I've kinda made my decision
Sometime in the last week I decided that what I want, I really want. Therefore, I am going to begin steps to start sleeping with a certain man of interest. Seduction is overrated and it conotates a sort of short- term affair that is superfluous and callice and I therefore have no interest in a such an occasion. What I want is for this man to be in my life, to spend time with me on a personal basis, which hopefully will include us sleeping together on a regular basis but not neccessarily deeply committed to each other.
I don't want to push him into anything he doesn't want to do, to make him feel obligated to me more than he wants to be. Its so hard for me to tell, to know what he's thinking, what he wants, what I am in relation to him because there was a time a few months ago when he was quite flirty with me and I quite liked it and he even asked me up to his apartment one late night but I declined for a myriad of reasons but no more do I find myself in such a situation with him and no longer is he flirty with me. I don't blame him for this, I am so bad at flirting that I didn't really reciprocate and that must have been very discouraging.
The first step, I believe, in getting into the sack with him is letting him know that we are more than just friends, that I think of him as more than just friends. I think I'll buy him a shirt. He told me he still really likes flannel shirts, (as most manly men of my generation do), but that he just doens't have any.... So, I'll buy him one, and that should be a good hint por lo menos for him to know that I care for him.
But, how do I gently let him know that I want him without making a complete fool of myself? Like I said, I can't flirt.. I try to look nice and not sloppy girl- look but I'm just a kinda of sloppy girl and usually when I try to look nice I look out place or end up looking sloppy despite my best efforts... What I think would be the best option would be for me to give him a compliment, much like the first one he gave me that started the entire thing! He does have pretty amazingly blue eyes, but I write that on a pretty- much anonymous blog-- far different from actually telling the guy that... Basically, I have to quit keeping these things to myself. I need to tell him that I think his eyes are amazing- the bluest I've ever seen, that I like it when he doesn't gel his hair becuase then I can see the blond highlights and it looks good, etc.
Let's say he and I sleep together, then what? Then what? Hopefully he'll want more, becuase I'm pretty sure I will.