Break Bee
Break Bee
Disclaimer: I own nothing!!
Part: 5 of ?
Word Count: 3333
Once every week, rain or shine, Kira Izuru found time to go tend his parents graves. Even if he had to do it in the dead of night in lieu of sleep. He had never failed and he was not about to fail in his duties as a son because of a little illness. However, Soifon was an entirely different matter.
"No!" she said firmly, "You are not leaving the house."
"Don't be like that," begged Kira, "The cemetery is not far from here and a little walk in the fresh air will do me good."
"If you want a little walk in the fresh air, you can pace in the garden," countered Soifon, "The cemetery is half a ri away! Granted normally that would not be much of a distance, especially with Shunpo. But, you can't use Shunpo right now or you shouldn't use shunpo right now and I rather doubt your recovery will be helped by the long walk and the physical exertion needed to clean and maintain the grave," she reasoned.
"But..."
"No buts! I'll... I'll go in your place," said Soifon.
Kira blinked, "Shaolin..."
"What? I am almost your wife, so it's fine if I go," she said looking away, it a bit of a sore point between them, the fact that they could not, would not get married.
Just like that a wave of depression crashed on down Kira, "Thank you," he whispered, suddenly feeling drained and tired and thinking of nothing but to not have that discussion... have that fight again.
There was no point. There was no solution to the problem. They couldn't get married, because their clans were not equals. The Fon clan was several rungs up on the clan ladder then the Kira clan. If they got married, Kira Izuru would have to leave his clan and join the Fon clan. He couldn't do that. That would effectively be the death sentence for his clan, his clan that had finally started getting some recognition because of his captaincy. However, if Kira didn't leave his clan and Soifon went ahead and married him anyway, SHE would be cast out of her clan. The Fon's were harsh and even though it would mean depriving the clan of its brightest star, they would do it. The Fon clan did not abide by rule breakers. Being cast out would hurt Soifon's pride, damage her honour. She couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it, not even for him and that was all their was to it.
There was one serious and real implication to their present arrangement. As long as Soifon was a member of the Fon clan and not married, her children would automatically be part of the Fon clan. The Fon clan sole purpose of existence was to be of service to the Shihōin clan by joining the Onmitsukidō. Any member who does not pass the test to get into the Onmitsukidō is immediately exiled from the family. To ensure they do not disgrace their parents and relatives by getting exiled, the children of the Fon clan are trained mercilessly and placed under enormous pressure to succeed. Kira did not much approve of the methods by which the Fon clan brought up their children and certainly didn't want HIS children brought up like that. Which meant that no matter how much he loved Soifon, he could never, ever have children with her. Not that she was all that keen on the idea of ruining her combat ready body by bearing children but...
"You are thinking gloomy thoughts aren't you?" said Soifon, sounding exceedingly irritated, "You have that look on your face. You know, like you think the world is about to end... well actually no, not that face. I have seen THAT face! I will never forget how you screamed like a little girl back during the fight in Fake Karakura town, just before the Vizards showed up."
"I did not scream like a little girl!" protested Kira, "And if I recall correctly, you were looking pretty terrified yourself!"
"I wasn't screaming, This is it! It's all over!" Soifon pointed out, "You fall into despair so easily, Izuru. What am I ever going to do with you?" she wondered as she wrapped herself around him.
Kira smiled, "Just keep doing what you are doing now and I promise I won't fall into despair," Just stay with me, never leave me and I won't have any cause for despair.
Little Shunsui peeped into Komamura's room and spyed the 7th Squad captain busy attending to the administrative duties associated with running a squad with his Vice-captain Iba. Komamura's dog, Goro, was stretched out at Komamura's feet. However, it seemed to sense Shunsui because it immediately looked up and was about to give a happy bark when Shunsui shook his head before beckoning it to come. Goro seemed to understand and began to stealthily inching towards the door, much to Shunsui's delight.
"Is there a reason you are calling Goro away without saying hello to me, Shunsui?" asked Komamura, who had noticed almost all of Shunsui and Goro's movements.
Shunsui stepped in and plastered a big bright smile on his face, "I just didn't want to disturb you, Komamura-san, seeing as how you are busy. I just wanted to go for a walk with Goro."
Komamura did not fail to noticed the subtle signs about the boy that betrayed the fact he was not telling the entire truth. The 7th Squad Captain wondered whether he should push the point. But, he noticed that the boy also bore signs of being fairly upset. This was reason enough for Komamura to let him be. "Very well," he said with a kind smile, "Enjoy your walk."
"Thanks Komamura-san! Your the best! Not to mention the cuddliest!" said the boy before rushing off.
Iba shook his head in resignation. The seventh squad's reputation had been suffering continuously since the birth of the twins. Because as far as the twins were concerned, Captain Komamura being a humanoid wolf equalled to him being a giant walking, talking stuffed toy! Captain Komamura, who had suffered a lifetime of discrimination because of his looks, found the children's adoration delightful. After all, it was one thing to be tolerated, another to be accepted but to be actually loved for what you were... that was something entirely different. However... did Shunsui really have to include a dog character in his Adventures of Haineko manga called Koma-koma - the cuddliest dog in all of Soul Society? Iba sighed, wondering if he would ever be able to show his face in Squad 11 again.
Soifon stood in front of Kira's parents grave for a moment gathering her thoughts. Having composed what she was going to say she pressing her palms together and prayed, "I am sorry," she began, "Kira couldn't be here. He's sick, so... so I am here instead," she paused, before adding, "I know I am not his wife... and can't be his wife as things stand but... but I hope you will over look it. I mean... I do love him. I really do. So... so... please understand!" with that she hastily bowed before starting the task of cleaning and maintaining the grave.
"I am not allowed to come to the cemetery by myself," Shunsui was saying to Goro, "But I really wanted to visit mom but with Kira-san sick, I couldn't really ask anyone else. Well... I guess I could have asked Orihime-chan. She's good at keeping secrets but I would have had to tell her that I know that Ichimaru Gin is my birth father and I don't think she would have been able to keep that from Nanao-san. But I don't want Nanao-san to ever find out. It would make her so sad and might make her cry. I don't want Nanao-san to cry. I don't like it. It's better when she's happy and smiling. She doesn't smile enough as it is," the boy told the dog, "But daddy just said I couldn't come to the cemetery alone! He didn't say I have to have a shinigami with me! Besides, your as good as any shinigami! Aren't you Goro!"
Goro let out a loud woof of affirmative and jumped up to lick the boy's face. Shunsui giggled, "Yeah, so we are going to go visit my mom's grave today and you have to promise not to say anything to Komamura-san. If you did, he would have to tell daddy about it. Although, I think daddy knows I figured it out. He just hasn't said anything because I haven't said anything. Maybe he hasn't said anything because Rangiku doesn't know, isn't curious enough to figure out the puzzle behind my silver hair. I wonder if she even thought about how I don't look like mom or dad. Probably hasn't. She's not the type to seek out puzzles. If someone points it out to her, maybe she'll think about it and figure it out. It's not exactly hard. But," turning back to the dog, "You promise, don't you Goro? Not to say anything?"
The dog barked again, Shunsui giggled, "Thanks!"
Shunsui walked the familiar path that lead to his mother's grave, taking absent note of the few other people who had also come to mourn. There was an young couple dressed in their best kimonos kneeling by a grave near the gate. In the far corner there were a few of shinigami gathered around a grave marked with a large stone, Shunsui paused to survey them. He didn't recognise them or the grave they were visiting. He ignored them, trusting that they were too absorbed in their business to take note of him. The last mourner in the cemetery was a young woman dressed in a bright yellow kimono embroidered with black tread, her hair was done up very delicately with flowers and an expensive looking hair ornament. Shunsui only caught a side profile of her face. He thought she was very pretty but not anyone he knew. If she was still here after he was done and he felt up to it, he should probably go and introduce himself. After all, as his father always said, you can never know too many women.
Once he got there, he smiled the biggest smile he could manage at the moment, "Hi mom! I came to visit you and look I brought Goro with me! You remember Goro don't you? Captain Komamura's dog? Daddy said I can't come here by myself, so I asked Goro to come with me. I a... I really wanted to talk to you," he said as he sat down in from the of the grave, reaching inside his Yakuta he produced some incense and set them up before lighting them, "See... it's about the scrapbook you left me about..." he paused and sighed, "I guess I should really say my father but I don't want to disrespect daddy, after all Captain Commander Koyraku Shunsui is my father, but calling him Ichimaru Gin just doesn't feel right either. I guess you would call it a bit of a dilemma," said the boy.
"But that's not what I am here to talk about. See some days ago, before Kira-san got sick, I was at squad three looking through the scrapbook and I got to the page where you talked about my name. About how you wanted to name me Gin after him but he wouldn't let you because he didn't want me to be tainted by his deeds. But you said that you thought he was going to ask you to name me Souske after Aizen but stopped at the last minute and joked about naming me after Captain Hitsugaya," the words just spilled out of him, "Why would he do that? Why would he want to name me after Aizen? I don't understand it at all?" he said, "I don't understand him. He wouldn't let you name me after him because he didn't want me to be tainted but he was ready for me to be named after Aizen! That doesn't make any sense!" he cried, before sighing, "I wanted to ask Captain Kira about it but he was busy and so I didn't get a chance to ask and then he got sick. But I have been thinking about it ever since. How did I end up with my name? Did daddy pick it? But I would have thought daddy would have named me after Yama-jii or even Ukitake-san. It doesn't make sense," he said as tears well up in his eyes, "heh, look at this," he said self mockingly as he brushed aside some tears, "I don't even know why I am crying! I am not upset... well maybe a little but I am not sure what I am upset about."
The boy sobbed, "I guess, I guess I kind of wonder how... how one man could be so many things. I mean, he was an unrepentant traitor but he was also a captain Kira-san really admired, a playmate Yachiru-chan still misses and..." he sobbed, "Nanao-san thinks we don't notice that she makes a visit all by herself to you every year on the 10th of September. But we do! I just didn't know why she always bought you a bottle of sake with two glasses every year on the 10th. I mean, I knew she wasn't drinking any. As daddy put it, she always comes home painfully sober. But now I know. That's how you used to celebrate his birthday, drinking a glass of sake with him... you said so in the scrapbook," said the boy, "You must really have loved him.... I mean, I knew you loved him and all. What I mean is that... that you loved him so much that Nanao-san is still helping you celebrate his birthday, or maybe its because in her own way, Nanao-san misses him too," little Shunsui explained.
"I don't know if the ghost of Aizen and Tosen still haunt Seireitei but... but the ghost of Ichimaru Gin is certainly still here," Shunsui pulled up his knees and buried his face in his thighs, his shoulders shook from his tears, "I wish I didn't look like him. Maybe if I didn't look like him. Then maybe, maybe... people wouldn't be so sad, just because they wouldn't be reminded of him every time they look at me."
Goro made a small nose and nuzzled his side, trying to comfort him. Goro wasn't the only one. Suddenly Shunsui found himself pulled into a warm hug by the woman he had seen earlier, the woman in the yellow kimono. It was not till he smelt her honey scented skin did Shunsui realise that the woman was in fact Captain Soifon, "Ichimaru named you," she told him in answer to his earlier question, in a hushed whisper, "During Matsumoto's funeral, he saw you for the first time," and the last time as well, she added to herself, "And he was the one who named you. It was, important to him."
Ichimaru reached for his son, "What ya name 'im?" he asked as he cradled the boy, "I mean, I am assum'n ya named my li'l angel Rangiku."
"Yes," replied Orhime, "Rangiku-san made it clear that girl was to be named after her. But," she tilted her chin towards the boy, "He doesn't have a name yet," she explained, "Rangiku-san died before she picked a name and with everything that's been happening, Kyoraku-san hasn't picked one yet either."
"I see," whispered Gin, after a moment's thought he moved forward. He approached Captain Kyoraku and Nanao, "Name 'im Shunsui," he said to Kyoraku, "Rangiku wanted ta name 'im after 'is father. Ya're his father now, so ya should name him after yerself."
Soifon gently rubbed Shunsui's back in an attempt to calm the boy as he continued sob into her chest. "Don't cry," she whispered, "You don't make anyone sad," she told him.
"That's not true!" sobbed the boy, "Kira-san still get's all choked up when he looks at me and Hinamori would be very happy if I got eaten by a hollow."
"I wouldn't worry about what Hinamori thinks," said Soifon, "You could have been the spitting image of Matsumoto Rangiku, like your sister, and she would still hate you. Her problem is that the Aizen she loved was an illusion. While Ichimaru Gin was real in a way neither Aizen nor Tosen was. Ichimaru never hid his true nature. Aizen did. Tosen was a complicated story. He truly believed that he was righteous but blind righteousness can often lead to hypocrisy and Tosen Kaname was a hypocrite of the first order. So you see, you don't make Hinamori sad. She makes herself miserable."
"But Kira-san..."
"Is very happy that his captain lives on in you," said Soifon, "Just as Ise is happy her friend is alive in you. Don't ever be upset about being exactly the way you are," she told him, "Because there is really nothing to be upset about."
The boy said nothing, just hugged her a little harder. Finally he pulled away and looked her up and down, "You look pretty," he said smiling brightly, a real, unforced smile, "You should dress-up more often!"
Soifon pulled a face, "I don't know about that. It took me over an hour to get dressed!"
"But you look so nice!" protested the boy.
"What, I don't look nice normally?" demanded Soifon playfully, happy that Shunsui seemed to be returning to normal.
"O no, you always look nice!" said Shunsui, "Just that today you look extra nice!"
"Thanks," said Soifon with a smile, "Now come on, I'll take you back home."
"You don't have to!" said the boy, "I have Goro! We'll get back to Squad seven in no time. Then I'll head home."
"Shunsui," whispered Soifon, "It's okay, I won't say anything to Nanao or to the Captain-commander."
"Thanks," said Shunsui, sounding a little sad again, "It might upset Nanao-san and I don't want to upset Nanao-san. I love her so much! I only ever want to be a reason to make her smile."
"You are," Soifon assured him, "Don't worry about that."
Shunsui smiled, "Okay! Let's go! If I am late, Komamura-san will worry!"
Soifon smiled as she got up to go, "You know, Shunsui," Soifon suddenly decided to add, "In a way, this is Ichimaru's grave too. You see, Shinsou is down there."
"Wha.. what? But I thought the zanpakuto of traitors were destroyed!" came the reply of the surprised little boy.
"Normally they are, but on the day of Matsumoto's funeral he requested that Shinsou be buried with Heinako and Matsumoto. He didn't deserve it, he said so himself, but if only for the sake of my own soul and peace of mind, I complied," she explained.
Shunsui smiled, "Thanks for telling me! I am... I am glad. Because this way Heinako won't be lonely!"
Soifon smiled, "Yes, Heinako won't be lonely. Now come on, let's get going!" she offered her hand to Shunsui, which he immediately accepted and they began on their journey back to Seireitei. As she walked little Shunsui home, not for the first time Soifon realisation that she really wanted a child of her own. She wanted a child with Kira and she knew Kira wanted children too. Afterall, he had tried to desperately hard to be allowed to adopt Ichimaru's children. Only to be thwarted by combined efforts of the then Captain Kyoraku Shunsui and Vice-captain Ise Nanao. Soifon knew that Kira still felt the loss of what might have been. If only for Kira's sake, Soifon decided, it was time that she had a word with her mother.
Author's note: Much of what I have presented so far had been previously written for another story that become too big to handle and I have been breaking it apart into several smaller stories. So that's why the chapters have been coming thick and fast. But I am almost at the end of pre-written material, so the current pace won't be maintained.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!!
Part: 5 of ?
Word Count: 3333
Once every week, rain or shine, Kira Izuru found time to go tend his parents graves. Even if he had to do it in the dead of night in lieu of sleep. He had never failed and he was not about to fail in his duties as a son because of a little illness. However, Soifon was an entirely different matter.
"No!" she said firmly, "You are not leaving the house."
"Don't be like that," begged Kira, "The cemetery is not far from here and a little walk in the fresh air will do me good."
"If you want a little walk in the fresh air, you can pace in the garden," countered Soifon, "The cemetery is half a ri away! Granted normally that would not be much of a distance, especially with Shunpo. But, you can't use Shunpo right now or you shouldn't use shunpo right now and I rather doubt your recovery will be helped by the long walk and the physical exertion needed to clean and maintain the grave," she reasoned.
"But..."
"No buts! I'll... I'll go in your place," said Soifon.
Kira blinked, "Shaolin..."
"What? I am almost your wife, so it's fine if I go," she said looking away, it a bit of a sore point between them, the fact that they could not, would not get married.
Just like that a wave of depression crashed on down Kira, "Thank you," he whispered, suddenly feeling drained and tired and thinking of nothing but to not have that discussion... have that fight again.
There was no point. There was no solution to the problem. They couldn't get married, because their clans were not equals. The Fon clan was several rungs up on the clan ladder then the Kira clan. If they got married, Kira Izuru would have to leave his clan and join the Fon clan. He couldn't do that. That would effectively be the death sentence for his clan, his clan that had finally started getting some recognition because of his captaincy. However, if Kira didn't leave his clan and Soifon went ahead and married him anyway, SHE would be cast out of her clan. The Fon's were harsh and even though it would mean depriving the clan of its brightest star, they would do it. The Fon clan did not abide by rule breakers. Being cast out would hurt Soifon's pride, damage her honour. She couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it, not even for him and that was all their was to it.
There was one serious and real implication to their present arrangement. As long as Soifon was a member of the Fon clan and not married, her children would automatically be part of the Fon clan. The Fon clan sole purpose of existence was to be of service to the Shihōin clan by joining the Onmitsukidō. Any member who does not pass the test to get into the Onmitsukidō is immediately exiled from the family. To ensure they do not disgrace their parents and relatives by getting exiled, the children of the Fon clan are trained mercilessly and placed under enormous pressure to succeed. Kira did not much approve of the methods by which the Fon clan brought up their children and certainly didn't want HIS children brought up like that. Which meant that no matter how much he loved Soifon, he could never, ever have children with her. Not that she was all that keen on the idea of ruining her combat ready body by bearing children but...
"You are thinking gloomy thoughts aren't you?" said Soifon, sounding exceedingly irritated, "You have that look on your face. You know, like you think the world is about to end... well actually no, not that face. I have seen THAT face! I will never forget how you screamed like a little girl back during the fight in Fake Karakura town, just before the Vizards showed up."
"I did not scream like a little girl!" protested Kira, "And if I recall correctly, you were looking pretty terrified yourself!"
"I wasn't screaming, This is it! It's all over!" Soifon pointed out, "You fall into despair so easily, Izuru. What am I ever going to do with you?" she wondered as she wrapped herself around him.
Kira smiled, "Just keep doing what you are doing now and I promise I won't fall into despair," Just stay with me, never leave me and I won't have any cause for despair.
Little Shunsui peeped into Komamura's room and spyed the 7th Squad captain busy attending to the administrative duties associated with running a squad with his Vice-captain Iba. Komamura's dog, Goro, was stretched out at Komamura's feet. However, it seemed to sense Shunsui because it immediately looked up and was about to give a happy bark when Shunsui shook his head before beckoning it to come. Goro seemed to understand and began to stealthily inching towards the door, much to Shunsui's delight.
"Is there a reason you are calling Goro away without saying hello to me, Shunsui?" asked Komamura, who had noticed almost all of Shunsui and Goro's movements.
Shunsui stepped in and plastered a big bright smile on his face, "I just didn't want to disturb you, Komamura-san, seeing as how you are busy. I just wanted to go for a walk with Goro."
Komamura did not fail to noticed the subtle signs about the boy that betrayed the fact he was not telling the entire truth. The 7th Squad Captain wondered whether he should push the point. But, he noticed that the boy also bore signs of being fairly upset. This was reason enough for Komamura to let him be. "Very well," he said with a kind smile, "Enjoy your walk."
"Thanks Komamura-san! Your the best! Not to mention the cuddliest!" said the boy before rushing off.
Iba shook his head in resignation. The seventh squad's reputation had been suffering continuously since the birth of the twins. Because as far as the twins were concerned, Captain Komamura being a humanoid wolf equalled to him being a giant walking, talking stuffed toy! Captain Komamura, who had suffered a lifetime of discrimination because of his looks, found the children's adoration delightful. After all, it was one thing to be tolerated, another to be accepted but to be actually loved for what you were... that was something entirely different. However... did Shunsui really have to include a dog character in his Adventures of Haineko manga called Koma-koma - the cuddliest dog in all of Soul Society? Iba sighed, wondering if he would ever be able to show his face in Squad 11 again.
Soifon stood in front of Kira's parents grave for a moment gathering her thoughts. Having composed what she was going to say she pressing her palms together and prayed, "I am sorry," she began, "Kira couldn't be here. He's sick, so... so I am here instead," she paused, before adding, "I know I am not his wife... and can't be his wife as things stand but... but I hope you will over look it. I mean... I do love him. I really do. So... so... please understand!" with that she hastily bowed before starting the task of cleaning and maintaining the grave.
"I am not allowed to come to the cemetery by myself," Shunsui was saying to Goro, "But I really wanted to visit mom but with Kira-san sick, I couldn't really ask anyone else. Well... I guess I could have asked Orihime-chan. She's good at keeping secrets but I would have had to tell her that I know that Ichimaru Gin is my birth father and I don't think she would have been able to keep that from Nanao-san. But I don't want Nanao-san to ever find out. It would make her so sad and might make her cry. I don't want Nanao-san to cry. I don't like it. It's better when she's happy and smiling. She doesn't smile enough as it is," the boy told the dog, "But daddy just said I couldn't come to the cemetery alone! He didn't say I have to have a shinigami with me! Besides, your as good as any shinigami! Aren't you Goro!"
Goro let out a loud woof of affirmative and jumped up to lick the boy's face. Shunsui giggled, "Yeah, so we are going to go visit my mom's grave today and you have to promise not to say anything to Komamura-san. If you did, he would have to tell daddy about it. Although, I think daddy knows I figured it out. He just hasn't said anything because I haven't said anything. Maybe he hasn't said anything because Rangiku doesn't know, isn't curious enough to figure out the puzzle behind my silver hair. I wonder if she even thought about how I don't look like mom or dad. Probably hasn't. She's not the type to seek out puzzles. If someone points it out to her, maybe she'll think about it and figure it out. It's not exactly hard. But," turning back to the dog, "You promise, don't you Goro? Not to say anything?"
The dog barked again, Shunsui giggled, "Thanks!"
Shunsui walked the familiar path that lead to his mother's grave, taking absent note of the few other people who had also come to mourn. There was an young couple dressed in their best kimonos kneeling by a grave near the gate. In the far corner there were a few of shinigami gathered around a grave marked with a large stone, Shunsui paused to survey them. He didn't recognise them or the grave they were visiting. He ignored them, trusting that they were too absorbed in their business to take note of him. The last mourner in the cemetery was a young woman dressed in a bright yellow kimono embroidered with black tread, her hair was done up very delicately with flowers and an expensive looking hair ornament. Shunsui only caught a side profile of her face. He thought she was very pretty but not anyone he knew. If she was still here after he was done and he felt up to it, he should probably go and introduce himself. After all, as his father always said, you can never know too many women.
Once he got there, he smiled the biggest smile he could manage at the moment, "Hi mom! I came to visit you and look I brought Goro with me! You remember Goro don't you? Captain Komamura's dog? Daddy said I can't come here by myself, so I asked Goro to come with me. I a... I really wanted to talk to you," he said as he sat down in from the of the grave, reaching inside his Yakuta he produced some incense and set them up before lighting them, "See... it's about the scrapbook you left me about..." he paused and sighed, "I guess I should really say my father but I don't want to disrespect daddy, after all Captain Commander Koyraku Shunsui is my father, but calling him Ichimaru Gin just doesn't feel right either. I guess you would call it a bit of a dilemma," said the boy.
"But that's not what I am here to talk about. See some days ago, before Kira-san got sick, I was at squad three looking through the scrapbook and I got to the page where you talked about my name. About how you wanted to name me Gin after him but he wouldn't let you because he didn't want me to be tainted by his deeds. But you said that you thought he was going to ask you to name me Souske after Aizen but stopped at the last minute and joked about naming me after Captain Hitsugaya," the words just spilled out of him, "Why would he do that? Why would he want to name me after Aizen? I don't understand it at all?" he said, "I don't understand him. He wouldn't let you name me after him because he didn't want me to be tainted but he was ready for me to be named after Aizen! That doesn't make any sense!" he cried, before sighing, "I wanted to ask Captain Kira about it but he was busy and so I didn't get a chance to ask and then he got sick. But I have been thinking about it ever since. How did I end up with my name? Did daddy pick it? But I would have thought daddy would have named me after Yama-jii or even Ukitake-san. It doesn't make sense," he said as tears well up in his eyes, "heh, look at this," he said self mockingly as he brushed aside some tears, "I don't even know why I am crying! I am not upset... well maybe a little but I am not sure what I am upset about."
The boy sobbed, "I guess, I guess I kind of wonder how... how one man could be so many things. I mean, he was an unrepentant traitor but he was also a captain Kira-san really admired, a playmate Yachiru-chan still misses and..." he sobbed, "Nanao-san thinks we don't notice that she makes a visit all by herself to you every year on the 10th of September. But we do! I just didn't know why she always bought you a bottle of sake with two glasses every year on the 10th. I mean, I knew she wasn't drinking any. As daddy put it, she always comes home painfully sober. But now I know. That's how you used to celebrate his birthday, drinking a glass of sake with him... you said so in the scrapbook," said the boy, "You must really have loved him.... I mean, I knew you loved him and all. What I mean is that... that you loved him so much that Nanao-san is still helping you celebrate his birthday, or maybe its because in her own way, Nanao-san misses him too," little Shunsui explained.
"I don't know if the ghost of Aizen and Tosen still haunt Seireitei but... but the ghost of Ichimaru Gin is certainly still here," Shunsui pulled up his knees and buried his face in his thighs, his shoulders shook from his tears, "I wish I didn't look like him. Maybe if I didn't look like him. Then maybe, maybe... people wouldn't be so sad, just because they wouldn't be reminded of him every time they look at me."
Goro made a small nose and nuzzled his side, trying to comfort him. Goro wasn't the only one. Suddenly Shunsui found himself pulled into a warm hug by the woman he had seen earlier, the woman in the yellow kimono. It was not till he smelt her honey scented skin did Shunsui realise that the woman was in fact Captain Soifon, "Ichimaru named you," she told him in answer to his earlier question, in a hushed whisper, "During Matsumoto's funeral, he saw you for the first time," and the last time as well, she added to herself, "And he was the one who named you. It was, important to him."
Ichimaru reached for his son, "What ya name 'im?" he asked as he cradled the boy, "I mean, I am assum'n ya named my li'l angel Rangiku."
"Yes," replied Orhime, "Rangiku-san made it clear that girl was to be named after her. But," she tilted her chin towards the boy, "He doesn't have a name yet," she explained, "Rangiku-san died before she picked a name and with everything that's been happening, Kyoraku-san hasn't picked one yet either."
"I see," whispered Gin, after a moment's thought he moved forward. He approached Captain Kyoraku and Nanao, "Name 'im Shunsui," he said to Kyoraku, "Rangiku wanted ta name 'im after 'is father. Ya're his father now, so ya should name him after yerself."
Soifon gently rubbed Shunsui's back in an attempt to calm the boy as he continued sob into her chest. "Don't cry," she whispered, "You don't make anyone sad," she told him.
"That's not true!" sobbed the boy, "Kira-san still get's all choked up when he looks at me and Hinamori would be very happy if I got eaten by a hollow."
"I wouldn't worry about what Hinamori thinks," said Soifon, "You could have been the spitting image of Matsumoto Rangiku, like your sister, and she would still hate you. Her problem is that the Aizen she loved was an illusion. While Ichimaru Gin was real in a way neither Aizen nor Tosen was. Ichimaru never hid his true nature. Aizen did. Tosen was a complicated story. He truly believed that he was righteous but blind righteousness can often lead to hypocrisy and Tosen Kaname was a hypocrite of the first order. So you see, you don't make Hinamori sad. She makes herself miserable."
"But Kira-san..."
"Is very happy that his captain lives on in you," said Soifon, "Just as Ise is happy her friend is alive in you. Don't ever be upset about being exactly the way you are," she told him, "Because there is really nothing to be upset about."
The boy said nothing, just hugged her a little harder. Finally he pulled away and looked her up and down, "You look pretty," he said smiling brightly, a real, unforced smile, "You should dress-up more often!"
Soifon pulled a face, "I don't know about that. It took me over an hour to get dressed!"
"But you look so nice!" protested the boy.
"What, I don't look nice normally?" demanded Soifon playfully, happy that Shunsui seemed to be returning to normal.
"O no, you always look nice!" said Shunsui, "Just that today you look extra nice!"
"Thanks," said Soifon with a smile, "Now come on, I'll take you back home."
"You don't have to!" said the boy, "I have Goro! We'll get back to Squad seven in no time. Then I'll head home."
"Shunsui," whispered Soifon, "It's okay, I won't say anything to Nanao or to the Captain-commander."
"Thanks," said Shunsui, sounding a little sad again, "It might upset Nanao-san and I don't want to upset Nanao-san. I love her so much! I only ever want to be a reason to make her smile."
"You are," Soifon assured him, "Don't worry about that."
Shunsui smiled, "Okay! Let's go! If I am late, Komamura-san will worry!"
Soifon smiled as she got up to go, "You know, Shunsui," Soifon suddenly decided to add, "In a way, this is Ichimaru's grave too. You see, Shinsou is down there."
"Wha.. what? But I thought the zanpakuto of traitors were destroyed!" came the reply of the surprised little boy.
"Normally they are, but on the day of Matsumoto's funeral he requested that Shinsou be buried with Heinako and Matsumoto. He didn't deserve it, he said so himself, but if only for the sake of my own soul and peace of mind, I complied," she explained.
Shunsui smiled, "Thanks for telling me! I am... I am glad. Because this way Heinako won't be lonely!"
Soifon smiled, "Yes, Heinako won't be lonely. Now come on, let's get going!" she offered her hand to Shunsui, which he immediately accepted and they began on their journey back to Seireitei. As she walked little Shunsui home, not for the first time Soifon realisation that she really wanted a child of her own. She wanted a child with Kira and she knew Kira wanted children too. Afterall, he had tried to desperately hard to be allowed to adopt Ichimaru's children. Only to be thwarted by combined efforts of the then Captain Kyoraku Shunsui and Vice-captain Ise Nanao. Soifon knew that Kira still felt the loss of what might have been. If only for Kira's sake, Soifon decided, it was time that she had a word with her mother.
Author's note: Much of what I have presented so far had been previously written for another story that become too big to handle and I have been breaking it apart into several smaller stories. So that's why the chapters have been coming thick and fast. But I am almost at the end of pre-written material, so the current pace won't be maintained.