The Drunken Dutchman and the Devil's Barn: or, Well Owl Be!
I'm guess I'm just feeling garrulous here; but I've been remembering stories my father told me that I think some of you folks might enjoy reading. And given the recent popularity of the Owls of Ga'hoole movie, well...
This would have happened in Dutch Country in SE Pennsylvania, probably back in the ate 30's to early 40's. My uncles were celebrating together as two of them were about to leave the home for the first time ever - Uncle George, the oldest, was going to go to the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps) out in the Southwest and Uncle Bill, the fighter of the family, was about to join the Army (where he ended up guarding the Panama Canal). They were also old enough to drink and with Prohibition gone, were celebrating with the aid of local hard cider cooked up by a neighbor who'd paid them to help run his stuff in to the Sun Inn in Bethlehem when Volstead was in power.
Anyway... so there they were, young, drunk, and bored, George and Bill and Uncle Henry and Uncle Francey. It was dark and it was October and, being standard young Dutchmen of the time, they were telling ghost stories in a mocking tone (this despite they'd supposedly seen ghosts before). Bill, as pugnacious as ever, began to boast about his fearlessness.
"I don't fear any ghost, nor even the Devil! If I ran into Old Scratch on the road I'd tie a knot in his tail and make him thank me for it!"
"Well, if you're so brave," one of them said, "why don't you go up there and show us the Devil?" And as he spoke he went to the window and pointed up to the top of the hill where the family lived.
Now, on top of this hill was a very old, very large barn. It had been long abandoned after the owner and builder died in it one day. There'd been some strangeness about his dying (Dad never said what). And the local story had it that the barn was haunted by Lucifer himself. At night, people who dared approach the barn heard the flap of wings from inside mingled with unearthly screams.
Bill gave the old barn a wary look and said that he had better things to do than to go and look in an old empty barn. Of course that started it:
"Hah! Coward! You want to join the Army, and you don't even have the nerve to go and look in a barn!"
That did it! Bill was a short-tempered man, and he took mockery poorly. "Me, a coward?!?" he roared. "I'll show you little boys what a man looks like! Just stay here, and when I bring the Devil back down I'll break his pitchfork over your heads!" And with that he downed one last bottle of beer and strode -- well, staggered -- up the hill to the barn.
It was a dark and cold and still night. The moon showed just enough to make you wish it didn't. Bill wondered about what he was doing, but he kept going all the long way up the hill until he reached the old barn. Once there he listened. No wings; no screams. He forced the creaky old doors open just enough to slip in and started to look around for a trophy in the moonlight coming in through gaps in the roof to return with as proof.
Now, Dad told me, this barn didn't have any devils or ghosts in it. It did, however, have several very surly barn owls nesting inside. And as Bill strode around, drunkenly calling for the Devil to present himself, he awoke the owls. And they were not happy.
One owl dove at Bill, flying just above his head and giving out a hellish screech. Bill jumped and yelled almost as loudly.
"GOTT IN HIMMEL! The Devil really is here!" He turned and ran for the doors, frantically trying to force his way past them.
And just then a second owl, bolder than its mate, dove right into Bill and sank its talons into his back. It screeched in fury and began pecking at his head.
You can guess what Bill thought was happening.
The enxt thing his brothers knew, they heard a panic-stricken Bill racing down the hill towards them, accompanied by the most bone-chilling screams imaginable. They rose from their chairts just as Bill burst in through the door, blood running, and with a white-faced screaming fiend clinging to his back. "AHHHH! HELP ME! THE DEVIL GOT A HOLD OF ME AND HE'S BITIN' ME ON THE HEAD!"
It didn't take long to figure out that the "Devil" was an owl. But that lead to another problem. Removing the owl. The bird was furious. It refused to let go of Bill. And whenever anyone approached, it hissed at them and dug its talons deeper into Bill's back. Every now and then it gave him a few pecks for good measure.
First they called the local doctor. He simply said, "You expect me to come out at this hour? You drunken fools got yourselves into this, get yourselves out of it!"
Next they called the local game warden. He came out, took one look, and laughed until he rolled on the ground. Then the game warden called the state troopers and two of them came and they laughed until they rolled on the ground. However, they managed to get a burlap bag over the owl and with considerable effort pried the owl's talons from Bill's back. They then took the bird elsewhere to release it.
Bill recovered with only a few scars, but as Dad said, it was a very long time before Bill walked into any abandoned barns again.
This would have happened in Dutch Country in SE Pennsylvania, probably back in the ate 30's to early 40's. My uncles were celebrating together as two of them were about to leave the home for the first time ever - Uncle George, the oldest, was going to go to the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps) out in the Southwest and Uncle Bill, the fighter of the family, was about to join the Army (where he ended up guarding the Panama Canal). They were also old enough to drink and with Prohibition gone, were celebrating with the aid of local hard cider cooked up by a neighbor who'd paid them to help run his stuff in to the Sun Inn in Bethlehem when Volstead was in power.
Anyway... so there they were, young, drunk, and bored, George and Bill and Uncle Henry and Uncle Francey. It was dark and it was October and, being standard young Dutchmen of the time, they were telling ghost stories in a mocking tone (this despite they'd supposedly seen ghosts before). Bill, as pugnacious as ever, began to boast about his fearlessness.
"I don't fear any ghost, nor even the Devil! If I ran into Old Scratch on the road I'd tie a knot in his tail and make him thank me for it!"
"Well, if you're so brave," one of them said, "why don't you go up there and show us the Devil?" And as he spoke he went to the window and pointed up to the top of the hill where the family lived.
Now, on top of this hill was a very old, very large barn. It had been long abandoned after the owner and builder died in it one day. There'd been some strangeness about his dying (Dad never said what). And the local story had it that the barn was haunted by Lucifer himself. At night, people who dared approach the barn heard the flap of wings from inside mingled with unearthly screams.
Bill gave the old barn a wary look and said that he had better things to do than to go and look in an old empty barn. Of course that started it:
"Hah! Coward! You want to join the Army, and you don't even have the nerve to go and look in a barn!"
That did it! Bill was a short-tempered man, and he took mockery poorly. "Me, a coward?!?" he roared. "I'll show you little boys what a man looks like! Just stay here, and when I bring the Devil back down I'll break his pitchfork over your heads!" And with that he downed one last bottle of beer and strode -- well, staggered -- up the hill to the barn.
It was a dark and cold and still night. The moon showed just enough to make you wish it didn't. Bill wondered about what he was doing, but he kept going all the long way up the hill until he reached the old barn. Once there he listened. No wings; no screams. He forced the creaky old doors open just enough to slip in and started to look around for a trophy in the moonlight coming in through gaps in the roof to return with as proof.
Now, Dad told me, this barn didn't have any devils or ghosts in it. It did, however, have several very surly barn owls nesting inside. And as Bill strode around, drunkenly calling for the Devil to present himself, he awoke the owls. And they were not happy.
One owl dove at Bill, flying just above his head and giving out a hellish screech. Bill jumped and yelled almost as loudly.
"GOTT IN HIMMEL! The Devil really is here!" He turned and ran for the doors, frantically trying to force his way past them.
And just then a second owl, bolder than its mate, dove right into Bill and sank its talons into his back. It screeched in fury and began pecking at his head.
You can guess what Bill thought was happening.
The enxt thing his brothers knew, they heard a panic-stricken Bill racing down the hill towards them, accompanied by the most bone-chilling screams imaginable. They rose from their chairts just as Bill burst in through the door, blood running, and with a white-faced screaming fiend clinging to his back. "AHHHH! HELP ME! THE DEVIL GOT A HOLD OF ME AND HE'S BITIN' ME ON THE HEAD!"
It didn't take long to figure out that the "Devil" was an owl. But that lead to another problem. Removing the owl. The bird was furious. It refused to let go of Bill. And whenever anyone approached, it hissed at them and dug its talons deeper into Bill's back. Every now and then it gave him a few pecks for good measure.
First they called the local doctor. He simply said, "You expect me to come out at this hour? You drunken fools got yourselves into this, get yourselves out of it!"
Next they called the local game warden. He came out, took one look, and laughed until he rolled on the ground. Then the game warden called the state troopers and two of them came and they laughed until they rolled on the ground. However, they managed to get a burlap bag over the owl and with considerable effort pried the owl's talons from Bill's back. They then took the bird elsewhere to release it.
Bill recovered with only a few scars, but as Dad said, it was a very long time before Bill walked into any abandoned barns again.