McCurdy courts CONTROVERSY with CONTROVERSIAL CONTROVERSY questionnaire
[01] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?
Kill me now.
[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?
The only thing stopping me now is that it's JUST SO HARD TO GET and SO COST PROHIBITIVE. On the other hand, I like sleep. I wish sleep were legalized.
[03] Abortion: for or against it?
Hell yeah! Abortion RULES!
[04] Do you think the world would fail with a female president?
Yes! And not a moment too soon!
[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?
Believe, as in Santa Claus? I'm pretty sure it's real.
[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
I think...I think if I keep sitting here thinking about this spiral I can visualize in my head and how it's, like, fractal and eternal and how connected I am...I think if I keep sitting still I'm going to die. I think Matthew knows I'm going to die and he's trying, in his subtle way, to tell me to call my family to tell them I'm going to die and that I love them. I don't think I should keep sitting here. But I don't think I CAN stand up. I'm never watching Planet of the Apes again.
[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?
MORE PLEASE.
[08] Do you believe in God?
I think he can do WHATEVER HE SETS HIS MIND TO. I give him my full support, a gold star and his first choice at snack time.
[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
ONLY if Richard Curtis makes a movie about a gay wedding planner who only plans gay weddings, and so there is this one circle of friends who are all getting married and they come to the weddings and they make snarky comments about how tacky the tuxedos are and oh my God, those CAKE toppers, but then act really reverent and amazed at how good their bulldyke friends look in their gowns. But at the end of the day, deep inside, the wedding planner is real lonely.
[10] Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?
Um, have you noticed that Mexican food tastes awesome? And that it's made by Mexicans, who are also pretty awesome? I am just saying.
[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?
Only if she carries it AND a flour sack and a VERY EXPENSIVE INFANT SIMULATOR DOLL and a litter of barking puppies to school every day, to LEARN RESPONSIBILITIES.
[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?
If it's not worth regretting, it's not worth doing. The sooner the young people figure this out, the better.
[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?
I think sobriety should be called off.
[14] Do you believe assisted suicide should be legal?
MORE PLEASE.
[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?
I don't have children, but I thump my cat on the nose when he is too mean to my other cat. Children are usually smarter than cats, but mine probably won't be.
[16] Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
I burned one this morning while I was doing my hair. Polyester flag in hair + hot curls = OH YES I WENT THERE. So, it was an accident, but I think I'd do it again for free if I didn't have to get a hair cut.
[17] Who do you think would make a better president? McCain or Obama?
I think Schuster, my red tabby, would make a good president because world leaders seem to really like him and think he's doing really good work. But he told me he wants to focus on building a stronger community with the cats in our neighborhood this year and asked me to please not to vote for him as a write-in. He also told me that if I vote for John McCain he will claw my eyes out and eat them.
[18] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
I'm afraid I'm going to punch you in the junk.