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as is typical for me to do during difficult times, i've been evaluating my relationships a lot lately. specifically i've been thinking about fair weather friends. i'm learning that i have a lot more fair weather friends than i initially realized. at first i was surprised by this, but upon closer examination of my histories with these friends i
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i'm not upset with you, you've had a ton happen over the past year and panic attacks are pretty detrimental to being able to do anything other than attempt to calm down. i do wish you would've called but i get how sometimes it's hard to do that, and how there's like this unspoken time limit where every extra day you wait makes you feel like more of a dick. i got in that loop with people in the past, and it sucks. this entry isn't about only you. i mean...all of my friend have pretty much ditched me over the last few months. like...every single one of them, it's been hard to feel so deserted during such a low point. one of my friends (and two people i wasn't particularly close to but had gotten used to having around) up and moved the day after brendan and i got back from boston without any warning or even a proper goodbye. overall i've felt totally deserted over the last few months. it sucks.
so, all that being said, i love you, and i'm not mad at you, but it would be pretty awesome to hang out soon, cuz i miss you bunches.
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