(no subject)
i can feel myself healing. i can feel myself getting stronger and regaining my balance.
i'm not there yet, though.
a few things have happened this week that i think bear mentioning.
1. daffodils!! spring is coming, warm weather is here, and with daffodils exploding all over south jersey i know it will be ok.
2. brendan and i went for a walk in my old neighborhood. i like to do this from time to time to remind myself that even the hardest times will feel like a distant memory one day. i had a very unhappy childhood but...it's over. i can make my adult life anything i want it to be, and you know what? i'm pretty happy with where my life is right now. so...i can handle it. all this awful shit that i'm trying to work through right now...i will get there.
3. matt's body has been repatriated. i don't know if he'll have a grave or not, but it's good to know that his body is finally back in the country, and i am trying really hard to not think about craig and his parents looking at his seven weeks dead body with a nasty bruise around the neck. the image is hard to shake, though.
4. will e-mailed me. it seems like concrete proof that all things are transient.
i'm not there yet, though.
a few things have happened this week that i think bear mentioning.
1. daffodils!! spring is coming, warm weather is here, and with daffodils exploding all over south jersey i know it will be ok.
2. brendan and i went for a walk in my old neighborhood. i like to do this from time to time to remind myself that even the hardest times will feel like a distant memory one day. i had a very unhappy childhood but...it's over. i can make my adult life anything i want it to be, and you know what? i'm pretty happy with where my life is right now. so...i can handle it. all this awful shit that i'm trying to work through right now...i will get there.
3. matt's body has been repatriated. i don't know if he'll have a grave or not, but it's good to know that his body is finally back in the country, and i am trying really hard to not think about craig and his parents looking at his seven weeks dead body with a nasty bruise around the neck. the image is hard to shake, though.
4. will e-mailed me. it seems like concrete proof that all things are transient.