You arent that special.

Aug 25, 2005 01:00

Dear live journal. You are not that special. Sure, the people that write in it are very important to me, but by being in their lives, as well as the lives of many others, you afford a few things to happen: First, by simply existing, you create a space for people to carry out senseless infighting. (insert damaging referent here to perpetuate scandal) Do you know how many half assed writers are out there who believe so heartily in their abilities to turn a phrase, that they actually believe they are indulging in a sort of crafty humiliation? Why? Because they simply feel its okay to publish undeveloped knee-jerk thoughts online, sealing them in time, for the world of the nosy (lame idiots) to consume, interpret, and through misinterpretation, puree the namesake of the decent. This is unacceptable.

Second, "Live Journal" you provide a platform for the conceited, bland, and horribly vain to go on believing the illusion that someone is out there reading them, hanging on every word that they write as if it were the last morsel on earth, and without their words the reader simply would not have any way to relate with people or feel normal. Why? Because people like to worship other people, and in turn want to feel what it is like on the other side, well... in some cases... ahem, most cases, the actual outside... of their house. Sure, you could say that as one writes in their "journal" that they are keeping others posted about the details in their life. Bringing me to my point: Who the fuck cares? I have enough stupid minutia in my own life, should I be proud that you went to the gyno, or that your stupid boyfriend decided to go ahead and cut his penis on purpose just to get you out of the house? C'mon, where is the real action with strippers, whores, vaudeville fantasies, and murder? Oh yea, we dont write about our fantasies here, We do not see any self admitted crack whores, (insert name of some female you barely know to evoke witty rapport with the audience) moreover any samaritains (use a clever literary device here to show that you are nothing like the crack whore and establish superiority by illustrating your abundant knowledge of puritanical principles damning the abovementioned crack-whore even further. This drives a chasm of distinction so deep between the CW and yourself that you appear god-like.) sympathizing with them in Wolf Blitzer's situation room may happen on the blogosphere if you are lucky, and if you are a real geek, you know whats up with the situation room. (monday through friday 3pm to 6pm eastern on CNN).

You know what LIvE journal? Thank you and fuck you all at the same time. Who knows? People could actually become literate because of you. but not socially. Social consciousness cannot be attained through your service.

Consider the following enlightening passage:

"Dear live journal, today I kept peeing in my pants after I placed my penis back into my boxers after I thought I was done peeing, but I still had a trickle left in me. It dribbled down my leg. This happened four times over the course of today. Dont worry though, its only between you and me. (and the rest of the fucking live journal world.. do not write about that shit) Not only did I keep peeing myself, I picked my nose incessantly in traffic, and ate it, the humidity makes my mucous congeal faster. I think some soccer mom saw me do it, but I strongly believe that I snuck it by her. Now of course my girlfriend doesnt know about my little habit, because I leave her house early every night to carry out the impulse to pick my scabs and eat boogers in a sort of fleshy saltine/briny slime cocktail. I also have not trimmed my toenails for.. .well fuck, I dont trim them, I just pick at them, and then I chew on them too. I love the taste of my own feet. Yogurt is also good. Fruit at the bottom, I like that... all over my chest and ass in a kiddie pool as I begin to masturbate to pictures of meg white from the white stripes."

Thats narcissism. When you really love yourself so much you can talk about meg white.

"oh, I also snore loudly, and am pretty sure it comforts my girlfriend. I dont really know though. I am always asleep."

"Its gunna be great, I shall call myself...Faux Faux Three Thousand, can we write a screenplay?"

I love all of you, I love myself even more..

Dont welcome me back. (you now have to do it to spite me... face it, you are obligted, to pretend to be my friend, just so I read your shit in return) Better not make me mad... Or I may not read your journals... That would be.... Well pretty much the way it has been all summer. Hope to see any of you soon-er. But later will do.
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