touchy situation?
So I went with my friend out to the very small private barn that she keeps her horse at tonight and had to walk away...
Story goes...She had a physco tb that never raced but was never handled until he was 4, they had to tranq him just to get him in the trailer and he was still fighting...shouldve been a clue then...but to make a long story short he was a huge mistake for her and might have taught her too much grit.
Just recently she got a 7yr old, green broke QH paint. He is a much nicer guy and though he doesnt know much, will still try and learn instead of just resisting like the previous horse.
They are working on basics at the moment and are in sidereins. I made a few suggestions because she is mostly working on her own, i thought the reins were too short and placed too high under the saddle flap. I always feel awkward telling her things because im not a confrontational person. Also it just seems weird to be showing a peer something but thinking back i've learned so much in the last year where she hasnt.
The sidereins werent a huge issue to me, but it was her way of handling him now. He gets nervous and will break the walk and start jigging/trotting, so he gets shanked and told to walk and when he turns towards her he gets sent off which just freaks him out so it's a vicious cycle of him being fearful and her getting pissed and yanking on his face.
I stood there and watched it kinda in amazement that she would be doing this...waited, ok maybe it was a fluke thing...nope it started up again! So i just left, i couldnt stand there and watch it anymore.
This is where the intersting situation comes in...Her "trainer" the BO and my trainer and a few other couples are in the house, so that's where i go just so im not chilling outside by myself since the friend drove and i cant physically leave. I walk in and the BO couple are cops and have known me a while so they ALL know im pissed (plus im really easy to read), so trying not to be "tattling" i just say she has everything under her control and is just being a little too tough in my opinion. So BO goes down and comes back later, cant really say anything to me since there's a crowd. Well friend comes back to house and we all leave, drive to my car in silence.
So i dont really know if she's mad at me for "tattling" or what, she is italian and has a hot temper so idk. But how would you handle something like this? I really hate telling her how to handle her horse, everyone has their ways, but really? That was too much, that horse was straight out fearful of her and just trying to leave the situation :/
Plus the whole trainer thing is weird cuz her BO and my trainer are really close, but im friends with her BO too...I'm proud that i was able to do something other than sit there but now im feeling super guilty about the whole thing. I dont know if i make friend feel stupid thus angry at me for suggesting things and having a really good riding situation on my end or what.
Most of this is just me ranting and over-analyzing but has anyone else dealt with a situation like this?
EDIT: for placing crazy length entry under a cut
Story goes...She had a physco tb that never raced but was never handled until he was 4, they had to tranq him just to get him in the trailer and he was still fighting...shouldve been a clue then...but to make a long story short he was a huge mistake for her and might have taught her too much grit.
Just recently she got a 7yr old, green broke QH paint. He is a much nicer guy and though he doesnt know much, will still try and learn instead of just resisting like the previous horse.
They are working on basics at the moment and are in sidereins. I made a few suggestions because she is mostly working on her own, i thought the reins were too short and placed too high under the saddle flap. I always feel awkward telling her things because im not a confrontational person. Also it just seems weird to be showing a peer something but thinking back i've learned so much in the last year where she hasnt.
The sidereins werent a huge issue to me, but it was her way of handling him now. He gets nervous and will break the walk and start jigging/trotting, so he gets shanked and told to walk and when he turns towards her he gets sent off which just freaks him out so it's a vicious cycle of him being fearful and her getting pissed and yanking on his face.
I stood there and watched it kinda in amazement that she would be doing this...waited, ok maybe it was a fluke thing...nope it started up again! So i just left, i couldnt stand there and watch it anymore.
This is where the intersting situation comes in...Her "trainer" the BO and my trainer and a few other couples are in the house, so that's where i go just so im not chilling outside by myself since the friend drove and i cant physically leave. I walk in and the BO couple are cops and have known me a while so they ALL know im pissed (plus im really easy to read), so trying not to be "tattling" i just say she has everything under her control and is just being a little too tough in my opinion. So BO goes down and comes back later, cant really say anything to me since there's a crowd. Well friend comes back to house and we all leave, drive to my car in silence.
So i dont really know if she's mad at me for "tattling" or what, she is italian and has a hot temper so idk. But how would you handle something like this? I really hate telling her how to handle her horse, everyone has their ways, but really? That was too much, that horse was straight out fearful of her and just trying to leave the situation :/
Plus the whole trainer thing is weird cuz her BO and my trainer are really close, but im friends with her BO too...I'm proud that i was able to do something other than sit there but now im feeling super guilty about the whole thing. I dont know if i make friend feel stupid thus angry at me for suggesting things and having a really good riding situation on my end or what.
Most of this is just me ranting and over-analyzing but has anyone else dealt with a situation like this?
EDIT: for placing crazy length entry under a cut