its 4am
its 4am and im still awake. jaret called me like 98347 times tonight cuz hes wasted and his ex was bothering him all night. he told me how he called her a slut to this guy who knew her and he said hed tell her and jaret said he didnt care. i was like damnnnn but then he said he called her much worse. like when she had a miscarriage cuz her bf threw her down the stairs, he called her a babykiller. i laughed a lot at that but its not funny but i couldnt stop laughin. she told him that she thinks he still wants her. u dont say that to someone who has a gf if u know that they love them and dont want anything to do with u. i knew she would see him there and she would talk to him. and im happy that he basically blew her off then went and called me. im starting to get aggravated at life. i hate when ppl think i mean something completely different than what im actually saying. if it says im mad then im mad. if not, then i guess im not mad now am i? no i guess not. i might go see jaret next weekend. im looking forward to it cuz i dont think id really do anything else here... its prolly gonna rain and theres nothing to do. i cant drink and i cant really have fun out here cuz syracuse sucks. i used to like it, back when there were things to do. now its shitty. jaret fell asleep when i was talking to him again. i guess im that interesting hah. i feel bad hanging up but he was sleeping and there wasnt much i could do. i ran outta stuff to say really. i hope things get better for me. i think im gonna start listening to my friends but not give advice cuz they never listen. why waste my opinion on someone who doesnt care? i know how to fix things and if theyre stuck in the same thing over and over again then maybe they should try something new, like my advice. i dunno. maybe sometimes ppl like feeling like shit. maybe they dont want things to change. but if someone comes up to me asking for my advice on something that ive already given advice to... then u can expect me to be pretty mad. dont ask me to help u if u dont wanna be helped. and dont do it for attention. if u want attention, do something crazy, dont be depressed. u get negative attention that way and ppl dont wanna be around u. i mean yea they wanna help u but at a certain point u have to say enough is enough. either let us help u or go away to be sad by urself. and dont think u know who im talking about cuz u dont. and i know u all read this and ur gonna say its mean. its not mean. its words on a page. u add the meaning, not me, i just put words together in a crafty manner to make u all guess at what the true meaning is. and yea... this is the fun part. i know how u all think and i know how this sounds to u. but what u have to remember is that just cuz it sounds a certain way, doesnt mean that thats what i mean. dont infer things from what i say. take my words literally and what i say is usually exactly what i mean. its not as complicated ad u make it seem.