it's been too long
and i'm tired and don't have a horrible lot to say.
i miss you terribly.
i feel disconnected.
i feel like every day i have an opportunity to mold, shape, help these two baby girls become intelligent, wonderful, special women.....and each day passes me by and i don't know what i've done or what i've taught them, or even if they like me.
and it tears my heart apart. all i ever wanted was to be a mom, and hell, you don't even have to go to school or take classes for that---any schmuck can be a parent. and i've fucked up so many things in my life and am fearful abby and izzy will wind up so, too. after all, the apple rarely falls far from the tree, right?
i don't even hold them enough---hell, there are two of them, how can i? and i worry about doing everything the same exact amount---will one of them feel slighted?
i unfortunately have to stop here, but will write more tomorrow as my mother-in-law is supposed to take them so i can rest a bit.....
i miss you all so much.
love,
erin
i miss you terribly.
i feel disconnected.
i feel like every day i have an opportunity to mold, shape, help these two baby girls become intelligent, wonderful, special women.....and each day passes me by and i don't know what i've done or what i've taught them, or even if they like me.
and it tears my heart apart. all i ever wanted was to be a mom, and hell, you don't even have to go to school or take classes for that---any schmuck can be a parent. and i've fucked up so many things in my life and am fearful abby and izzy will wind up so, too. after all, the apple rarely falls far from the tree, right?
i don't even hold them enough---hell, there are two of them, how can i? and i worry about doing everything the same exact amount---will one of them feel slighted?
i unfortunately have to stop here, but will write more tomorrow as my mother-in-law is supposed to take them so i can rest a bit.....
i miss you all so much.
love,
erin