Horses soothe the soul
i have debated for about three days about posting this here..but i figured it would be welcome in a community of horse lovers...so if it's alright to pour out some of my emotions..here it goes.
Two years ago this September 14th, my younger brother passed away. He was 23 years old.
i have never known such pain and loss before in my life. Yes, i have lost loved ones, but this one really hurt.
i became depressed. i had to literally drag myself out of bed more mornings than i care to admit. my work suffered, my relationships suffered. Life was bleak and although i tried not to fall into despair, i did.
i lost my faith. . .
Six months later, i took up horseback riding.
Slowly the pain began to heal. i began to look forward to something again. i have had occasional breakdowns at the stable, the people i have met there and the horse i ride there have always been there for me. Caleb (the horse i ride) seemed to know when i was having a bad day..and it seems, to me, he would try to be extra good or cheer me up..and sometimes, he just stood there while i cried into his shoulder.
Riding has become almost a therapy for me. By being able to connect with another living creature, the sensations, the routine, the joy of that connection when we both work together..or just that quiet companionship on a trail ride ..is like a balm for the pain and the hole in my soul.
Over the course of this past year and a half (roughly) i have healed in ways i never thought possible. i still have my moments and these next three months are hard. but i am finding a new normal and i am finding a way to heal through my love of horses and riding.
i don't think i have the words to express my feelings..gratitude, joy, hope...alive.
It's through horses that i have rediscovered the joy of life, of living.
i am grateful for the time i am given.
i also thought i would post some pics of Caleb and myself.
my Mom, Caleb, me, my Dad.
Two years ago this September 14th, my younger brother passed away. He was 23 years old.
i have never known such pain and loss before in my life. Yes, i have lost loved ones, but this one really hurt.
i became depressed. i had to literally drag myself out of bed more mornings than i care to admit. my work suffered, my relationships suffered. Life was bleak and although i tried not to fall into despair, i did.
i lost my faith. . .
Six months later, i took up horseback riding.
Slowly the pain began to heal. i began to look forward to something again. i have had occasional breakdowns at the stable, the people i have met there and the horse i ride there have always been there for me. Caleb (the horse i ride) seemed to know when i was having a bad day..and it seems, to me, he would try to be extra good or cheer me up..and sometimes, he just stood there while i cried into his shoulder.
Riding has become almost a therapy for me. By being able to connect with another living creature, the sensations, the routine, the joy of that connection when we both work together..or just that quiet companionship on a trail ride ..is like a balm for the pain and the hole in my soul.
Over the course of this past year and a half (roughly) i have healed in ways i never thought possible. i still have my moments and these next three months are hard. but i am finding a new normal and i am finding a way to heal through my love of horses and riding.
i don't think i have the words to express my feelings..gratitude, joy, hope...alive.
It's through horses that i have rediscovered the joy of life, of living.
i am grateful for the time i am given.
i also thought i would post some pics of Caleb and myself.
my Mom, Caleb, me, my Dad.