This is funny, I swear.
This was an email that I recieved from some college in God knows where America:
{THE SUBJECT LINE WAS, "I'M IMPRESSED"
"Erin,
Your recent academic accomplishments have caught my eye. You should be proud of your success so far and be eager to keep up the good work!
I would like to send you How to Select Your Perfect Major, a helpful guide that gives you specific tips on what to think about when considering choosing a major.
Click here to get your guide.
Sincerely,
April E. Hansen
Director of Undergraduate Admission
Loyola University Chicago
820 N. Michigan Avenue
Chicago, IL 60611-2196
We received your contact information from a national student testing or research organization, or from a previous contact with you. If you'd rather not receive e-mail from us, please let us know."
THIS WAS MY RESPONSE BECUASE IM SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT SUCKING UP MY INBOX SPACE:
"Hello, I don't know if a real person emailed me this or not. If it was, thank you. But if it was the same email that you sent to hundreds of kids just like me, I would ask that you please not email me anymore.
I doubt that my academic achievements have caught anyone's eye recently. And I'm positive that I am not the only one who scored low in math on the PSAT's and unaturally high in reading and writng. I would just like you to know that I am not planning on attending your college after my Senior year, or ever, and that you don't need to use fake flattery tactics to get me to look into your college. That is, if you did send me a generic email with my name just typed into the top.
If you are a real person, I apologize but you have to understand that I get about a hundred of these a day and that I am only 16 and still do not know what I want to do with my life. I also apologize for the inconvienience. Thank you very much.
Erin Secord"
{THE SUBJECT LINE WAS, "I'M IMPRESSED"
"Erin,
Your recent academic accomplishments have caught my eye. You should be proud of your success so far and be eager to keep up the good work!
I would like to send you How to Select Your Perfect Major, a helpful guide that gives you specific tips on what to think about when considering choosing a major.
Click here to get your guide.
Sincerely,
April E. Hansen
Director of Undergraduate Admission
Loyola University Chicago
820 N. Michigan Avenue
Chicago, IL 60611-2196
We received your contact information from a national student testing or research organization, or from a previous contact with you. If you'd rather not receive e-mail from us, please let us know."
THIS WAS MY RESPONSE BECUASE IM SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT SUCKING UP MY INBOX SPACE:
"Hello, I don't know if a real person emailed me this or not. If it was, thank you. But if it was the same email that you sent to hundreds of kids just like me, I would ask that you please not email me anymore.
I doubt that my academic achievements have caught anyone's eye recently. And I'm positive that I am not the only one who scored low in math on the PSAT's and unaturally high in reading and writng. I would just like you to know that I am not planning on attending your college after my Senior year, or ever, and that you don't need to use fake flattery tactics to get me to look into your college. That is, if you did send me a generic email with my name just typed into the top.
If you are a real person, I apologize but you have to understand that I get about a hundred of these a day and that I am only 16 and still do not know what I want to do with my life. I also apologize for the inconvienience. Thank you very much.
Erin Secord"