Fic Post
Hornblower, rated G, crack.
Adele was somewhat taken aback to open the bathroom door to find a small, portly, spaniel looking up at her. She’d only been in her sisters new house for fifteen minutes but “We bought a dog” is the sort of thing Bridget would usually enthusiastically mention.
Adele bent down to introduce herself to the dog anyway, “Hello! Who are you then?” The dog promptly rested his front paws on her knee and sniffed at her in reply before seemingly loosing interest and waddling down the hall. She expected to be covered in fur when she stood up but was pleasantly surprised to find she wasn’t after a quick glance down.
Bridget was putting the sandwiches for lunch out when Adele pushed open the kitchen door and asked, “Why didn’t you say you’d got a dog? Funny little thing isn’t it?”
Bridget stopped what she was doing at that remark and surprised Adele with the enthusiasm of her reply, “Did you see him? Bartholomew? Was Mr. Kennedy with him?”
Adele took a seat before answering, “Do you have two of them then?” Although Adele thought Mr. Kennedy was a stupid name to call a dog, maybe it was a Pekinese and warranted such a name.
Bridget shook her head and crossed back to the kettle to pour out the tea, “I don’t have a dog at all; they’re ghosts.”
Adele was very glad she’d sat down. “Have you been hitting the sauce lately?”
Bridget put the cups of tea out on the table and sat herself before answering, “Oh I haven’t seen them. I think I’ve heard Bartholomew though, skittering about. Tom’s Mum came down a couple of months ago and got up during the night. She said in the morning she’d had a lovely chat with a young man named Archie who had his pet spaniel with him. She thought he was a bit lonely as his friend Horatio had gone to Portsmouth in order to come back and complain it was now a disgrace, according to Archie. Archie and Bartholomew couldn’t go as going beyond the house exhausts Bartholomew too much so they take it in turns to stay with him.”
Adele was far from convinced, maybe the neighbours had a pet and it had come in the back door when they were getting the shopping out the car, “Okay, has Tom’s Mum seen a doctor lately?”
Bridget was unfazed though, “We thought that too, that she was going loopy, but she’s perfectly lucid otherwise. She was very insistent and he’d told her quite a bit apparently.” Bridget got back up from the table, left the room and came back a few moments later with a folder. She then opened it and handed Adele a photo of a portrait of a good looking bloke in BBC period drama clothing.
Bridget nodded to it before continuing, “Tom and I think that’s him, Archie Kennedy. The original portrait is at Culzean Castle in Scotland, he was the youngest son of Lord Alistair Kennedy who was a younger son of one of the Earls of Cassiles.”
Adele asked it despite herself, “How did he end up down here then? Shouldn’t he be haunting the family castle?”
“It wasn’t unusual for the aristocracy to live in London, or spend a lot of time here anyway. He lived in this house with Lord Hornblower.”
Adele’s head was beginning to pound slightly and she was sure there was a draft in the room now, “Lord Hornblower?”
Bridget looked extremely annoyed that Adele didn’t immediately know what she was talking about, “Admiral Lord Horatio Hornblower. He was a big Naval hero in the early 19th century, surely you’ve heard of him?”
Adele shook her head and Bridget sighed in exasperation. “Well, he was. Kennedy was in the Navy too but he was discharged just before the Treaty of Amiens. He made a fortune in the scrap trade though and he bought this house. Most serious Naval and 19th century historians accept today that Hornblower was homosexual and Kennedy was undoubtedly his lover. It’s very sweet actually. They were more discreet when they were young, but they were a right pair of characters in their old age apparently. They were always about town with their little dog and various friends and Kennedy relations. They died within a few months of each other, Kennedy in February 1860 and Hornblower in the June. I can lend you a couple of books about them if you like.”
Adele’s felt too nauseous at this point to say anything but Bridget didn’t seem to need input. “Tom’s Mum’s not the first person to have seen them of course. In fact, Bartholomew was seen before they even died, it’s recorded in the diaries of the Earl of Edrington. He jotted down he’d been to see Hornblower and Kennedy and feared they were both going dotty as they were very morose about the fact their dog had died but Edrington claimed he could see the dog at Kennedy’s feet as plain as the nose on Hornblower’s face.”
Bridget blithely continued while Adele turned an interesting mix of white and green. “We went to see the lady who sold us the house the other week, she said she’d only seen them occasionally, and never talked to them, but her husband had once had a very interesting conversation at 3am one night he had indigestion about how television works with Lord Hornblower. I was a bit scared at first, at the thought the house was haunted but she said not to be. They mostly kept to themselves and never did anyone any harm. We’ve found that to be true, except with the telly. They muck about with that quite a bit, they even record things, I’ve got a whole series of My Family on the Sky Plus.”
The sudden ring of the phone caused Adele to yelp and Bridget to smile, “I better get that, it might be Tom.”
In Bridget’s absence Adele got up to fetch herself a much needed glass of water. She found herself looking out the window above the sink, the bright sunshine from outside being something on an antidote. She jumped back though at the sight of a tall, dark haired man in a frock coat walking arm in arm with a smaller, light haired man through the garden while the spaniel she saw earlier trotted in front of them.
Adele was somewhat taken aback to open the bathroom door to find a small, portly, spaniel looking up at her. She’d only been in her sisters new house for fifteen minutes but “We bought a dog” is the sort of thing Bridget would usually enthusiastically mention.
Adele bent down to introduce herself to the dog anyway, “Hello! Who are you then?” The dog promptly rested his front paws on her knee and sniffed at her in reply before seemingly loosing interest and waddling down the hall. She expected to be covered in fur when she stood up but was pleasantly surprised to find she wasn’t after a quick glance down.
Bridget was putting the sandwiches for lunch out when Adele pushed open the kitchen door and asked, “Why didn’t you say you’d got a dog? Funny little thing isn’t it?”
Bridget stopped what she was doing at that remark and surprised Adele with the enthusiasm of her reply, “Did you see him? Bartholomew? Was Mr. Kennedy with him?”
Adele took a seat before answering, “Do you have two of them then?” Although Adele thought Mr. Kennedy was a stupid name to call a dog, maybe it was a Pekinese and warranted such a name.
Bridget shook her head and crossed back to the kettle to pour out the tea, “I don’t have a dog at all; they’re ghosts.”
Adele was very glad she’d sat down. “Have you been hitting the sauce lately?”
Bridget put the cups of tea out on the table and sat herself before answering, “Oh I haven’t seen them. I think I’ve heard Bartholomew though, skittering about. Tom’s Mum came down a couple of months ago and got up during the night. She said in the morning she’d had a lovely chat with a young man named Archie who had his pet spaniel with him. She thought he was a bit lonely as his friend Horatio had gone to Portsmouth in order to come back and complain it was now a disgrace, according to Archie. Archie and Bartholomew couldn’t go as going beyond the house exhausts Bartholomew too much so they take it in turns to stay with him.”
Adele was far from convinced, maybe the neighbours had a pet and it had come in the back door when they were getting the shopping out the car, “Okay, has Tom’s Mum seen a doctor lately?”
Bridget was unfazed though, “We thought that too, that she was going loopy, but she’s perfectly lucid otherwise. She was very insistent and he’d told her quite a bit apparently.” Bridget got back up from the table, left the room and came back a few moments later with a folder. She then opened it and handed Adele a photo of a portrait of a good looking bloke in BBC period drama clothing.
Bridget nodded to it before continuing, “Tom and I think that’s him, Archie Kennedy. The original portrait is at Culzean Castle in Scotland, he was the youngest son of Lord Alistair Kennedy who was a younger son of one of the Earls of Cassiles.”
Adele asked it despite herself, “How did he end up down here then? Shouldn’t he be haunting the family castle?”
“It wasn’t unusual for the aristocracy to live in London, or spend a lot of time here anyway. He lived in this house with Lord Hornblower.”
Adele’s head was beginning to pound slightly and she was sure there was a draft in the room now, “Lord Hornblower?”
Bridget looked extremely annoyed that Adele didn’t immediately know what she was talking about, “Admiral Lord Horatio Hornblower. He was a big Naval hero in the early 19th century, surely you’ve heard of him?”
Adele shook her head and Bridget sighed in exasperation. “Well, he was. Kennedy was in the Navy too but he was discharged just before the Treaty of Amiens. He made a fortune in the scrap trade though and he bought this house. Most serious Naval and 19th century historians accept today that Hornblower was homosexual and Kennedy was undoubtedly his lover. It’s very sweet actually. They were more discreet when they were young, but they were a right pair of characters in their old age apparently. They were always about town with their little dog and various friends and Kennedy relations. They died within a few months of each other, Kennedy in February 1860 and Hornblower in the June. I can lend you a couple of books about them if you like.”
Adele’s felt too nauseous at this point to say anything but Bridget didn’t seem to need input. “Tom’s Mum’s not the first person to have seen them of course. In fact, Bartholomew was seen before they even died, it’s recorded in the diaries of the Earl of Edrington. He jotted down he’d been to see Hornblower and Kennedy and feared they were both going dotty as they were very morose about the fact their dog had died but Edrington claimed he could see the dog at Kennedy’s feet as plain as the nose on Hornblower’s face.”
Bridget blithely continued while Adele turned an interesting mix of white and green. “We went to see the lady who sold us the house the other week, she said she’d only seen them occasionally, and never talked to them, but her husband had once had a very interesting conversation at 3am one night he had indigestion about how television works with Lord Hornblower. I was a bit scared at first, at the thought the house was haunted but she said not to be. They mostly kept to themselves and never did anyone any harm. We’ve found that to be true, except with the telly. They muck about with that quite a bit, they even record things, I’ve got a whole series of My Family on the Sky Plus.”
The sudden ring of the phone caused Adele to yelp and Bridget to smile, “I better get that, it might be Tom.”
In Bridget’s absence Adele got up to fetch herself a much needed glass of water. She found herself looking out the window above the sink, the bright sunshine from outside being something on an antidote. She jumped back though at the sight of a tall, dark haired man in a frock coat walking arm in arm with a smaller, light haired man through the garden while the spaniel she saw earlier trotted in front of them.