Let it lie...
There are certain people you just keep coming back to,
She is right in front of you.
You begin to wonder could you find a better one,
Compared to her, now she's in question.
And all at once, the crowd begins to sing;
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there...
Looking for the right one, you line up the world to find,
Where no questions cross your mind.
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt,
Much longer for you to sort it out.
And all at once, the crowd begins to sing;
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there.
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from.
Perfection will not come...
And all at once, the crowd begins to sing.
Sometimes,
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there.
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from.
Perfection will not come...
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another,
To another...
-----
Every day, I ask myself why do I bother,
Why do I bother?
Why do I bother...
And every day the answer to that seems to have drifted farther away.
I know how I feel. I fucked up, you could say tripped up. That door to emotional connection and free expression was closed up for so long, I found trouble in forcing it open again.
Like I lost my faith.
But I know how I feel. Second chances, third chances, a hundred million and one just slip away, in such casual fashion.
He was almost effortless in turning away. Exactly as he was the last time. I had to give up the fight so much quicker, because now I know it was always useless.
And all at once, that crushing aloneness settled in, immediately clouding what weeks of affection and careful adoration had sought to polish.
I love him. With all my heart. Yet, deep down, I know this is it. I likely won't hear from him again in this lifetime. And the tragedy is, I found I had been waiting for this scenario, no matter how he tried to dissuade me (and he was always such a good liar...)
And honestly, what can I do but catch the pain, the fear, the anger, the jealousy, the pride, the sadness, the hopelessness ...and just let it go with the wind.
And so I run. I do a lot of that these days. Sometimes without stopping, sometimes so hard I end up making myself sick and puking, hard enough that my knee is having trouble healing. And it feels good. It feels euphoric. But every day, every hour, with every plan I make and with every goal I set, the deepest part of me asks;
Am I doing this to force myself to become better than he is?
Or am I doing this to bring myself to a level that he could finally approve of...
...just a whole lotta silence on that one.
If you spend all your heart on something that has died,
You are not alive,
And that can't be a life.
Love what you can,
Love what you can 'til it dies.
Then let it lie.
Let it fly away...
She is right in front of you.
You begin to wonder could you find a better one,
Compared to her, now she's in question.
And all at once, the crowd begins to sing;
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there...
Looking for the right one, you line up the world to find,
Where no questions cross your mind.
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt,
Much longer for you to sort it out.
And all at once, the crowd begins to sing;
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there.
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from.
Perfection will not come...
And all at once, the crowd begins to sing.
Sometimes,
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there.
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from.
Perfection will not come...
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another,
To another...
-----
Every day, I ask myself why do I bother,
Why do I bother?
Why do I bother...
And every day the answer to that seems to have drifted farther away.
I know how I feel. I fucked up, you could say tripped up. That door to emotional connection and free expression was closed up for so long, I found trouble in forcing it open again.
Like I lost my faith.
But I know how I feel. Second chances, third chances, a hundred million and one just slip away, in such casual fashion.
He was almost effortless in turning away. Exactly as he was the last time. I had to give up the fight so much quicker, because now I know it was always useless.
And all at once, that crushing aloneness settled in, immediately clouding what weeks of affection and careful adoration had sought to polish.
I love him. With all my heart. Yet, deep down, I know this is it. I likely won't hear from him again in this lifetime. And the tragedy is, I found I had been waiting for this scenario, no matter how he tried to dissuade me (and he was always such a good liar...)
And honestly, what can I do but catch the pain, the fear, the anger, the jealousy, the pride, the sadness, the hopelessness ...and just let it go with the wind.
And so I run. I do a lot of that these days. Sometimes without stopping, sometimes so hard I end up making myself sick and puking, hard enough that my knee is having trouble healing. And it feels good. It feels euphoric. But every day, every hour, with every plan I make and with every goal I set, the deepest part of me asks;
Am I doing this to force myself to become better than he is?
Or am I doing this to bring myself to a level that he could finally approve of...
...just a whole lotta silence on that one.
If you spend all your heart on something that has died,
You are not alive,
And that can't be a life.
Love what you can,
Love what you can 'til it dies.
Then let it lie.
Let it fly away...