let me repeat this part of the show for those just tuning in
In July, 2001, I said: "I'm utterly frustrated by the lack of openness and honesty in day to day human relations. Even the people you're supposed to be close to, the ones you think you could say anything and everything to, we never do. Because we're always worried somewhere down inside that we'll hurt them, or we'll say something that will make them think less of us. FUCK THAT NOISE. I'm through with it. I am nearly certain I'm going to say something here... that will seriously piss some people off. So if I gave you the address for this because I know you, please remember that I'm a very difficult person to embarrass and so neither are you sacred in this "place"... I simply will no longer tolerate the bullshit that is currently considered human interaction. Maybe you guys will even find it useful to have a place to go and find out how I really feel about things when I just can't or won't speak it aloud for whatever reason... I will not censor myself, especially not here, for ANYONE's sake... Everybody's pissed at me for something or another that I've written in here. Okay, kids. So, you're pissed. I can dig it. I'm sure there's even a perfectly valid reason for it (tho it'd be nice if you'd clue me on that). But, catch this: FUCK YOU. Fuck each and every last one of you for even having the balls to be angry at me. I don't suppose it has occurred to any of you that you ought to feel fucking honored that you were even given the goddamn address for this thing, maybe feel fucking special that I invited you into my sacred space since I did NOT HAVE to do that. I thought all of you knew me pretty well, and therefore would understand my position on truth and honesty, and therefore might be able to appreciate the idea that I *was* willing to share everything about myself with you here. The sheer fact that you know this exists means I care for you, and ISN'T THAT FUCKING ENOUGH FOR ANYONE ANYMORE? Nevermind that you're finding out things you didn't want to know... would you rather just steep in your ignorance, like all the other assholes who aren't worth giving a damn about? I mean, really... because of this insufferable urge ingrained deep in me to not hurt people if I can at all help it mixed with my near total inability to properly express myself, it's just never going to be pretty. So fuck it. If you've already got the address, and you don't like what you read, THEN STOP READING IT. Hey, there's a thought."
On December 1st, 2001, I said: "I must, here in the beginning, summarily state that while I may acknowledge any hurt feelings as valid, I will NOT apologize for anything I say here and I most certainly WILL NOT censor myself for the sake of said feelings. This is mine, it's for me and not for anyone else, it's the one place where I can say whatever I truly mean about anything and anyone, and fuck the repercussions 'cause there shouldn't be any. If I have to communicate as a 3 year old in order to get my point across, I will: MINE! NOT YOURS! And you have no right to bitch about any of it, because it is MY JOURNAL, you grok me?"
Obviously, my position on the sanctity of my journal has not changed over the course of a decade, so it's probably pretty safe to assume it's not going to change any time soon. I'm relatively fluid overall, and generally speaking more willing than pretty much anyone I've ever known to admit that my view on any given thing in the universe is probably wrong, and therefore I am equally willing to entertain alternate viewpoints and adjust my own accordingly. HOWEVER. You need to understand and accept that this place, my journal, has been for the entirety of that decade the one and only place in all my meatworld exsistence that I can go to be who I truly am and say anything I may need to say. I do not care how much I love you, I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. If you think I'm fucked up, try wrapping your head around how fucking dysfunctional I would be if I'd spent that decade without anywhere safe to ever really be openly me.
Let's throw a different spin on things for a second, shall we? "Disappointment is a byproduct of expectations, not of results. By expecting someone to be more than what you know they are, you are unfairly setting them up to let you down." I have, both with the previous posts linked to here, and with this very post itself, made it excruciatingly clear what you can and cannot expect from me in my journal. If you continue to have some kind of problem with anything I say here, it is just that: YOUR PROBLEM. I will enact the 3 chances policy that I apply to every person I have ever known in my entire life who gives me unnecessary shit: because, whomever you are or whomever you are to me, you are not a special and unique snowflake. Your first chance was getting invited to view my journal at all. If you bring your bullshit problem to me here, you have used up your second chance: I will immediately shut you down (read: screen any comments you've posted and freeze any threads you've begun) AND I will not be including you in my viewings of my f-list for at least a month so that I do not get exposed to you continuing to rant in your own journal. I'm not asking. I. DO NOT. CARE. You're entitled to your opinions, but I no more have to read them than you have to read any of my drivel. Choose wisely: I do it every damned day. I've set my filters up very specifically, and they require me to actively choose to read stuff from you every single time I check my f-list. If after that, you continue to bring your bullshit problem to me here, you will have used up your third chance: you will be summarily removed from my f-list without warning, since you obviously are incapable of handling who I really am, and are simultaneously incapable of making the life decisions for yourself that would shield you from things you cannot handle. You're fucking welcome, now piss off. Once viewing "privileges" for my journal have been revoked, there is no way to reinstate them; you're done forever. END OF FUCKING STORY. I have done this numerous times already to various & sundry people over the years, and I'm sure this week won't be the last time, but do NOT tell me that you weren't fucking warned, else I will link you directly back to this post & tack on a "STFU" for good measure.
Now. This is the last time I will address this issue, ever, in my journal. The rules are quite clear, are publicly available, and are not up for discussion. If you don't like it, you are welcome to leave. My journal: my rules.
The End.
On December 1st, 2001, I said: "I must, here in the beginning, summarily state that while I may acknowledge any hurt feelings as valid, I will NOT apologize for anything I say here and I most certainly WILL NOT censor myself for the sake of said feelings. This is mine, it's for me and not for anyone else, it's the one place where I can say whatever I truly mean about anything and anyone, and fuck the repercussions 'cause there shouldn't be any. If I have to communicate as a 3 year old in order to get my point across, I will: MINE! NOT YOURS! And you have no right to bitch about any of it, because it is MY JOURNAL, you grok me?"
Obviously, my position on the sanctity of my journal has not changed over the course of a decade, so it's probably pretty safe to assume it's not going to change any time soon. I'm relatively fluid overall, and generally speaking more willing than pretty much anyone I've ever known to admit that my view on any given thing in the universe is probably wrong, and therefore I am equally willing to entertain alternate viewpoints and adjust my own accordingly. HOWEVER. You need to understand and accept that this place, my journal, has been for the entirety of that decade the one and only place in all my meatworld exsistence that I can go to be who I truly am and say anything I may need to say. I do not care how much I love you, I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. If you think I'm fucked up, try wrapping your head around how fucking dysfunctional I would be if I'd spent that decade without anywhere safe to ever really be openly me.
Let's throw a different spin on things for a second, shall we? "Disappointment is a byproduct of expectations, not of results. By expecting someone to be more than what you know they are, you are unfairly setting them up to let you down." I have, both with the previous posts linked to here, and with this very post itself, made it excruciatingly clear what you can and cannot expect from me in my journal. If you continue to have some kind of problem with anything I say here, it is just that: YOUR PROBLEM. I will enact the 3 chances policy that I apply to every person I have ever known in my entire life who gives me unnecessary shit: because, whomever you are or whomever you are to me, you are not a special and unique snowflake. Your first chance was getting invited to view my journal at all. If you bring your bullshit problem to me here, you have used up your second chance: I will immediately shut you down (read: screen any comments you've posted and freeze any threads you've begun) AND I will not be including you in my viewings of my f-list for at least a month so that I do not get exposed to you continuing to rant in your own journal. I'm not asking. I. DO NOT. CARE. You're entitled to your opinions, but I no more have to read them than you have to read any of my drivel. Choose wisely: I do it every damned day. I've set my filters up very specifically, and they require me to actively choose to read stuff from you every single time I check my f-list. If after that, you continue to bring your bullshit problem to me here, you will have used up your third chance: you will be summarily removed from my f-list without warning, since you obviously are incapable of handling who I really am, and are simultaneously incapable of making the life decisions for yourself that would shield you from things you cannot handle. You're fucking welcome, now piss off. Once viewing "privileges" for my journal have been revoked, there is no way to reinstate them; you're done forever. END OF FUCKING STORY. I have done this numerous times already to various & sundry people over the years, and I'm sure this week won't be the last time, but do NOT tell me that you weren't fucking warned, else I will link you directly back to this post & tack on a "STFU" for good measure.
Now. This is the last time I will address this issue, ever, in my journal. The rules are quite clear, are publicly available, and are not up for discussion. If you don't like it, you are welcome to leave. My journal: my rules.
The End.