(no subject)
[..I've had many friendships many relationships all different than the one that came before but all with the same after effect, me letting go. I guess after awhile people get old to me and i lose interest and walk away, oblivious to how it makes those around me feel. However, im the kind of person who acts on instict and intuition, i act with my head instead of my heart. I guess you could even go as far as to say, i rarely let me heart get involved. But with all of that aside, the rest of this entry is dedicated to someone and they'll know who they are as soon as they read it.
I just want you to know at times i get so frustrated with you that i lose my train of thought and all the patience i have inside of me. While you think im being mean for hanging the phone up its probably the best thing i could do, i dont want to say something i'll regret and not be able to take back later when ive had time to think about it. You have me completely flored by the fact that you can't see whats really going on here. You're in a relationship which is not healthy for you, and you've completely handed her your controller and begged her to press your buttons. How dare you say that im wrong. Ive grown up around this shit my entire life, and its like i've told you a million times before. You may not see it now, tomorrow, a week from now or even a year from now but when you finally let yourself get away and out of the relationship you're in, you'll be able to see, what i've seen all along. You'll be kicking yourself in the ass for not listening to me because by the time you're eyes are no longer amused by the likes of her, it may just be too late. I once told you that i can stand idley by mumbling under my breath that if it'd have been me, i wouldve never put you through the things i see you being put through now, but it doesn't change the fact that you are obviously with her because you want to be, because you've managed to convince yourself you're happy. But tell me this, does someone who is so completely happy threaten to kill themselves just to get away from someone? Sometime you might think about asking her something. if she saw you were being pulled to two different sides, her on the opposing side, would she continue to fight for you or back off? I can honestly say i'd back off. If it was between saving you from being stretched beyond your limits or my jealous outrage to have you basically branded with my name in your ass. I'd choose to save you. Chances are, she'd pull until there was nothing left. She's selfish as shit for what she's doing. Calling you a bitch when shit doesn't go her way, crying, begging, and threatening suicide until you promise to come back to her. Perhaps for what would probably be the first time in her life, she needs to consider other people's feelings beyond her own. This is where i end this, because i do you respect your feelings and i know when enough is enough, but i also respect myself enough to make sure what i needed to say has been said. The ball is in your court. don't let her play the role of the overprotective parent and push you so hard until you lose sight of whats really important. doing what you love. and love what you're doing..]
I just want you to know at times i get so frustrated with you that i lose my train of thought and all the patience i have inside of me. While you think im being mean for hanging the phone up its probably the best thing i could do, i dont want to say something i'll regret and not be able to take back later when ive had time to think about it. You have me completely flored by the fact that you can't see whats really going on here. You're in a relationship which is not healthy for you, and you've completely handed her your controller and begged her to press your buttons. How dare you say that im wrong. Ive grown up around this shit my entire life, and its like i've told you a million times before. You may not see it now, tomorrow, a week from now or even a year from now but when you finally let yourself get away and out of the relationship you're in, you'll be able to see, what i've seen all along. You'll be kicking yourself in the ass for not listening to me because by the time you're eyes are no longer amused by the likes of her, it may just be too late. I once told you that i can stand idley by mumbling under my breath that if it'd have been me, i wouldve never put you through the things i see you being put through now, but it doesn't change the fact that you are obviously with her because you want to be, because you've managed to convince yourself you're happy. But tell me this, does someone who is so completely happy threaten to kill themselves just to get away from someone? Sometime you might think about asking her something. if she saw you were being pulled to two different sides, her on the opposing side, would she continue to fight for you or back off? I can honestly say i'd back off. If it was between saving you from being stretched beyond your limits or my jealous outrage to have you basically branded with my name in your ass. I'd choose to save you. Chances are, she'd pull until there was nothing left. She's selfish as shit for what she's doing. Calling you a bitch when shit doesn't go her way, crying, begging, and threatening suicide until you promise to come back to her. Perhaps for what would probably be the first time in her life, she needs to consider other people's feelings beyond her own. This is where i end this, because i do you respect your feelings and i know when enough is enough, but i also respect myself enough to make sure what i needed to say has been said. The ball is in your court. don't let her play the role of the overprotective parent and push you so hard until you lose sight of whats really important. doing what you love. and love what you're doing..]