Question about language, especially for Southerners

[eric_hinkle]

Just so I know for the future when I'm talking to or e-mailing people; when a lady from what is usually seen as the 'Deep South', that is Alabama or Arkansas or Mississppi, calls someone 'honey' or the like, it's not meant as anything other than an endearment, right

Comments

[haikujaguar]

Not so much ingratiating as just... more effusive/friendly/neighborly/folksy.

But yes, someone from around there calling you 'honey' is a non-event. I wouldn't even go so far as to say it's an endearment. Think less 'my love' or 'my dear' and more 'my friend' or 'man' (like "I get you, man", not like Christian "Thou, Man.") :)

[eric_hinkle]

Not so much ingratiating as just... more effusive/friendly/neighborly/folksy.

Okay, thanks. I thought as much.

But yes, someone from around there calling you 'honey' is a non-event.

It's a non-event there, but up here (especially among the older Dutch folks) it's very noticeable. You wouldn't believe how jumpy and deliberately unemotional the local culture can get -- in my (Protestant) catechism, we were told horror story after horror story about the War. No, not Vietnam or WW2, but the Thirty Years' War. Yes, "the Catholics were coming to get us" was a part of my religious training/studies.

[jeriendhal]

What the Jaguar said. Definitely a non-event, and in Baltimore they reduce even further to just "Hon". (which led to jokes about the city being founded by Mongol hordes, but that's another story.)

[eric_hinkle]

I didn't know Baltimore was seen as part of the South.

[kalika_tybera]

I'm no expert on the south, but I believe 'honey' is indeed used as a casual endearment.
I grew up in QC Canada, and when I went to Atlanta GA for a convention a few years ago I was amazed at how different people sounded. They were all very polite though, even a bit friendlier than what I'm used to seeing (although to be fair I grew up in the city).

[eric_hinkle]

Thanks, though I thought that French (I'm assuming you heard it, in and around Quebec?) tends towards lots of endearments in normal use?

[kalika_tybera]

Yes, I am bilingual although my English is better. I personally didn't really hear many endearments around, but again, I grew up in the city, so it may also have played into it.

[eric_hinkle]

Okay, and thanks, but again up here (in PA) it's strange to hear it.

[eric_hinkle]

I wasn't insulted, I was just wondering how I ought to respond. As in, did her saying this make it okay to become less formal and even engage in joking flirtation (as it would 'up here', and as I sometimes do), or should I still be on my toes?

[frost_wraith]

Casual term of endearment. So is "hon". "Darlin" is NOT casual. Never refer to someone of the same gender as "hon" or "honey".

If you are from the north, and have a noticeable northern accent (bostonian, new england, bronx, mid-western) don't try to mimic our sayings or terms. I've met some southerners who would think your making fun of them, other than them, everyone else thinks it just sounds goofy.

Every dark carbonated beverage that is not root-beer or a flavored cola is a Coke. This is regardless if the actual drink in question is a Pepsi, RC Cola, or generic brand. I've heard stories of this confusing northerners. This is very prevalent around Atlanta (can you say PR coup?)

Lets see what else...oh yes do not mention General Sherman, ESPECIALLY near Atlanta. Most of the teenagers will give you a "duuuuuuuhhhhhh" look if you mention him, but some of the older folks will get angry.

I think that about covers it. Feel free to ask more questions. Plenty of southern furs here.

(hail Coke)

[eric_hinkle]

Thanks for the lis, it's helpful.

And I remember how the first carousel supposedly got in trouble in Georgia (of the throwing rocks kind) when they chose to play the song "When Sherman Went Marchin' Through Georgia."

[eric_hinkle]

For "lis" read "list".

[polaris93]

The Deep South strongly tends toward the kind, the civilized, and the courtly. And yes, there, "Honey" is an endearment, not used sarcastically (as it might be in, say, Hollywood, CA). You say "you-all" or "y'all" if speaking about more than three people, "you" if addressing one or two others. You can find a lot of information on Deep South culture and use of language in Ernest M. Mickler's White Trash Cooking and his other books, which are as much about regional life as they are about cooking. (The "White Trash" is used there for fun, not pejoratively or sarcastically; in that cookbook, he describes food eaten by ordinary folks, and gives recipes for some of the best food you ever tasted. And his other cookbooks and regional culture books are great, too. :-))

[eric_hinkle]

Thanks for the explanation and the recommendation.

[polaris93]

You're most welcome. Some of the other commenters gave excellent advice, better than mine, too.