(no subject)

[erinward]

i hate life right now. nothing is going right. not school. not home. not family. not even friends. not even music. i hate everything about my life. i hate waking up here in the morning and i hate coming home. i hate life with every second that passes and with every breathe i take. i wish i had some power to do anything. but everytime i speak up i get brushed away like a two year old. i hate it so much. i wish it would just end. this terrible cycle- would just end. one day when i dont come home theyre going to call and ask where i am. and ill be gone. and they wont be able to reach me. not anymore. i hate all of them for the way the treat me. im not a little girl. look at me. im almost eighteen. im grown up. i dont need my mom to dress me and set my clothes out in the morning. i dont need my dad to tuck me in at night (not that he EVER did.) i dont need my sister to play with me. (and by play i mean try and choke me with legos). instead my mom has no backbone even when shes right. my dad is a new-age nazi.. and my sister's apple doesnt fall far from the tree. alot of people think im kidding. but they just dont get it. when im home alone with karli. im not allowed music. i hate to stay in my room. im not allowed to use the phone. i have to use the back door. im not allowed to watch tv. or to shut my bedroom door. what do my parents do? well my dad encourages this behavior.. and my mom does nothing to stop it. im tired of being treated like an insignificant child. im not coming home tomorrow. let them worry. let them celebrate.

i hate them. i hate life.
excuse me sir, but i have plans to die tonight.

<3erin