On the verge...
I wonder if certain events have caused a true reason for being depressed or if has sent me into depression episode. Or if my depression has caused me to view things more than what they really are to cause myself feelings of worthlessness and being unwanted by certain people. Though does it really matter the cause when I'm in the middle of this overwhelming gloom surrounding me seeming to grow ever stronger and not knowing any real way to deal with it except to wright, but I still feel empty. At least I'm not waiting or wanting to die yet but I wonder how long before I become really self-destructive and self-hating. No amount of self analyzing has really ever helped very few things do seem to help. How long and how many times must I go though this? How long and how many times can I resist the darkness that beats between my breasts?