Lost fic: Cry for the Moon [J/K/S, rated R]
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine.
Notes: Using for: psych_30 #11, castration anxiety, and fanfic100 #43, square. Spoilers through "Through the Looking Glass." Rated R.
Summary: Sawyer wants Juliet. Juliet wants Jack. Kate wants…?
Cry for the Moon
by eponine119
July 7, 2007
He wants whatever Jack has.
It doesn't matter what it is. That's the problem.
No. The real problem is, she's not Jack's anymore. She's Sawyer's. So now that he's got her, he doesn't want her.
Kate sits next to Sun, washing clothes in the rainwater trough. The green shirt she wore when he kissed her the first time. The satin tank top he pulled off over her head when they both thought he was going to die. There's a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, a sickening mixture of anxiety and desire. If she had to give it a name, this uncomfortable thing, she'd call it love. She doesn't know how love feels, apart from terror.
She watches him surreptitiously. It's not Sun she worries about catching her. Sun has other worries occupying her. But if Sawyer should turn and look and catch her…their eyes would lock. His would blaze. Then he'd turn his back on her and slink away.
He won't catch her, though. He's too absorbed in his new pursuit. Juliet kissed Jack, in front of them both, making her point and her claim. Now Sawyer stands over her, weight centered at his hips provocatively. The sun has kissed them both like they are gods. Juliet doesn't smile. She knows better. Sawyer doesn't like things easy.
He'd die if he realized how easily they both can handle him.
…
That night she's painfully aware of who he's really making love to. His hand trails through her hair and she knows he's imagining golden waves, silk not yet tangled and ruined by saltwater. He rubs his face between her breasts and she thinks about Juliet. With gentle hands he turns her onto her belly and kisses the base of her spine.
Then he fucks her from behind so he won't have to see her face.
She tries to think about Jack, but it doesn't work. It's Sawyer who's inside her. And her traitorous body comes.
…
In the morning, Sawyer puts himself next to Juliet. Jack keeps touching her with tiny unconscious movements, and Kate watches as the storm grows in Sawyer's eyes. Kate walks up. She can feel the tension coming off Sawyer's body in waves. He doesn't want her there.
Kate rests a possessive hand on his shoulder, then realizes it's the wrong approach. He doesn't want to be owned, and it gives Juliet something else not to care about, which will just make him want her more. So she sits next to Jack.
Juliet pretends she doesn't care. But Kate remembers Juliet telling her that Jack loved her, Kate. Juliet cared then.
Kate volunteers to go along with Jack today. She wonders what it must be like to be him. To be so wanted. The only person in her entire life who ever wanted her this bad was Wayne, and that…that was something else entirely.
When they get up to walk away, she realizes with a twinge that this leaves Sawyer and Juliet together. But she feels Sawyer's eyes burning into her back, and then Jack touches her. Excitement sings through her body like electricity, and she doesn't look back. It would spoil the effect.
…
The problem is how to get Jack to kiss her. She can't kiss him, because he knows she's with Sawyer. That already makes her easy in his eyes. She knows he hasn't laid a carnal hand on Juliet, not yet, but he's thinking about it. Partially inspired by her and Sawyer, because it usually takes him longer to warm up. That's the problem: Jack and Juliet are both ice, and she and Sawyer are both fire. She understands why Sawyer craves coolness, because she wants it too.
Jack kissed her, once. When she was burning and swollen from crying. His lips were cool and soft, and his hand that snaked up along her spine was like a bath, surrounding her in comfort. Sawyer's kiss was more the crackle of arson, threatening to melt her, char her away into ashes and nothingness. She's always preferred sinking.
Jack talks to her like she's a friend now. He's comfortable. He trusts her. She hates it.
They end up at the waterfall, the day's mission abandoned. Kate pulls off her clothes and wades in, letting the water soak her dingy bra. She taunts Jack, then turns to face him. He startles, looking away quickly, and she realizes the fabric now clinging to her skin has turned sheer. She might as well be naked in front of him. She reaches for her shirt and his hand stops her.
Oh, god, this is what she wanted, but it's the wrong time and the wrong place. Then his mouth meets hers and she forgets all her motives and plans. He kisses her for real this time, tongue flowing into hers. She'd float away if he didn't hold her. He wants her, and for the first time in her life desire feels pure and clean.
Reluctantly, she breaks the kiss. They're breathing in tandem. She wants to ask, what about Juliet? But instead she says, "I thought he was going to die."
"I know."
"I wanted to give him something to fight for." Her eyes burn, and his thumb soothes the heat away.
"I know." He kisses her again. She can feel his heart, and Juliet was right. He loves her.
…
Back on the beach, it's like nothing happened. She feels empty inside as she watches Jack go back to Juliet. Sawyer's sitting in his chair, reading. He doesn't even look up. She turns her back and keeps walking.
She stands in the surf, letting the tide wash her feet as it rolls in. Then the water sweeps away the hot sand, burying her toes, a little bit deeper each time.
She was wrong to judge him. So he wants whatever Jack has. Better than her. She wants what she can't have.
end
Notes: Using for: psych_30 #11, castration anxiety, and fanfic100 #43, square. Spoilers through "Through the Looking Glass." Rated R.
Summary: Sawyer wants Juliet. Juliet wants Jack. Kate wants…?
Cry for the Moon
by eponine119
July 7, 2007
He wants whatever Jack has.
It doesn't matter what it is. That's the problem.
No. The real problem is, she's not Jack's anymore. She's Sawyer's. So now that he's got her, he doesn't want her.
Kate sits next to Sun, washing clothes in the rainwater trough. The green shirt she wore when he kissed her the first time. The satin tank top he pulled off over her head when they both thought he was going to die. There's a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, a sickening mixture of anxiety and desire. If she had to give it a name, this uncomfortable thing, she'd call it love. She doesn't know how love feels, apart from terror.
She watches him surreptitiously. It's not Sun she worries about catching her. Sun has other worries occupying her. But if Sawyer should turn and look and catch her…their eyes would lock. His would blaze. Then he'd turn his back on her and slink away.
He won't catch her, though. He's too absorbed in his new pursuit. Juliet kissed Jack, in front of them both, making her point and her claim. Now Sawyer stands over her, weight centered at his hips provocatively. The sun has kissed them both like they are gods. Juliet doesn't smile. She knows better. Sawyer doesn't like things easy.
He'd die if he realized how easily they both can handle him.
…
That night she's painfully aware of who he's really making love to. His hand trails through her hair and she knows he's imagining golden waves, silk not yet tangled and ruined by saltwater. He rubs his face between her breasts and she thinks about Juliet. With gentle hands he turns her onto her belly and kisses the base of her spine.
Then he fucks her from behind so he won't have to see her face.
She tries to think about Jack, but it doesn't work. It's Sawyer who's inside her. And her traitorous body comes.
…
In the morning, Sawyer puts himself next to Juliet. Jack keeps touching her with tiny unconscious movements, and Kate watches as the storm grows in Sawyer's eyes. Kate walks up. She can feel the tension coming off Sawyer's body in waves. He doesn't want her there.
Kate rests a possessive hand on his shoulder, then realizes it's the wrong approach. He doesn't want to be owned, and it gives Juliet something else not to care about, which will just make him want her more. So she sits next to Jack.
Juliet pretends she doesn't care. But Kate remembers Juliet telling her that Jack loved her, Kate. Juliet cared then.
Kate volunteers to go along with Jack today. She wonders what it must be like to be him. To be so wanted. The only person in her entire life who ever wanted her this bad was Wayne, and that…that was something else entirely.
When they get up to walk away, she realizes with a twinge that this leaves Sawyer and Juliet together. But she feels Sawyer's eyes burning into her back, and then Jack touches her. Excitement sings through her body like electricity, and she doesn't look back. It would spoil the effect.
…
The problem is how to get Jack to kiss her. She can't kiss him, because he knows she's with Sawyer. That already makes her easy in his eyes. She knows he hasn't laid a carnal hand on Juliet, not yet, but he's thinking about it. Partially inspired by her and Sawyer, because it usually takes him longer to warm up. That's the problem: Jack and Juliet are both ice, and she and Sawyer are both fire. She understands why Sawyer craves coolness, because she wants it too.
Jack kissed her, once. When she was burning and swollen from crying. His lips were cool and soft, and his hand that snaked up along her spine was like a bath, surrounding her in comfort. Sawyer's kiss was more the crackle of arson, threatening to melt her, char her away into ashes and nothingness. She's always preferred sinking.
Jack talks to her like she's a friend now. He's comfortable. He trusts her. She hates it.
They end up at the waterfall, the day's mission abandoned. Kate pulls off her clothes and wades in, letting the water soak her dingy bra. She taunts Jack, then turns to face him. He startles, looking away quickly, and she realizes the fabric now clinging to her skin has turned sheer. She might as well be naked in front of him. She reaches for her shirt and his hand stops her.
Oh, god, this is what she wanted, but it's the wrong time and the wrong place. Then his mouth meets hers and she forgets all her motives and plans. He kisses her for real this time, tongue flowing into hers. She'd float away if he didn't hold her. He wants her, and for the first time in her life desire feels pure and clean.
Reluctantly, she breaks the kiss. They're breathing in tandem. She wants to ask, what about Juliet? But instead she says, "I thought he was going to die."
"I know."
"I wanted to give him something to fight for." Her eyes burn, and his thumb soothes the heat away.
"I know." He kisses her again. She can feel his heart, and Juliet was right. He loves her.
…
Back on the beach, it's like nothing happened. She feels empty inside as she watches Jack go back to Juliet. Sawyer's sitting in his chair, reading. He doesn't even look up. She turns her back and keeps walking.
She stands in the surf, letting the tide wash her feet as it rolls in. Then the water sweeps away the hot sand, burying her toes, a little bit deeper each time.
She was wrong to judge him. So he wants whatever Jack has. Better than her. She wants what she can't have.
end