Death Eater Takes a Holiday by Lee Lee Potter

[jane_elliot]

Yes, I know, I'm supposed to be writing, not reading.  But the Small Fandom Big Bang website just went live and there's already two stories posted and I'm just too excited to be creative.  Thus, this...

Death Eater Takes a Holiday

Everyone and their grandmother has recced this story, to me and to the rest of the world.  I've been hearing about it for

Comments

[cassiopeia13]

I just finished reading it. What you stated was one of the reasons I ALMOST didn't finish. But I did, and actually enjoyed it. Yes, there are MAJOR plot holes and continuity errors and she changes tenses and POV's every line which is REALLY ANNOYING, but I really enjoyed her characterization of pretty much everyone. Snape started getting a mite sappy toward the middle and if she cut about 60-80% of the smut the story would have been much shorter. I actually stopped reading the smut scenes half way in because they were just... not needed. And the flashbacks were kind of choppy

[cassiopeia13]

Hermione honestly was a better Hermione than JKR’s Hermione who got on my nerves after book 5 until book 7 where she was okay again. You gave her a natural seeming mix of know-it-all and likability without making her seem OVERLY knowledgeable. Like she knew everything about personality as well as book knowledge which is just not how people in the real world work. Highly intelligent people, like Hermione, don’t often relate well to others, or if they do, they don’t ususlly understand everyone’s innerworkings as JKR made Hermione in the books. You managed to make her fun, loyal, loving and at the same time a person who wanted to know everything they possibly could without seeiming to BE a know it all… tough to do

[cassiopeia13]

PLOT: I loved your plot, though, the set up with the holiday was a mite strange given that you rushed through it to get Harry and Snape together, might have been more enjoyable if they'd only slept together on the last day, at least it would have been 7 days leading up to it

[jane_elliot]

I have to admit, knowing that the POV and tense change issues occur throughout the story makes me really, really glad I didn't keep reading. Did the author respond to the review?

[cassiopeia13]

Not yet, but I only sent it yesterday.

I honestly after the first few chapters didn't notice most the time, but there were times where it became blaringly obvious.

the tense was little things... I think she was writing in a style that would SOUND good, but read, just didn't work. I believe a lot of authors start off that way, because honestly, that's what we know. We, as young people, tend to think how we speak will translate into writing and sadly that is not the case.

[jane_elliot]

I have a degree in English lit, which has made it pretty much impossible for me to ignore seriously bad grammar and/or style mistakes. Though, if a story is *really* good, I sometimes can overlook minor punctuation issues. Sometimes:)

[cassiopeia13]

Haha. Yeah I definitely understand that. I have noticed even publications tend to have mistakes in them. So small grammar mistakes I don't really mind. Especially commas which is such a general mistake I most the time don't notice unless it's REALLY obvious.

I highly doubt you would have been able to get through this story even with the edited version that I read. *HEH* You'd be bald by the end of it.