to share something very special with them."
Asynnida simply keeps as she is, not saying a word, yet. She glances over at Dara, giving her a look. But, she says nothing. She simply turns her gaze back towards the stew and returns to eating it in silence. "I'm not really a choice..." She finally does offer something, glancing over at Naros but not saying anything towards him either. The runner shifts herself uncomfortably and tries to shrink, somehow.
Anadduis glare softens after Essdara has spoken. "Oh Dara, I didn't mean to sound like that." Her face twists into anguish. "I don't want to hurt you, and I know that when Aurenth rises things will happen that I wish wouldn't. I want to be with you and you alone. I'm different in that way. My love for you will never change, and Aurenth loves you too, you know that?" The green snorts softly, eyeing Dara to see how she'll react to all this. "You didn't do anything." Ana waves distractedly to Naros. "She could see I was upset is all. Dragon/human bonds are like that; what I feel she feels and vice-a-versa." Back to Dara. "I know who you are, and I don't want you to change." Her tone is almost pleading. "Don't be angry with me, I just got a shock. I know I'm busy, but I'm never too busy for you!"
Naros looks vaguely discomfited for a moment before he regains his usual absentness. He nods at Ana, "Yes.. of course. It still takes... getting used to." He admits. He considers if humming might be good. He glances back and forth along the group turning to face the dragon a bit more. It's after all.... safer.
Essdara closes her eyes a long moment. "I am sorry, Anaddui. I am. I am trying, very hard, to be what you need." She opens her eyes and sighs. "I think dinner is about done for us. Ana... Let's talk later? I think... We both need to think a little."
Asynnida is silently making her way away from the other two, simply waiting to be released. Not like she can leave on her own..
Anaddui sits down limply, as Aurenth allows the three to clamber aboard so she can drop them off in the bowl to make their way home. "Thanks for coming. I'm sorry it dodn't turn out as I wanted it to. Goodnight." She turns her face away so no-one can see the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Essdara has, thankfully, already turned away, her own eyes wet as she accepts the ride down.
***** Asynnida and Essdara are taken to the bowl by Auranth *****
Aurenth lands and unloads her passengers, and is quickly off to comfort her rider. Dara moves to Syn's side, lightly touching her arm with a sad and scared look. "Synnie? I'm sorry..." She says softly, and totally inadequetly.
Asynnida recoils from Dara slightly, shaking her head. "Don't..." She says softly, "You don't need to be." The runner says nothing else, standing still as if debating what direction to go.
Essdara winces, and lets her hand fall limply. "I've hurt you, and I hate that. I never, ever want that. I care about you very much, Synnie. Please don't doubt that. I'm sorry."
Asynnida shakes her head a bit, "No.." She murmurs softly, "You didn't.." The runner drops her head, allowing her hair to block her face from view. "You don't have to care... I didn't..." It's obvious she's lying, her tone uneasy, wavering with tears.
Essdara steps back closer, arms half lifting towards Syn, though she manages to hold herself back from hugging. "I should have talked with you more, made sure you understood me better, made sure you knew what I was." She looks down. "I was selfish, and greedy, and didn't think things through properly. I'm sorry, you deserved better for your first kiss, someone who can love only you."
Asynnida doesn't move, shaking her head. "It's okay... Dara.." She murmurs, brushing at her eyes. "It's okay.. It's okay.. No one would love only me, so, I understand that you love someone else." She keeps her head down, still brushing her eyes again. "It doesn't matter..."
Essdara does hug her now, reaching around to hug her tightly, sniffling. "No, Synnie, no. Someone will, if that's what you want. Someone will. I just..." She sighs, softly. "You didn't know me a few months ago, before the turn's end party. You don't know what I was like. I thought I was better than that now." She uses one hand to try to nudge her face up, pushing under her chin. "Synnie, I care about you very much. I didn't lightly choose to want to kiss you, to want to have more with you. I meant what I said to Ana. I haven't been with anyone else since...
Essdara does hug her now, reaching around to hug her tightly, sniffling. "No, Synnie, no. Someone will, if that's what you want. Someone will. I just..." She sighs, softly. "You didn't know me a few months ago, before the turn's end party. You don't know what I was like. I thought I was better than that now." She uses one hand to try to nudge her face up, pushing under her chin. "Synnie, I care about you very much. I didn't lightly choose to want to kiss you, to want to have more with you. I meant what I said to Ana. I haven't been with anyone else since..." She pauses, and sighs. "Just /after/ that sharding party. I don't give myself away lightly anymore. I wanted you, because you are special, and wonderful, and someone very much worth loving. And that hasn't changed."
Asynnida crumples into Dara, allowing her to hug her with no objections. The runner is strembling with unshed tears. "I know I don't... Didn't..." She does look towards Dara, reluctantly after the pushing of her chin. "Dara..." The runner closes her eyes, not allowing her tears. "If you say so, Dara... No one would love me, I know that... Though.."
Essdara gives her cheeks each a soft kiss, one soft one under each eye, where the tears will be all too soon. "I love you, Synnie. It's different than her, but I do. And I am sorry I ever stole your heart away. I want you in my life, so much, but I had no right." She hugs close to her, sniffling now herself as she buries her face in Syn's shoulder. "I regret hurting you. But I cherish what we've had. And I don't want it to stop."
Asynnida shakes her head a bit,, in denial. "No, you don't..." She whisper sadly, the tears slowly slipping down. The runner brushes them away, looking at Dara closely. "Why...?" She asks softly, then, breaking into more tears. "Dara..." She murmurs out through soft sobs, "Don't... tell anyone... You saw me.. crying..."
Essdara pets her back softly, "Shhh, love, shh. It's ok. I wouldn't tell anyone. And I do, hard as it is to see. I'm just not wired right. I can't... Be with one person, like that. I wish I could be. Faranth knows, you deserve happiness, not tears."
Asynnida shakes her head a bit, rubbing at her eyes a bit more. "Thank you... Dara..." The runner mumbles, sniffling a bit. "I'm sorry Dara... Maybe.. I should... Go.."
Essdara doesn't stop petting, and makes no move to let her go, let alone move away. "And what good would that do yu, Synnie? At least here, now, I can try to comfort you some, instead of you going off to the dorms, or some quiet corner, to cry yourself to sleep." A soft kiss in her hair. "What can I do for you, Synnie? How can I make this right?"
Asynnida shrugs her shoulders, closing her eyes. "Maybe that would be best? So I could sleep..." She whispers, allowing no more tears to fall and she simply stays with Dara. "I don't know. It's the first time.. I've ever had this happen... To me..." The runner continues her crying then, no tears and keeping it in silence.
Essdara sighs softly, and her own tears take the place of Asynnida's own. "My love... I don't want to break your heart. I want to make you happy, make you whole. You are so special, and I am such an idiot to have hurt you."
Asynnida sighs softly, shaking her head. "It's okay... I'll get over it..." She offers, smiling a bit. "I'm not special at all, so, you don't need to worry as much. The hurt wull die eventually, Dara..." The runner furrows her brows then, "Maybe, I'm not meant to love girls... Or... Anyone.."
Essdara hugs tighter. "Stop that. You are special. And you are meant to love." She pulls back a little, her eyes seeking out Syn's own, matching her gaze; tears may make her eyes damp, but her conviction is firm. "Synnie, I've only felt for a very few people what led me to you. Very, very few. And I do, and always will, care deeply for you. I love you, as I've only imagined I would. I love her, yes. But I love /you/, too. And my inability to love one person doesn't reflect on your ability to /be/ loved."
Asynnida gives Dara a sad look, wiggling out of Dara's grip. "I'm sorry..." She murmurs softly and then, she's gone. Running away, in who knows what direction.
***** And later that night *****
It's quiet, nighttime in the bowl, a long series of hours after the dinner that wasn't. On the rocky shore near the lake sits Essdara, shrouded in darkness and staring out at the water beyond. She is not crying, but her puffy eyes and the tracks of tears are plain on her face, barely illuminated by the pale moon when it drifts outisde the clouds.
Anaddui slides from Aurenth's neck and pats her green's hide affectionately. She's feeling wrung out and tired from hours of crying. The dragon thought it wise she take a walk, so here she is. Ana sees a hunched over figure and her heart skips a beat. Can it be...? Is -that- why Aurenth wanted her here? Sneaky dragon indeed. But does Dara want to talk to her? Hope washes over her face, revealed as the moon skitters from behind a cloud. "Dara...? Is that you?" The weyrling bites her lip nervously.
Essdara almost smiles. Almost. She glances back, very briefly, before resuming her water staring. "Ana." She says, softly. "And Aurenth, of course. Would you like, Ana, to sit with me?"
Anaddui glances over to Aurenth and gives her dragon a stern look. Of course, Aurenth meant well. Hard as it is, Anaddui needs to face Essdara and sort all the trouble out, so she replies "Yes. Yes I would." Lowering herself to the ground gently, she stretches her legs out and puts her hands on either side of her thighs; an open and assertive gesture she hopes. "Would you like to talk about it? I'm always happy to listen." The greenrider waits, silently watching the gentle lap of the waves on the shore.
Essdara nods softly. "I do. I am not sure what to say, though, but I do. I... Am a terrible and stupid woman, Ana. I've hurt you. I've hurt myself. And I hurt Synnie, so much. Neither of you deserve it."
Anaddui grimaces slightly. She had so many things she wanted to say to Dara, but none of it seems to matter anymore. "I...said some nasty things to you tonight. Things I didn't mean. I hurt you too, and I'm very very sorry. They say you always hurt the ones you love the most; we must love each other very much to have done this." A quick, short laugh, then silence again for a moment. "Is Synnie OK? She looked awful when you all left. And Naros; goodness, he's going to think I'm a madwoman."
Essdara shakes her head softly. "No, she's not. She's..." She sighs. "She doesn't have friends. She doesn't think she has worth. She things the best she can do is to hide herself. And I've made that worse. She trusted me. And I have no excuse, nothing I can say to make it better." She looks down. "And you. I love you, so much. I never want to see that kind of pain on your face again, that look like I took my biggest, dullest knife and stabbed you with it." She pulls her knees up to her chest, wraaping her arms around them forehead resting on them. "Why am I like this?"
Anaddui frowns deeply. "Synnie barely said a word tonight, and she acted like she had no right to be visiting me. The way she asked for dinner; it seemed as though she'd never been asked what -she- wanted before and couldn't understand. It must be awful for her. I can...understand...why...you and she..." Ana sighs deeply. "It was painful to hear it, and uncomfortable too, with others being there. I don't mean to be so busy and I don't want it to seem like I don't have time for you. I -always- have time for you. Bar riding Thread, I want you to come to me at any time if you need something." Aurenth snorts softly. Her plan worked; they're talking. "Like what? You? You can't help being you."
Essdara sighs. "I didn't want it like that. Especially him! I slapped him once, you know. Naros. But by the time I realised who was there, what was happening... There was nothing I could do. I hoped, I wished it would be fine, but it wasn't. I could see how uncomfortable she was, and I could see her blaming herself. It's not her fault." She looks over at Ana. "It's not your fault, either, Anaddui. Of course you are busy. You are a rider, a weyrling, and you have a lot more to worry about than worrying about me. And I haven't /done/ anything with her. Les than I've done with you, certainly. I just... I was lonely, and she is very nice, and needed so much to be loved..."
Anaddui manages to smile briefly, and hesitantly puts a hand on Dara's shoulder, brushing her hair slightly with her fingertips before lowering it again. "Naros, I've not had much to do with him. He seemed enraptured by Aurenth and she was lapping up the attention. Quite sickening actually, seeing her behave like that. But kinda cute too. Synnie, well, she could do with a friend or two right now and I don't think a relationship of any kind would be good for her in the fragile state she's in. Might do more damage than good." She pauses for a moment. "I love you Dara. I -want- you. In a way I've never wanted anyone before. That's why it hurt so bad when I found out. I'm strange among riders in that I want to be with one person most of the time. I think it's because of that horrible man back in Nabol. I don't want to feel that way again. Do you understand?"
Essdara flinches softly at the touch, but more again at the words that follow. "I'm strange among non-riders, Ana. I don't know, maybe it's because of who my mom is, or maybe I am just broken. But I don't know if I can promise that. I... I like being with people. I always have. And I don't know that I can trust myself not to, Ana. There are some people, if they offered, I don't know I'd be able to say no. Not everyone... I'm done being that person. But there's still a bit of that in me, and I don't know how to do what you ask." A sigh. "I'm sorry, Ana. You deserve someone better."
Anaddui grabs Essdara's shoulder now. "You are like that and I don't want you to change. I just have to realise sometimes you might be kissing someone else. Like one day soon I'll be with someone else when Aurenth rises. As long as I have your heart, I need to remember it matters not what you do with your body. If I have your love, that's all I need. I do have that, don't I?" She tries to look at Dara's eyes, to try and read something there. What is it she sees?
Essdara looks over at her, tired, scared, and hurting. She raises her hand to cover Ana's on her shoudler, giving a soft squeeze. "You always have, Ana. And you always will." She sighs, and shifts to kneeling then, and puts her arms around Anaddui. The movement is hesitant, as if she is waiting to be told not to. "I love you so much, Ana... Please never doubt that."
Anaddui leans forward to hug Essdara, putting one hand on Dara's thigh and stroking it gently. "That's all I need then." From the shore, Aurenth croons softly. "I don't doubt it, I've just been hurt so many times and I don't want to hurt anymore. I found you; and you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Besides Aurenth." Tears well in her aching eyes, but this time they're tears of joy. "I said before that I'm never too busy for you. Please remember that and come and find me no matter what time of day or night. Aurenth can...sense you in a very special way. She manipulated me into coming to see you tonight and knew where to find you." Ana leans further forward to offer Dara a kiss.
Essdara accepts the kiss, returning it tenderly for a few long moments before she replies, reaching up to stroke her cheek. "You are both, you and Aurenth, the most wonderful people in the world, Ana. And I don't want to hurt you, not now, not ever. I know I have,and I know others have. I am sorry, Ana. I will try to find you. I do, sometimes. Without much luck, clearly. But I always hope, always dream, that you will find me, and bring me home with you. Every night, every morning..."
Anaddui kisses Dara again, having missed doing that. "I wish very much that you could live with Aurenth and I. But I don't think the Weyr staff would let us. At any rate, I need to be getting back to my weyr. You're welcome to come and stay the night; I need to be up early so I can take you back in the morning. A night of snuggling, how does that sound?"
Essdara tilts her head softly. "Why wouldn't they let us? And I would like that very much, Ana, beloved." She kisses again, with more feeling and enthusiasm. "Can I say I am sorry, one last time, Ana?"
Anaddui grins and hauls herself to her feet, offering Dara a hand up. "I don't know, would they really let us live together? It's certainly something to think about. Don't say your sorry again honey, I don't need to hear it again. I know how bad you feel and I accept your apology wholeheartedly. Now, up you go. Aurenth is waiting."
Essdara accepts the hand, and the offer, moving with Ana towards the dragon. "Rysia lived with K'sar, before he..." She trails that off, and sighs. "And Tavaly is with T'zen now. But we don't need to rush, dearheart."
Anaddui winces a little at the mention of K'sar. "Then we'll try for it when we're both ready." Hauling herself up onto Aurenth, she offers Essdara a hand up.
***** They fly to Anaddui's Weyr *****
Essdara slides down, and ducks over to hugs Ana tightly. "I will be ready when you are, Ana. I love you, and that won't change." A soft kiss. "We'll see each other more?"
Anaddui slides down too, and steps into her cosy weyr. The bed is made and looking warm, so she removes her jacket and leather pants and pulls back the covers. "Come join me love? And yes, we -will- see each other more."
Essdara follows her love into the room, and into bed, for a much needed night of being held, and being kissed.
Where: Anaddui's Weyr
Comment: Dara's relationships collide.
Anaddui slips from Aurenth's back and helps Dara down. Taking the basket from its rope on the green's neck, she steps into the weyr and invites the others inside. Its warm and dry inside. "Come and sit down and make yourselves comfortable." SHe says in a friendly manner.
Essdara slips down off the green with a smile, moving towards the inside of the weyr with Ana. "Thanks for having us up, hon. After this long of captivity with iwnter, I don't get why the caverns are so crowded with spring here." She shifts a bit, glancing back at the others who came back with the dragon.
Naros is still grinning vaguely after the flight, and sadly being comfortably cozy with three women (technically four?) probably isn't the reason. Well okay one of the women might be. As he slips off of Aurenth he murmurs a repeated, "Thank you." to Dragon and Rider. He still smiles bemusedly as he looks distracted as he murmurs to himself, undoubtedly thoughts about the flight up. His eyes look absently around the area, but it's clear he almost doesn't see it as he continues looking back towards the Dragon and making small airplane models with his hands and moving them through the air as if practicing thoughtfully.
Asynnida slips off from the green, keeping silent with awe written on her face. The runner then glances over at Anaddui and Essdara, flushing a shade of red and shuffling herself shyly. She takes to shifting herself slowly and slightly away from everyone, quite uneasy by the looks of it.
Anaddui puts the basket on the table and begins to unpack the various foods inside. The bowl of stew hasn't spilt, and the rider sighs happily. She goes to grab spare bowls and plates and cutlery, waving to everyone to please sit down. "Come on, make yourselves comfortable. It's going to be much quieter here. Dara, do you know how to break seals?" She juggles the bottle of wine that was a gift from another rider.
Essdara smiles a bit and reaches for the bottle. "'Course I do, hon." Her voice is a bit quiet, but she deftly sets about opening the wine bottle before offering it back. "At least the food is good tonight, dinner gets spotty sometimes..."
Naros makes his way towards the group again as Anaddui gestures. He offers solemnly, "It's very different. The riding versus watching. The greens are so very much more active. I don't think they glide as much... which is strange since they're smaller. But maybe that's just because there were four of them." Clearly he's not an expert on the subject of dragons and their flying but it's also clear he's utterly distracted by it.
Asynnida skitters in a bit, settling in a seat and pressing her lips together as she takes to looking around. Flushing a darker shade as she grows more uncomfortable and shifts herself restlessly. The runner offers nothing still, simply silence.
Anaddui notes the tension in the room and begins to wonder what's going on. Shrugging, she tuck into the stew. "She's one of the more agile greens out there, Naros." Anaddui smiles. "And she's strong; see how she carried all of us with no trouble? And yeah, the cavern was so noisy! Moreso than usual. Glad to have my own weyr to retreat to. Wine, anyone?"
Essdara's answer is quick. "No, thank you." She looks to Asynnida a moment,with an almost visible wince, before turning back to Anaddui. "Aurenth is a superb flier, there is noone who can deny that." She says. "And I envy you having somewhere to hide from the world. It's something I desire often."
Naros nods at Anaddui, "Very strong. But then I suppose they all are. Does stronger make them a better flier?" He asks of Anaddui curiously finally looking over at her curiously. Continuing to be utterly oblivious of tension and filling up conversation. He does add to Essdara, "You could hang around the forges, few people go there when they're being worked, the heat and the noise. But if you get used to it you can tune the noise right out you just get used to it the steady rhythm and beats. At least the good smiths are steady. Some apprentices..." He sniffs mildly, as if he wasn't an apprentice.
Asynnida gives a small nod of her head for the offer, "Not much, please... If you don't mind." The runner offers, flushing a bit. No, she's not looking at Dara nor is she looking at Anaddui much. Nor Naros. She distracts herself by looking at her feet, keeping an intense gaze there. "Must be nice... Having a place alone... Like this..." She presses her lips together after that, simply allowing silence to take over again.
Anaddui cocks her head. "Well, stronger just means they can carry more weight and have more stamina. Aurenth has that over shorter distances the more weight she carries. Agility is more measured in how flexible they are; like in Fall how quickly they can dodge and flame a clump of Thread." Nodding to Asynnida, she pours a small measure of wine into a glass and passes it over to the runner. "Naros? Or are you a bit young for this?" The greenrider grins. "Oh, Dara, you are always welcome here. You know that." Aurenth sticks her head into the room to keep it out of the wind, but leave enough room for the guests. Her meaty breath steams over Naros briefly as she snorts.
Essdara nods softly, "I know, Ana, it's just hard to find you most of the time, and I don't like just showing up without asking first. And this is /your/ retreat, not mine." She looks over to Asynnida, and forces a smile. "One of the perks of risking your life every few days to keep the rest of us safe." She looks to Naros. "THat's louder than I can take, I fear. Usually, I go to the hatching grounds..."
Naros blinks, belatedly at the wine. He looks confused for a moment, and then ahs. Apparantly since the wine didn't have anything to do with his thoughts it got forgotten. He draws himself up a bit, "I'm not too young for it. I just don't usually drink it much, a little bit shouldn't be bad." He after all isn't exactly what one might call tiny. He blinks then, not facing the creature he glances around a moment, "Did you get steam baths in he...?" He starts to turn his head and yelps in surprise eyes widening before offering a careful, "Mmm hello again." He offers to Aurenth before looking back to Anaddui and looking thoughtful. "Is that mostly decided at birth or does training and upbringing greatly affect it? The agility that is?" He does give Essdara a nod and a mild, 'ah'. But it's just an absent thing before looking back to Anaddui again.
Asynnida takes the wine, offering a small smile. She takes a small sip of it and takes to listening quietly. She glances over at Dara, sighing a bit. "Please... Don't smile like that..." She murmurs and then distracts herself by looking at the wine.
Anaddui nods again. "Mostly it's genetic, yes. But much of it comes from training. Some of it is due to the food they eat too; foods high in metals seem to help with the strength of the bones and muscles." She twirls her glass of wine before giving Essdara a nervous smile. Something is going on, but she knows Dara will tell her when she's ready. Pouring a glass of wine for Naros, she pushes it over to him and grins. "She likes you." Aurenth puts her head down on the edge of the rug. Hey, it's cold out there! "Asynnida, do you want something to eat?" The greenrider offers.
Naros arches a brow at that, "The foods they eat?" He looks thoughtful, "Maybe the composition affects. Hmmm but no it can't be like alloying. Well I suppose I could compare input vs output but..." He wrinkles his nose, and glances at Aurenth for long moments before shaking his head, "Nevermind I'm sure it can't be that important." Naros then blinks at Anaddui, "Really?" He looks to Aurenth again studying, "Well she's a fascinating crea...erhh person? I'm sorry what's the polite way to speak to them?" He clears his throat and then offers apologetically, "I'm still new to this, I'm not weyrborn." Asynnida and Essdara and their byplay gets an absent look but.. hmmm learn about dragons and study one, or pay attention to Essdara and her mayhem. Apparantly Aurenth wins out. Though he continues to smile pleasantly enough.
Essdara's smile fades at syn's request, and she looks down with a flush. She glanes at Naros again, and for a moment the expression on her face shows the desire for him not to be here; it's so hard smoothing things over with someone outside. She sighs softly and looks back and forth between Ana and Asynnida a moment, distraught.
Asynnida nods her head a bit, "If.. it's not... Too much trouble?" The runner keeps quiet then, glancing at Dara then back towards the wine. She simply takes to twirling what little is left in the cup, not looking up anymore and just distracting herself.
Anaddui notes the distraught Dara and wrinkles of worry appear on her mouth. Seeing that Asynnida's glass is nearly empty, she offers a refill, as well as a generous portion of the stew. "Bread, Syn? To mop it up?" Aurenth's prescence seems to fascinate the apprentice Smith and Ana is more than willing to answer any questions. "Yes, she does like you. Just address her as Aurenth, that way you won't confuse her." She winks.
Naros nods then, "A very fascinating Aurenth then." He offers contently. He gives an absent look over the rest of the group for a moment longer then he's back to looking at Aurenth and asks, "How old, are you?"
Essdara glances at Naros; he's as distracted as he is going to get. She looks to ASynnida, and then to Anaddui, with a soft sigh. "Ana? Umm. Well." A great, articulate start. Another sigh, and a deep breath. "I think we're a bit tense cause, umm, we've kinda been close the last few days..." She looks down. "I've never been good at restraint, and I'm, ummm. Well, she's really nice. And I've not done /anything/ since before turn's end..." A blush, but she looks up, a bit defiant. "And, well. I want more, too." She looks to Asynnida, and back. "With you. And with her. And I know I am not saying this well, but I have to say something or one of us is going to end up fainting from the nervousness."
Asynnida shakes her head, "No thank you..." She murmurs to both wine and bread. She finishes off her wine and takes a bit if the stew into her mouth. The runner doesn't say anything, simply listening to Dara before she simply turns a dark red. Her gaze moves towards Dara, staring at her for a moment before she looks to the stew and stares at it without another word.
Anaddui stares at Essdara blankly for a moment, letting the words sink in. "You mean, you've been with her..." She points to Asynnida. "And you weren't going to tell me? Huh, good thing the living cavern was so crowded tonight, or I might never have found out." Aurenth lets out a low rumble. "So who do you want; me or her? You have to decide, as unfair as that sounds. Get back to me if you have to, but I want to know where we stand." She crosses her arms angrily. Naros is forgotten for the moment.
Naros seems content to be distracted for most of the time. That is until Aurenth lets out a rumble then he's jumping back a bit in confusion he looks at Anaddui, and then sees that she has her arms crossed angrily. He lets out an almost wailed and confused, "What did I do!?" He looks from Rider to Dragon, in confusion. Then the apprentice freezes a moment, he pauses and lets the last few seconds replay in his mind and then coughs, "Oh...Ooooooh. Oh?" The last curious one gets a look between Asynnida and Anaddui, after all Essdara he knew about. His eyes though do widen and he looks almost like he's blushing and then makes a mental note to invent an invisibility machine later while he looks for some corner to stare at.
Essdara frowns, softly. "It's not like that, Ana. I seek to hide nothing from you, but I certainly don't get much chance to actually tell you anything, except when I happen to run into you when you have a few minutes to spare." She shifts her weight with that defiant expression hardening. "And I will not choose. Dragonriders are not, by nature, monogamous. You can't promise me that you will be, and I don't want you to try. You know who I am, Ana. You know what I've been like. I am sorry this is how that came out. I would have preffered it otherwise. But I didn't get that choice. If I'm not good enough as I am, as I have become in no small part for you, then that is your choice. But it won't change my loving you, and it won't change my caring for my friends, and wanting to share something very special with them."
Asynnida simply keeps as she is, not saying a word, yet. She glances over at Dara, giving her a look. But, she says nothing. She simply turns her gaze back towards the stew and returns to eating it in silence. "I'm not really a choice..." She finally does offer something, glancing over at Naros but not saying anything towards him either. The runner shifts herself uncomfortably and tries to shrink, somehow.
Anadduis glare softens after Essdara has spoken. "Oh Dara, I didn't mean to sound like that." Her face twists into anguish. "I don't want to hurt you, and I know that when Aurenth rises things will happen that I wish wouldn't. I want to be with you and you alone. I'm different in that way. My love for you will never change, and Aurenth loves you too, you know that?" The green snorts softly, eyeing Dara to see how she'll react to all this. "You didn't do anything." Ana waves distractedly to Naros. "She could see I was upset is all. Dragon/human bonds are like that; what I feel she feels and vice-a-versa." Back to Dara. "I know who you are, and I don't want you to change." Her tone is almost pleading. "Don't be angry with me, I just got a shock. I know I'm busy, but I'm never too busy for you!"
Naros looks vaguely discomfited for a moment before he regains his usual absentness. He nods at Ana, "Yes.. of course. It still takes... getting used to." He admits. He considers if humming might be good. He glances back and forth along the group turning to face the dragon a bit more. It's after all.... safer.
Essdara closes her eyes a long moment. "I am sorry, Anaddui. I am. I am trying, very hard, to be what you need." She opens her eyes and sighs. "I think dinner is about done for us. Ana... Let's talk later? I think... We both need to think a little."
Asynnida is silently making her way away from the other two, simply waiting to be released. Not like she can leave on her own..
Anaddui sits down limply, as Aurenth allows the three to clamber aboard so she can drop them off in the bowl to make their way home. "Thanks for coming. I'm sorry it dodn't turn out as I wanted it to. Goodnight." She turns her face away so no-one can see the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Essdara has, thankfully, already turned away, her own eyes wet as she accepts the ride down.
***** Asynnida and Essdara are taken to the bowl by Auranth *****
Aurenth lands and unloads her passengers, and is quickly off to comfort her rider. Dara moves to Syn's side, lightly touching her arm with a sad and scared look. "Synnie? I'm sorry..." She says softly, and totally inadequetly.
Asynnida recoils from Dara slightly, shaking her head. "Don't..." She says softly, "You don't need to be." The runner says nothing else, standing still as if debating what direction to go.
Essdara winces, and lets her hand fall limply. "I've hurt you, and I hate that. I never, ever want that. I care about you very much, Synnie. Please don't doubt that. I'm sorry."
Asynnida shakes her head a bit, "No.." She murmurs softly, "You didn't.." The runner drops her head, allowing her hair to block her face from view. "You don't have to care... I didn't..." It's obvious she's lying, her tone uneasy, wavering with tears.
Essdara steps back closer, arms half lifting towards Syn, though she manages to hold herself back from hugging. "I should have talked with you more, made sure you understood me better, made sure you knew what I was." She looks down. "I was selfish, and greedy, and didn't think things through properly. I'm sorry, you deserved better for your first kiss, someone who can love only you."
Asynnida doesn't move, shaking her head. "It's okay... Dara.." She murmurs, brushing at her eyes. "It's okay.. It's okay.. No one would love only me, so, I understand that you love someone else." She keeps her head down, still brushing her eyes again. "It doesn't matter..."
Essdara does hug her now, reaching around to hug her tightly, sniffling. "No, Synnie, no. Someone will, if that's what you want. Someone will. I just..." She sighs, softly. "You didn't know me a few months ago, before the turn's end party. You don't know what I was like. I thought I was better than that now." She uses one hand to try to nudge her face up, pushing under her chin. "Synnie, I care about you very much. I didn't lightly choose to want to kiss you, to want to have more with you. I meant what I said to Ana. I haven't been with anyone else since...
Essdara does hug her now, reaching around to hug her tightly, sniffling. "No, Synnie, no. Someone will, if that's what you want. Someone will. I just..." She sighs, softly. "You didn't know me a few months ago, before the turn's end party. You don't know what I was like. I thought I was better than that now." She uses one hand to try to nudge her face up, pushing under her chin. "Synnie, I care about you very much. I didn't lightly choose to want to kiss you, to want to have more with you. I meant what I said to Ana. I haven't been with anyone else since..." She pauses, and sighs. "Just /after/ that sharding party. I don't give myself away lightly anymore. I wanted you, because you are special, and wonderful, and someone very much worth loving. And that hasn't changed."
Asynnida crumples into Dara, allowing her to hug her with no objections. The runner is strembling with unshed tears. "I know I don't... Didn't..." She does look towards Dara, reluctantly after the pushing of her chin. "Dara..." The runner closes her eyes, not allowing her tears. "If you say so, Dara... No one would love me, I know that... Though.."
Essdara gives her cheeks each a soft kiss, one soft one under each eye, where the tears will be all too soon. "I love you, Synnie. It's different than her, but I do. And I am sorry I ever stole your heart away. I want you in my life, so much, but I had no right." She hugs close to her, sniffling now herself as she buries her face in Syn's shoulder. "I regret hurting you. But I cherish what we've had. And I don't want it to stop."
Asynnida shakes her head a bit,, in denial. "No, you don't..." She whisper sadly, the tears slowly slipping down. The runner brushes them away, looking at Dara closely. "Why...?" She asks softly, then, breaking into more tears. "Dara..." She murmurs out through soft sobs, "Don't... tell anyone... You saw me.. crying..."
Essdara pets her back softly, "Shhh, love, shh. It's ok. I wouldn't tell anyone. And I do, hard as it is to see. I'm just not wired right. I can't... Be with one person, like that. I wish I could be. Faranth knows, you deserve happiness, not tears."
Asynnida shakes her head a bit, rubbing at her eyes a bit more. "Thank you... Dara..." The runner mumbles, sniffling a bit. "I'm sorry Dara... Maybe.. I should... Go.."
Essdara doesn't stop petting, and makes no move to let her go, let alone move away. "And what good would that do yu, Synnie? At least here, now, I can try to comfort you some, instead of you going off to the dorms, or some quiet corner, to cry yourself to sleep." A soft kiss in her hair. "What can I do for you, Synnie? How can I make this right?"
Asynnida shrugs her shoulders, closing her eyes. "Maybe that would be best? So I could sleep..." She whispers, allowing no more tears to fall and she simply stays with Dara. "I don't know. It's the first time.. I've ever had this happen... To me..." The runner continues her crying then, no tears and keeping it in silence.
Essdara sighs softly, and her own tears take the place of Asynnida's own. "My love... I don't want to break your heart. I want to make you happy, make you whole. You are so special, and I am such an idiot to have hurt you."
Asynnida sighs softly, shaking her head. "It's okay... I'll get over it..." She offers, smiling a bit. "I'm not special at all, so, you don't need to worry as much. The hurt wull die eventually, Dara..." The runner furrows her brows then, "Maybe, I'm not meant to love girls... Or... Anyone.."
Essdara hugs tighter. "Stop that. You are special. And you are meant to love." She pulls back a little, her eyes seeking out Syn's own, matching her gaze; tears may make her eyes damp, but her conviction is firm. "Synnie, I've only felt for a very few people what led me to you. Very, very few. And I do, and always will, care deeply for you. I love you, as I've only imagined I would. I love her, yes. But I love /you/, too. And my inability to love one person doesn't reflect on your ability to /be/ loved."
Asynnida gives Dara a sad look, wiggling out of Dara's grip. "I'm sorry..." She murmurs softly and then, she's gone. Running away, in who knows what direction.
***** And later that night *****
It's quiet, nighttime in the bowl, a long series of hours after the dinner that wasn't. On the rocky shore near the lake sits Essdara, shrouded in darkness and staring out at the water beyond. She is not crying, but her puffy eyes and the tracks of tears are plain on her face, barely illuminated by the pale moon when it drifts outisde the clouds.
Anaddui slides from Aurenth's neck and pats her green's hide affectionately. She's feeling wrung out and tired from hours of crying. The dragon thought it wise she take a walk, so here she is. Ana sees a hunched over figure and her heart skips a beat. Can it be...? Is -that- why Aurenth wanted her here? Sneaky dragon indeed. But does Dara want to talk to her? Hope washes over her face, revealed as the moon skitters from behind a cloud. "Dara...? Is that you?" The weyrling bites her lip nervously.
Essdara almost smiles. Almost. She glances back, very briefly, before resuming her water staring. "Ana." She says, softly. "And Aurenth, of course. Would you like, Ana, to sit with me?"
Anaddui glances over to Aurenth and gives her dragon a stern look. Of course, Aurenth meant well. Hard as it is, Anaddui needs to face Essdara and sort all the trouble out, so she replies "Yes. Yes I would." Lowering herself to the ground gently, she stretches her legs out and puts her hands on either side of her thighs; an open and assertive gesture she hopes. "Would you like to talk about it? I'm always happy to listen." The greenrider waits, silently watching the gentle lap of the waves on the shore.
Essdara nods softly. "I do. I am not sure what to say, though, but I do. I... Am a terrible and stupid woman, Ana. I've hurt you. I've hurt myself. And I hurt Synnie, so much. Neither of you deserve it."
Anaddui grimaces slightly. She had so many things she wanted to say to Dara, but none of it seems to matter anymore. "I...said some nasty things to you tonight. Things I didn't mean. I hurt you too, and I'm very very sorry. They say you always hurt the ones you love the most; we must love each other very much to have done this." A quick, short laugh, then silence again for a moment. "Is Synnie OK? She looked awful when you all left. And Naros; goodness, he's going to think I'm a madwoman."
Essdara shakes her head softly. "No, she's not. She's..." She sighs. "She doesn't have friends. She doesn't think she has worth. She things the best she can do is to hide herself. And I've made that worse. She trusted me. And I have no excuse, nothing I can say to make it better." She looks down. "And you. I love you, so much. I never want to see that kind of pain on your face again, that look like I took my biggest, dullest knife and stabbed you with it." She pulls her knees up to her chest, wraaping her arms around them forehead resting on them. "Why am I like this?"
Anaddui frowns deeply. "Synnie barely said a word tonight, and she acted like she had no right to be visiting me. The way she asked for dinner; it seemed as though she'd never been asked what -she- wanted before and couldn't understand. It must be awful for her. I can...understand...why...you and she..." Ana sighs deeply. "It was painful to hear it, and uncomfortable too, with others being there. I don't mean to be so busy and I don't want it to seem like I don't have time for you. I -always- have time for you. Bar riding Thread, I want you to come to me at any time if you need something." Aurenth snorts softly. Her plan worked; they're talking. "Like what? You? You can't help being you."
Essdara sighs. "I didn't want it like that. Especially him! I slapped him once, you know. Naros. But by the time I realised who was there, what was happening... There was nothing I could do. I hoped, I wished it would be fine, but it wasn't. I could see how uncomfortable she was, and I could see her blaming herself. It's not her fault." She looks over at Ana. "It's not your fault, either, Anaddui. Of course you are busy. You are a rider, a weyrling, and you have a lot more to worry about than worrying about me. And I haven't /done/ anything with her. Les than I've done with you, certainly. I just... I was lonely, and she is very nice, and needed so much to be loved..."
Anaddui manages to smile briefly, and hesitantly puts a hand on Dara's shoulder, brushing her hair slightly with her fingertips before lowering it again. "Naros, I've not had much to do with him. He seemed enraptured by Aurenth and she was lapping up the attention. Quite sickening actually, seeing her behave like that. But kinda cute too. Synnie, well, she could do with a friend or two right now and I don't think a relationship of any kind would be good for her in the fragile state she's in. Might do more damage than good." She pauses for a moment. "I love you Dara. I -want- you. In a way I've never wanted anyone before. That's why it hurt so bad when I found out. I'm strange among riders in that I want to be with one person most of the time. I think it's because of that horrible man back in Nabol. I don't want to feel that way again. Do you understand?"
Essdara flinches softly at the touch, but more again at the words that follow. "I'm strange among non-riders, Ana. I don't know, maybe it's because of who my mom is, or maybe I am just broken. But I don't know if I can promise that. I... I like being with people. I always have. And I don't know that I can trust myself not to, Ana. There are some people, if they offered, I don't know I'd be able to say no. Not everyone... I'm done being that person. But there's still a bit of that in me, and I don't know how to do what you ask." A sigh. "I'm sorry, Ana. You deserve someone better."
Anaddui grabs Essdara's shoulder now. "You are like that and I don't want you to change. I just have to realise sometimes you might be kissing someone else. Like one day soon I'll be with someone else when Aurenth rises. As long as I have your heart, I need to remember it matters not what you do with your body. If I have your love, that's all I need. I do have that, don't I?" She tries to look at Dara's eyes, to try and read something there. What is it she sees?
Essdara looks over at her, tired, scared, and hurting. She raises her hand to cover Ana's on her shoudler, giving a soft squeeze. "You always have, Ana. And you always will." She sighs, and shifts to kneeling then, and puts her arms around Anaddui. The movement is hesitant, as if she is waiting to be told not to. "I love you so much, Ana... Please never doubt that."
Anaddui leans forward to hug Essdara, putting one hand on Dara's thigh and stroking it gently. "That's all I need then." From the shore, Aurenth croons softly. "I don't doubt it, I've just been hurt so many times and I don't want to hurt anymore. I found you; and you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Besides Aurenth." Tears well in her aching eyes, but this time they're tears of joy. "I said before that I'm never too busy for you. Please remember that and come and find me no matter what time of day or night. Aurenth can...sense you in a very special way. She manipulated me into coming to see you tonight and knew where to find you." Ana leans further forward to offer Dara a kiss.
Essdara accepts the kiss, returning it tenderly for a few long moments before she replies, reaching up to stroke her cheek. "You are both, you and Aurenth, the most wonderful people in the world, Ana. And I don't want to hurt you, not now, not ever. I know I have,and I know others have. I am sorry, Ana. I will try to find you. I do, sometimes. Without much luck, clearly. But I always hope, always dream, that you will find me, and bring me home with you. Every night, every morning..."
Anaddui kisses Dara again, having missed doing that. "I wish very much that you could live with Aurenth and I. But I don't think the Weyr staff would let us. At any rate, I need to be getting back to my weyr. You're welcome to come and stay the night; I need to be up early so I can take you back in the morning. A night of snuggling, how does that sound?"
Essdara tilts her head softly. "Why wouldn't they let us? And I would like that very much, Ana, beloved." She kisses again, with more feeling and enthusiasm. "Can I say I am sorry, one last time, Ana?"
Anaddui grins and hauls herself to her feet, offering Dara a hand up. "I don't know, would they really let us live together? It's certainly something to think about. Don't say your sorry again honey, I don't need to hear it again. I know how bad you feel and I accept your apology wholeheartedly. Now, up you go. Aurenth is waiting."
Essdara accepts the hand, and the offer, moving with Ana towards the dragon. "Rysia lived with K'sar, before he..." She trails that off, and sighs. "And Tavaly is with T'zen now. But we don't need to rush, dearheart."
Anaddui winces a little at the mention of K'sar. "Then we'll try for it when we're both ready." Hauling herself up onto Aurenth, she offers Essdara a hand up.
***** They fly to Anaddui's Weyr *****
Essdara slides down, and ducks over to hugs Ana tightly. "I will be ready when you are, Ana. I love you, and that won't change." A soft kiss. "We'll see each other more?"
Anaddui slides down too, and steps into her cosy weyr. The bed is made and looking warm, so she removes her jacket and leather pants and pulls back the covers. "Come join me love? And yes, we -will- see each other more."
Essdara follows her love into the room, and into bed, for a much needed night of being held, and being kissed.