『thirty-nine 』 | accidentally posted, hastily filtered from marauders & lily
Every day that passes, I realize how it's like to be normal. No Voldemort, no visions. No having to worry whether the person behind me is going to try and kill me. Spending time with Ron, Neville, and Luna- talking to Lily Potter. These are how things are supposed to be, right?
...But I don't have the right to just run away. Not while there's a war at home. Not while the bloody Ministry's gone to hell- Half of them Imperiused, the other half Voldemort's followers. If they're sending Muggleborns to Azkaban, who's to say that next month's agenda won't be Muggle genocide? They don't even know we exist.
And of course I'll bloody well fix everything because I'm the chosen one! That's how it's supposed to go, isn't it? I'll defeat Voldemort and everything will be fine! Are they idiots-- I don't have some secret weapon up my sleeve, I don't even have my own wand anymore! My grades are average, Hermione knows more spells than me-- I can't even collect all the Horcruxes, no less approach Voldemort without feeling like my head's about to split in two.
If Dumbledore couldn't stop him, what chance do I have? Dumbledore-
He was here and never said anything. Never said a single word other then about lemon drops or some other useless garble. It's always do this Harry, do that Harry- trust me no matter what, even if I don't tell you anything! You know, like the fact that I was bloody best friends with Grindenwald and nearly became a Dark Lord myself. Now here's a Quidditch Snitch, and go save the world!
What if I fail- This is enough-- [audio recording snaps off]
...But I don't have the right to just run away. Not while there's a war at home. Not while the bloody Ministry's gone to hell- Half of them Imperiused, the other half Voldemort's followers. If they're sending Muggleborns to Azkaban, who's to say that next month's agenda won't be Muggle genocide? They don't even know we exist.
And of course I'll bloody well fix everything because I'm the chosen one! That's how it's supposed to go, isn't it? I'll defeat Voldemort and everything will be fine! Are they idiots-- I don't have some secret weapon up my sleeve, I don't even have my own wand anymore! My grades are average, Hermione knows more spells than me-- I can't even collect all the Horcruxes, no less approach Voldemort without feeling like my head's about to split in two.
If Dumbledore couldn't stop him, what chance do I have? Dumbledore-
He was here and never said anything. Never said a single word other then about lemon drops or some other useless garble. It's always do this Harry, do that Harry- trust me no matter what, even if I don't tell you anything! You know, like the fact that I was bloody best friends with Grindenwald and nearly became a Dark Lord myself. Now here's a Quidditch Snitch, and go save the world!
What if I fail- This is enough-- [audio recording snaps off]