Fic Post
If I have been remiss with LJ in general this year I have been positively woeful when it's come to writing fic. Anyways let us end the year with a visit to the Bartyverse.
Ernest has to give Cuthbert’s invitation to join a Kennedy outing serious consideration. As fond as he is of Cuthbert himself; Cuthbert’s extended family are nothing but a hub of absolute chaos.
Still Cuthbert’s offer is a tempting one. Shakespeare in the park, a splendid picnic prepared by Mrs. Abercrombie and of course the presence of Miss Lucy. How could one, spoiled, spaniel ruin that?
Ernest presents himself promptly at Cuthbert’s front door at the requested rendezvous time where he is joined by Cuthbert himself and his younger sister Allegra for the short distance to Lord Hornblower and Mr. Kennedy’s residence. That feat they at least manage without an incident more serious than some light bickering between Cuthbert and Allegra. On arrival they ring the door bell.
The door is thrown open by Mr. Kennedy. Who is wearing only his long johns and shirt. Ernest turns away abashed and really feels Cuthbert should at least cover Allegra’s eyes. Neither Cuthbert or Allegra bat an eyelid though, all Cuthbert can cheerily say is. “Not ready yet, Uncle Archie? Are we early?”
Mr. Kennedy ushers them in, “Not at all! I am running a tad late, I can’t seem to find any trousers that quite fit, I have asked Mrs. A if she’s sure she’s not shrinking them in the laundry but she’s given me short thrift with that line of enquiry…” Ernest is keenly looking up the stairs to avoid looking at Mr. Kennedy in his undergarments and nods at Lord Hornblower as he regally descends, impeccably dressed, Ernest is pleased to see.
Ernest’s attention is immediately grabbed by Lucy’s entrance in the hall and that fact she is carrying Bartholomew only dampens his pleasure at the sight of her slightly. Allegra rushes over to join them with a cry of “Hello, Barty!” The beast condescends to lick her hand in greeting before he is deposited on the ground. Ernest, noticing that Cuthbert is still being distracted by his uncle’s wardrobe woes takes the opportunity to follow Lucy back into the kitchen to ask if he can offer any assistance. He is rewarded with a beaming smile and a picnic basket to carry for his efforts.
~
Eventually they are ready to leave the house and meander at a leisurely pace towards the park. Ernest finds he would be making steadier progress if Bartholomew was not darting about his feet in a salivating frenzy from the smells that are escaping from the picnic basket. Frankly Cuthbert is not behaving much better and Ernest has had to bat his hand away more than once.
Once in the park Ernest and Cuthbert set up two deck chairs for Mr. Kennedy and Lord Hornblower while Mr. Kennedy directs the laying out of the picnic while Allegra holds on to a whining Bartholomew, Mr. Kennedy has a rare moment of dispensing discipline when he says in a firm voice, “Now, my treasure, it is not all for you, you must learn to share!”
The assembled spread is a sight to behold and several envious glances are thrown their way from fellow picnickers. The absolute highlight, all are agreed, is the deep fried asparagus that Lord Hornblower informs them is a recipe given to Mrs. Abercrombie on a visit to Lord Hornblower’s favourite restaurant, an establishment run by his friend Mr. Sikdar. Ernest has no idea who first had the idea to deep fry anything but he can only commend them on an excellent thought. Ernest enjoys his asparagus so much he decides to keep his second share of the dish for later and finishes it just in time for the show to commence. He is not familiar with Titus Andronicus but he had been puzzled by the almost ghoulish glee Allegra had taken as she discussed it with her uncle as they walked behind Ernest on the way to the park.
Ernest sits entranced and like most of the audience holds his breath during the forest confrontation between Lavina, Demetrius and Chiron, even Allegra is still and quiet. It is a relief when they exit.
Then Lavina reenters the scene to gasps of horror from the audience, her hands are missing with only bloodied stumps remaining and when she goes to speak blood spurts out of her mouth. It is all quite convincing and alarming. That is the last thing Ernest remembers before the wave of nausea that hits him pulls him down into darkness….
~
Ernest awakens to a soft, warm, tongue at the side of his mouth and yelps at the sight of a hairy muzzle and impish eyes nose to nose with him. Bartholomew is unceremoniously pulled off him by Cuthbert with the statement, “That is quite enough, Barty, no one is fooled you know, we know you’re looking for asparagus crumbs and not trying to revive Ernie at all!” Bartholomew at least has the grace to look slightly contrite, now that he’s mopped up the crumbs.
Ernest groans as he takes in the scene, Lord Hornblower seems to have taken charge of the scene and is calmly stating while towering over Ernest, and a kneeling Cuthbert and Bartholomew, “He just needs some air and some room, Bartholomew stop that!” Mr. Kennedy for his part has remained seated, “Oh for Heaven’s sake, about half a dozen others passed out at the sight of her too, leave the boy alone all of you, you’re embarrassing him.”
Allegra just scoffs at him from her perch beside her uncle, “It’s not real you know, Uncle Archie and I came last week and we spoke to Lavina afterwards, she has her hands and tongue and everything! Her name isn’t even Lavina it’s really Sarah!”
Ernest does feel rather foolish now, he can’t even blame being light heated due to lack of food after all. He realises simultaneously that Lucy is not in his field of vision and his head is resting on a lap. With trepidation he tilts his head and confirms that the lap his head is in is Lucy’s with an internal wince, what an idiot she must think he is…
Lucy only smiles kindly at him, brushes his hair back from his forehead and leans down to whisper, “I thought I was going to be sick when she came on, I’m glad you gave me something else to think about.”
Ernest fumbles for a reply but finds all he can do is beam foolishly back at her.
Ernest has to give Cuthbert’s invitation to join a Kennedy outing serious consideration. As fond as he is of Cuthbert himself; Cuthbert’s extended family are nothing but a hub of absolute chaos.
Still Cuthbert’s offer is a tempting one. Shakespeare in the park, a splendid picnic prepared by Mrs. Abercrombie and of course the presence of Miss Lucy. How could one, spoiled, spaniel ruin that?
Ernest presents himself promptly at Cuthbert’s front door at the requested rendezvous time where he is joined by Cuthbert himself and his younger sister Allegra for the short distance to Lord Hornblower and Mr. Kennedy’s residence. That feat they at least manage without an incident more serious than some light bickering between Cuthbert and Allegra. On arrival they ring the door bell.
The door is thrown open by Mr. Kennedy. Who is wearing only his long johns and shirt. Ernest turns away abashed and really feels Cuthbert should at least cover Allegra’s eyes. Neither Cuthbert or Allegra bat an eyelid though, all Cuthbert can cheerily say is. “Not ready yet, Uncle Archie? Are we early?”
Mr. Kennedy ushers them in, “Not at all! I am running a tad late, I can’t seem to find any trousers that quite fit, I have asked Mrs. A if she’s sure she’s not shrinking them in the laundry but she’s given me short thrift with that line of enquiry…” Ernest is keenly looking up the stairs to avoid looking at Mr. Kennedy in his undergarments and nods at Lord Hornblower as he regally descends, impeccably dressed, Ernest is pleased to see.
Ernest’s attention is immediately grabbed by Lucy’s entrance in the hall and that fact she is carrying Bartholomew only dampens his pleasure at the sight of her slightly. Allegra rushes over to join them with a cry of “Hello, Barty!” The beast condescends to lick her hand in greeting before he is deposited on the ground. Ernest, noticing that Cuthbert is still being distracted by his uncle’s wardrobe woes takes the opportunity to follow Lucy back into the kitchen to ask if he can offer any assistance. He is rewarded with a beaming smile and a picnic basket to carry for his efforts.
~
Eventually they are ready to leave the house and meander at a leisurely pace towards the park. Ernest finds he would be making steadier progress if Bartholomew was not darting about his feet in a salivating frenzy from the smells that are escaping from the picnic basket. Frankly Cuthbert is not behaving much better and Ernest has had to bat his hand away more than once.
Once in the park Ernest and Cuthbert set up two deck chairs for Mr. Kennedy and Lord Hornblower while Mr. Kennedy directs the laying out of the picnic while Allegra holds on to a whining Bartholomew, Mr. Kennedy has a rare moment of dispensing discipline when he says in a firm voice, “Now, my treasure, it is not all for you, you must learn to share!”
The assembled spread is a sight to behold and several envious glances are thrown their way from fellow picnickers. The absolute highlight, all are agreed, is the deep fried asparagus that Lord Hornblower informs them is a recipe given to Mrs. Abercrombie on a visit to Lord Hornblower’s favourite restaurant, an establishment run by his friend Mr. Sikdar. Ernest has no idea who first had the idea to deep fry anything but he can only commend them on an excellent thought. Ernest enjoys his asparagus so much he decides to keep his second share of the dish for later and finishes it just in time for the show to commence. He is not familiar with Titus Andronicus but he had been puzzled by the almost ghoulish glee Allegra had taken as she discussed it with her uncle as they walked behind Ernest on the way to the park.
Ernest sits entranced and like most of the audience holds his breath during the forest confrontation between Lavina, Demetrius and Chiron, even Allegra is still and quiet. It is a relief when they exit.
Then Lavina reenters the scene to gasps of horror from the audience, her hands are missing with only bloodied stumps remaining and when she goes to speak blood spurts out of her mouth. It is all quite convincing and alarming. That is the last thing Ernest remembers before the wave of nausea that hits him pulls him down into darkness….
~
Ernest awakens to a soft, warm, tongue at the side of his mouth and yelps at the sight of a hairy muzzle and impish eyes nose to nose with him. Bartholomew is unceremoniously pulled off him by Cuthbert with the statement, “That is quite enough, Barty, no one is fooled you know, we know you’re looking for asparagus crumbs and not trying to revive Ernie at all!” Bartholomew at least has the grace to look slightly contrite, now that he’s mopped up the crumbs.
Ernest groans as he takes in the scene, Lord Hornblower seems to have taken charge of the scene and is calmly stating while towering over Ernest, and a kneeling Cuthbert and Bartholomew, “He just needs some air and some room, Bartholomew stop that!” Mr. Kennedy for his part has remained seated, “Oh for Heaven’s sake, about half a dozen others passed out at the sight of her too, leave the boy alone all of you, you’re embarrassing him.”
Allegra just scoffs at him from her perch beside her uncle, “It’s not real you know, Uncle Archie and I came last week and we spoke to Lavina afterwards, she has her hands and tongue and everything! Her name isn’t even Lavina it’s really Sarah!”
Ernest does feel rather foolish now, he can’t even blame being light heated due to lack of food after all. He realises simultaneously that Lucy is not in his field of vision and his head is resting on a lap. With trepidation he tilts his head and confirms that the lap his head is in is Lucy’s with an internal wince, what an idiot she must think he is…
Lucy only smiles kindly at him, brushes his hair back from his forehead and leans down to whisper, “I thought I was going to be sick when she came on, I’m glad you gave me something else to think about.”
Ernest fumbles for a reply but finds all he can do is beam foolishly back at her.