that awkward moment
when you realise you've been out of secondary school for ten years and someone thinks it's a good idea to hold a reunion so you can all catch up and see how everyone turned out, it's easy to get caught up in romanticising. oh my gosh, you might think, it's going to be so much fun!
why wouldn't it be?
why wouldn't i go?
why wouldn't i want to see four hundred people in the same room, three hundred and ninety of whom i chose not to keep in touch with for the past ten years?
the answers come when you're stepping out of a cab with captureinsanity at your remodeled old school compound (that you don't even recognise anymore, because it's so much nicer than it used to be) and you only recognise one of the first three girls you see, and you can tell from her face that she only maybe sort of kind of partially remembers you. then again when you meet one of your former best friends from the formative ages of thirteen to fourteen (who turned out to be a backstabbing bitch, to be fair to her) and she has to take a moment to remember your name. ("natalie, right?")
i would give her an out considering the fact that it's been ten years, but honestly not too many of us look all that different. (we just got way better hair.)
my god, i went to school with some beautiful people.
in all fairness, it wasn't all bad. even if it was mostly alcoholic drinks (and the only non-alcoholic beverage was lemongrass tea that tasted like ass, or water you had to get from the water cooler downstairs in the canteen) and i ended up paying $70 for two bottles of tequila that i don't know if i'll ever be reimbursed for. everyone was nice, and it was good to see most of them again, and surprising to find out how big an impact on some people i made (although the fact that i made one at all was impressive in itself, tbh). the food was pretty good, and the fact that all my bitches were there with me made it just about enjoyable. realising that one of the only singaporeans who can say they've been on the olympic world stage remembers who i am despite the fact that we haven't spoken since before secondary school was also a pretty good feeling.
(another fun catch-up: my first boyfriend in kindergarten. it started with our parents and teachers pressing us to hold hands, and ended two days later when he did the same thing with another girl, and i was having none of that. eight years later, my parents bumped into him dropping his kid brother off at the same kindergarten while they were dropping my brother off, and he asked about me, and for the fifteen years since, i've been trying on-and-off to find him on facebook with no luck. so of course it's at the ten-year reunion that i hear about him dating a girl from my cohort and finally get to see him again; of course it is.)
in sum: i hate socialising, and i hate strangers, and i am the awkwardest turtle when it comes to crowds, so i feel like the fact that i had fun at all is worth calling the night a win. pictures were taken, food was had, butches were ogled at (and good god, ij makes some beautiful butches, ladies and gents, ten years later and i still would), teachers and principals were on hand for the night - and the moment we sat at our tables and had ms tan say grace was like being transported ten years into the past - and for all the griping i'm doing, i'm glad i went.
but i am never ever ever doing that again.
why wouldn't it be?
why wouldn't i go?
why wouldn't i want to see four hundred people in the same room, three hundred and ninety of whom i chose not to keep in touch with for the past ten years?
the answers come when you're stepping out of a cab with captureinsanity at your remodeled old school compound (that you don't even recognise anymore, because it's so much nicer than it used to be) and you only recognise one of the first three girls you see, and you can tell from her face that she only maybe sort of kind of partially remembers you. then again when you meet one of your former best friends from the formative ages of thirteen to fourteen (who turned out to be a backstabbing bitch, to be fair to her) and she has to take a moment to remember your name. ("natalie, right?")
i would give her an out considering the fact that it's been ten years, but honestly not too many of us look all that different. (we just got way better hair.)
my god, i went to school with some beautiful people.
in all fairness, it wasn't all bad. even if it was mostly alcoholic drinks (and the only non-alcoholic beverage was lemongrass tea that tasted like ass, or water you had to get from the water cooler downstairs in the canteen) and i ended up paying $70 for two bottles of tequila that i don't know if i'll ever be reimbursed for. everyone was nice, and it was good to see most of them again, and surprising to find out how big an impact on some people i made (although the fact that i made one at all was impressive in itself, tbh). the food was pretty good, and the fact that all my bitches were there with me made it just about enjoyable. realising that one of the only singaporeans who can say they've been on the olympic world stage remembers who i am despite the fact that we haven't spoken since before secondary school was also a pretty good feeling.
(another fun catch-up: my first boyfriend in kindergarten. it started with our parents and teachers pressing us to hold hands, and ended two days later when he did the same thing with another girl, and i was having none of that. eight years later, my parents bumped into him dropping his kid brother off at the same kindergarten while they were dropping my brother off, and he asked about me, and for the fifteen years since, i've been trying on-and-off to find him on facebook with no luck. so of course it's at the ten-year reunion that i hear about him dating a girl from my cohort and finally get to see him again; of course it is.)
in sum: i hate socialising, and i hate strangers, and i am the awkwardest turtle when it comes to crowds, so i feel like the fact that i had fun at all is worth calling the night a win. pictures were taken, food was had, butches were ogled at (and good god, ij makes some beautiful butches, ladies and gents, ten years later and i still would), teachers and principals were on hand for the night - and the moment we sat at our tables and had ms tan say grace was like being transported ten years into the past - and for all the griping i'm doing, i'm glad i went.
but i am never ever ever doing that again.